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In Response to Anthony Burch's Not-Review of Metro 2033


Consider Chess. Look, I think its stupid that the knight, riding the presumably most mobile thing for the era (a horse) can only move in these short, crooked movements, while the rook, whatever the heck that is, can move the entire length of the field. Does he have a teleporter? I dunno. But that's the evident rule of the board: Horses are retarded and Rooks have TARDIS's. You could say Chess is a game that denies its otherwise logical constructs of order and power. You could just as easily walk away from it unhappy with the rules. But you'll similarly be missing whatever someone that invests their time in the web of rules may see in the game.

Do what you will, as you have, and make your honest point about effective/efficient/supportive rulesets. But I'd have to understand anyone willing to plainly call you out on walking off in a huff because a game isn't what you suspect it could be. 'Cuz, I've got to say, that's kinda what you're doing.

If its busted, call it busted and score it. If you've made that determination without completing the game, sure, call it busted and score it. You can walk out on a movie and review it, I think that's fine for games too, right? If you feel compelled to see a game to its narrative end, sure, go for it. As someone very plainly stated in the comments 'bump it down to easy". I've done that as a consumer. But stopping short, and throwing your hands up? You might as well just follow procedure and add your lot to the local and global record of opinion. Your non-review has the same effect as a low score. It just doesn't hit meta critic. And if D-Toid is still pressing its edict of a true 10 point scale of opinion, I think its worth following through, one way or another, and adding your voice to this game's rap sheet.
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About Tubaticone of us since 2:45 PM on 11.13.2006

-Super Meat Boy regarding Super Meat Boy

Hey. Follow me on Twitter! I'll tweet about games! Promise!
Twitter - TubaticPrime

Highlights from my blog include:

-2010 Sucked: Fable III Exemplifies the Year in Disappointement*Promoted Blog
-Keep It Complicated, Stupid
-What Wii Gaming is Like for Me*Promoted Blog
-I, The Author: How I Stole the Declaration of Independance*Promoted blog

Way of The Samurai, Shadow of the Colossus, Castle Crashers, Jet Grind Radio, ICO, Super DodgeBall, Canabalt, FTL, Final Fantasy VI and X-Com are some of the finest games ever made in ever

Xbox Live: Tubatic
PSN: Tubatic
Wii Console Code: 3554-2775-5012-0810
Tatsunoko Vs Capcom Code: 2107-0561-3043
Brawl Friend Code: 1762-2359-5359 "Tbatc"

Players can elect to summon "cartoony" versions of bats, bombs, guns, and flamethrowers. These types of items can be used to destroy objects or even other summoned items (e.g., a club can be used to hit an animal; steak can be attached to a baby to attract lions; rockets can be lobbed at a man).

-From the ESRB description of Scribblenauts

"Right after getting back to Japan, [Miyamoto] suddenly said: "You know we're including golf now." Apparently he'd stated in an interview that this time round golf shots would be determined by the backswing, even though at that time a golf game didn't exist in any shape or form!"

-A Nintendo Staffer explaining why Golf was added to Wii Sports Resort

"I have seen the Summa that everyone talks about. And I want to pour gasoline on him and cut off his ear. "

-Pendleton21 after listening to the disavowed Podtoid 94: So Baller

"question, did you play with controller or keyboard?

because controller is unplayable"
-Luc Bernard re: the first release version of Eternity's Child on Steam


"Just because u like a game doesn't mean u have to give it a high score"
-excerpt from the epic trolling on the Prototype review, inFamous/Protoype Wars, June 2009

Xbox LIVE:Tubatic
PSN ID:Tubatic
Steam ID:tubatic
Mii code:Tubatic?


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