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Heston Advice for the day: Pizza delivery. It's Acceptable to answer the door without pants on. Also, acceptable to just not answer the door at all, sneak out of the window, and steal the pizza guy's car. Joyrides are the best. Thank me later.

- From my cold, dead hands.




 
 

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About The Actual Charlton Hestonone of us since 6:46 AM on 12.24.2017

I'm actually Charlton Heston. What, were you expecting some purple prose? An overwrought introduction? Get off of my property, you filthy God damn hippie.