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It's only been a day but I'm already sick of the Spider-Man memes. My god, it's like everyone on earth thinks they're the most clever and first person to clip together an image macro and wait for the upvotes to validate wasting time.

 
 

I'm thinking 2K can go eat a bag of rotten, maggoty dicks.

 
 

I kind of want to see Gary Oldman, as Zorg, playing Pinhead.

 
 

Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson (played by Conrad Zimmerman) prove that no matter how hard he tries, Jim Sterling will never be able to come up with a weirder movie pitch than the films Willem actually stars in.

 
 

I want to stop following internet meme trends, but I require a Bethesda login and constant internet connection.

 
 

Every night I go to sleep wishing Doctor Doom could come to life and take over the world. So sick of everything being run by petty weaklings and pettier underlings. If we have to be ruled by a totalitarian then let it be one with a spine, for Doom's sake.


 
 

I saw Avengers: Endgame again. The exciting parts didn't grab me as much as they did the first time (they seldom do), but I did pick up some of the more subtle stuff. That kind of made it more satisfying to watch, I think than even the first time. Weird.

 
 

Okay, I feel a little better now.


 
 

On this day, the day of my birth, I demand a big lottery win. If this is done, cocktails for everyone!

 
 

People acting like they've always loved "Cats" and talking about Rum Tum Tugger like they had any idea those were words, let alone a character from a shitty 90's musical, before yesterday. Fuck off.

 
 

So I wonder what's new in movie news. Huh, new Top Gun, that's unnecessary. No, why is Eddie Furlong in Terminator that's just- Oh no... Oh no no no no no NO NO NO NO WHY NO WHAT IS HAPPENING NO I CAN'T NO STOP STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT

 
 

I wonder if that aging photo app trending all over the internet is collecting facial recognition data nevermind here's my penis when I'm 80.

 
 

Sure. #AMA. I promise to be my usual curmudgeonly self.

 
 

I hope we see an Alien: Isolation sequel, but at the half-way mark, instead of more grind-level hiding, you get a prototype Pulse Rifle. But you need to lure the xeno to special kill zones, or the acid blood will cause hull breaches.

 
 

All these fantasy movies are starting to bleed together.

 
 

I love Metroidvanias, but I'll cop to not being the best at them. I just completed Bloodstained and I thought I did pretty good, only to find I have a LOT more to do to get that coveted 100%. I don't think I have it in me.

 
 

You can don "Ex Shovel Armor" in Bloodstained. It's kind of touching to see these kind of homages.

 
 
 

So is there some trick I'm missing to the David Hayter boss in Bloodstained because I've been fighting him forever. Anyone who drools "get gud" out of their mouths will die of dickrot.

 
 

So Dave Oshry of Dusk fame just teased a game in the vein of Thief: The Dark Project, and now I won't be able to sleep with (t)his giant, throbbing erection.

 
 

Yeah Game of Thrones ended badly but remember when Blizzard made Kerrigan a literal angel because they'd completely given up trying to make sense of their plot?


 
 
 

NOW YOU'RE A MAHN A MAHN-MAHN-MAHN

 
 
 

I've got enough spare cash for one game. Can't afford Bloodstained. Amid Evil is an option. I've been curious about Postal 2 since watching the Civvie 11 videos. Any other recommendations?

 
 
 
 
 

Happy Father's Day to a petulant dad, a pissy mom, a hardline conservative brother... I just wanted to have a nice dinner and enjoy polite small-talk for a few hours but everyone's chomping at the bit for me to start an argument so fuck it, I'm out.

 
 

About TheInternone of us since 3:57 PM on 07.16.2015

Mike is a crazy, jobless hobo living in his parents' basement.
 
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