I couldn't jump! What was this black majick I was witnessing with my own two eyes? Mario could jump, His brother Luigi could jump, I'm sure I remember even seeing that monkey named Donkey that he fought at the Arcades jump a couple times as well. No, my dude could NOT jump. but he had this RAD grappling hook (which is probably why he was called 'Rad' in the first place). I thought maybe he had broken legs, but then how could he run around? Maybe his gun was just so huge he needed his own personal crane system to get some sort of elevation. Yeah. That was it. He just had a really really heavy gun. At any rate, I didn't need no stinking jump, I had a grappling hook.
I played this game every chance I could. After I woke up, Before I went to bed, after my dad gave Ratchet away because he tore up his third pair of work boots. After my sister started bringing her Walkman to school, after my parents were done watching the Berlin wall being crumbled to pieces, I played Bionic Commando. When the nineties started, My parents got divorced, Neon clothes were at their peak, this blue hedgehog (that could jump) started to dominate my friends TV screens, and people were beginning to be "tight" and "fly".
I was still Rad.