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Terrible Tactics: Incest Glaive


Welcome degenerates and fuck-fighters! My name is ViceProphet, also known as CthulhuGotHisGun on PSN and I’m here to give you my expert advice on Monster Hunter World, so pay attention. Now, I have roughly 120 hours on MHW and have spent 115 of those hours using the best weapon known to man, the scourge of God, the widowmaker: (But not purple and without porn parodies, yet) the Insect Glaive. The Insect Glaive is undoubtedly the best weapon in MHW, and I’m sure many of you will disagree. However, I will spend the next couple of paragraphs convincing you of its power and giving helpful tips on how to effectively use it. In the immortal words of the Prophet, “ Let Us R O L L A R O U N D”.

Step One: Fly like a Motherfucker.

The Insect Glaive’s main appeal is the mobility it gives you to fly around like a shitty bird and harass the monster like a shitty mosquito. Most monsters do not have an aerial attack, so you basically can just destroy their ability to fight back. It really is pathetic whenever two players are using the Glaive, the monster just can’t handle it. It also trivializes most dragons since you you meet them in the air, or fly over their shitty attacks. It’s hilarious to watch them writhe around while you RIP AND TEAR their face like Doom Guy. Charge attacks are a bit harder to dodge, since most dragons tend to aim high, but once again, if you move around like that one guy from Devil May Cry it shouldn’t be an issue for much longer. Also, be aware that you can only stay in the air as long as you hit the monster with your light attack. You only get one burst of what seems to be the compressed air you fill your tires up with before you get fucked into the dirt.

Step Two: Have you ever seen Cloverfield?

The original, not the newer ones. I mean don’t get me wrong the first one was amazing, 10 Cloverfield Lane was fine as well, but I hear only bad things about the original. Destructoid has it at a solid 3.5. That isn’t remotely the point. Remember the giant bug things in the subway system that would make you explode if you were bitten by one? The Insect Glaive comes with one of those, except it’s nothing like that at all. They’re called Kinsects and they come in a few varieties of dust, the clouds of what looks like shitty Fireflies. My personal favorite is the Blast version since it causes an explosion and is the best version; anyone who disagrees can eat my ass. The second, and worst, is the Healing version. Anyone who uses the Healing version is a pussy and a cocksucker and is a shitty weakling. Anyway, the Healing variation is better for low level builds, but I don’t see the appeal. The third is the Poison variant, which is also terrible, but it has its advantages; Poison is generally not as heavy hitting as some attacks, but it does help you play the long game and plan ahead. There are also two versions of damage to choose from: Sever and Blunt. Sever is pretty self explanatory, it is better at cutting off parts of the monsters. I personally like this version since Monster parts are vital to gaining more items. I’ve never used Blunt because it’s terrible, I think. One last thing, be sure to hit every single dust cloud you see and you will go into a sort of “Demon Mode” like the Dual Blade things of Hatchets or whatever the fuck.

Step Three: You don’t need a Step Three.

Seriously, if you need a Step Three make up your own guide. Just don’t steal my name you fuck.

Alright, I might make another guide on a different weapon. For five hours I used the Charge Blade, and it has its uses. A bit too slow for my tastes, but it’s fine.

Anyway, thanks for reading, and Butterflies are Free to Fly.

- Jacket did nothing wrong.

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LaTerry   28



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About ChaunceyBoyone of us since 12:01 PM on 02.06.2018