I am a guy with no defining traits or characteristics other than the fact that I have no defining traits or characteristics. And... I am married to a hot, kinky, fetish-infested necromantic she-devil who is far too good for me and my pathetic fear of being duct taped to a tombstone in the nude. After years of doing it wrong (and mostly alone) I discovered the secret formula to growing humans and have henceforth spawned four lovely catastrophes of mine own. I work for the man as a writer in the most tedious and not-really-worth-a-fuck form of writing there is. The man calls it "SEO". I call it "Sucks Erected Organs." I also like video games and movies and comic books and silly shit like that, but so do you, so it doesn't really make a fuck and only adds to to how poorly defined I am. If I was dead I would taste like bologna.
I can also kick your scrawny ass, so there's that. ;)