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10 Things You Have No Interest In Learning about TheCiderMan!

It's actually only like five or something. I know, I'm a shithouse.

Aloha Toid-bros (and bras too natch).

It's been a hecka-long time since I've really done anything on Destructoid but I figure it was time to come crawling back like the worm I am. So inspired this fuckin' hotness I've decided to bang out a quickie "10 Things"  list.

So sit down kids and if you're not careful you might just learn something!

You won't. That was just me being a dick.

1. I'm yet another attempted writer.

Despite not writing much here blog-wise I've actually been more active in other parts of the web. I've been the "Geek" editor for two different LGBTQ lifestyle sites. One is even pretty well known these days. I enjoyed it, although never quite sure the brand of content I wrote and featured really meshed with the site's wider sensibilities. Quel dommage.

Alongside that I work hard on a couple of novels that I would never wish to try and explain to you good folk I'm not a monster.

2. I am a gay.

Yeah I know, not particularly interesting but I panicked thinking I wouldn't have ten things worth mentioning so this one always feels like a nice, lazy seat-filler.

Admittedly I don't even really hold much stock in it-I actively avoid pretty much all stereotypes often seeing myself as closer to a "straight" (whatever the hell that means) dude who likes dude-butt really. However, it has been if not the cause then at least deeply linked to some of the most profound events in my life for good or ill. It's not the biggest part of who I am but it's never been something I've ever felt ashamed of wanted to wish away.

Also, cocks.

And balls.

3. Polar Bear's Café/Shirokuma Café is fast becoming my favourite anime.

I adore anime, although I find myself sorely lacking in wider experience-I'm very aware of how much crap is out there and do my best to filter it through to only the great and good. I've seen and loved most of the more notorious anime standards for various reasons, however this silly little slice-of-life comedy about a polar bear, penguin and panda just goofing around has very quickly ascended to the top of my personal pyramid of quality.

I love everything about the show. The animation (provided by Studio Pierrot of Bleach and Naruto fame) is delightful and animals all look and act like animals would, despite talking, driving and generally being as human as they can be. Alongside this there's some great silly humour and I cannot get enough of that theme song. Seriously, it's just so light and bouncy and really encapsulates everything wonderful in the show. Sadly the series has already ended with a grand total of fifty episodes produced. I'm only ten in and I already know I'll tear up when I have to say goodbye to these guys for good-oh sure there's an ongoing manga but it is yet to see any kind of western release. Sad panda.

4. I fucking love platformers.

Seriously, you don't even know man. You don't even know.

Platformers have been the cornerstone of my entire gaming life-from my earliest memories of sitting in my brother's lap whilst he blasted through Alex Kidd or whatever the hell it was that came with his Master System, to taking it in turns to plough through The Lion King on my uncle's Mega Drive (yeah you heard me) with my sister, platformers have always been where my heart is.

Oh just fuck you.

For me a good platformer is the perfect culmination of every great part of video games. They look fantastic, have some of the best soundtracks found in the medium and can boast some of the greatest level design and use of mechanics around. You look at something like Rayman Legends and tell me that it doesn't do everything right and I will call you a damn liar and have someone remove you from the parlour sir (or mam, I'm not picky).

Then you get masterpieces like Oddworld: Abe's Exoddus who marry exquisite world-building, simple and engaging narratives, fantastic level design with intelligent and challenging puzzles? Oh be still my heart, I'm dizzy. I could just go on and on about everything that makes these types of games truly phenomenal, and maybe I will! Someday!

Seriously, platformers. They're where it's at.

5. I've lived in Germany for almost a decade.

Short story-military family, used to speak German, lost it since moving back to the UK. Any follow-up questions?

Heeeeey Dixon.

6. Coming up with 10 things is much harder than anticipated.

So I'mma finish this bad boy off later. Meantime I'm gonna spend a few hours staring at the update bar for FFXIV inch across my screen sliver by sliver. Yay shoddy connections!
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About TheCiderManone of us since 5:56 PM on 09.28.2012

This is my blog. It's sarcastic nine months of the year and ill-informed the other three. The blogs posted here are backward and confused. The one who posts them even more so. The only upside are the links. While other places have ponies or memes this blog has...


Currently enjoying some classic Squaresoft JRPGs as well as the stuff I got for Christmas.

Tactics Ogre: Let Us Cling Together is the best title of any game I've never played.

Eat more fruit!