NOTE: Long story short: I don't have Photoshop right now. Hopefully my stand-ins work alright :) This is what you've all been waiting for: the death knell for reviews full of dirty bias, horrendous unobjectivity and antiquated "opinions"...

I used to be around a lot more back before I moved to Australia and started medicine, but I still love Dtoid and I try to stop by the front page/IRC/the forums whenever I get a chance. Hell, I’m skipping school and laundering money to go ...

NOTE: Normally I would not cross-post on my c-blog and on the other site I write for, but as this is something quite specific to Destructoid, I'm going to go ahead and post it. If people get really pissy then I can easily remove the waterma...

This article was originally written for NegativeGamer.com. Usually I wouldn't post anything from another site that I wrote, but here I just couldn't resist since this is such big news and all ;) Note: I did this in a hurry so spelling and ...

Dtoid card booster 16 is still coming, just be patient :) Ever hear someone tell you that they won’t play a game because they don’t think they can handle the pressure? Maybe you went to hand someone the controller and that person told yo...

Welcome to my wankfest! Consider this a fair warning: this post is all about how Dtoid has influenced me in the last year and my Dtoid related traveling. It includes the extreme overuse of the following words: Amazing Awesome Incredible ...

I’m going to keep the ball that Silver Dragon, Jesus H. Christ and Y0j1mb0 got rolling with another “10 things you don’t know” c-blog. So if you care to get some insight to what makes me tick, by all means stick around! 10. I prefer the ...

I've put this up in the forums, but I wanted to share it with all of you that never leave the front page :) Here are the major events that made up my evening: Just another lame-ass day... Until... OMG! FORUMZ IZ BACK! CEEEEEELABRATE...

G’DAY MATE. PUT ANOTHER SHRIMP ON THE BARBIE EDITION Not much to say intro-wise other than I’m slowly working on blogs in between moving to Australia, getting everything set-up for school and getting a place to stay, so things are moving s...

I was going to include all of this stuff in my upcoming first birthday/Destructoid world tour (wherein the world consists of the UK, Canada, the US and Australia) wrap-up post, but once I had finished writing that thing it was 8 pages and t...

Tyra will be the first female president. She already has our childrens educations in mind. When she takes over your internets THERE WILL BE NO ESCAPE. She cups the balls and sucks like a hoover. She gives people free cars. She i...

DESTRUCTOID CARDS: JOLLY SNOWFLAKE DAY EDITION If you don't know what Snowflake day is, please educate yourself. Anyways, I hope that everyone is enjoying the holidays as this will probably be the final holiday season before the complete ...

DESTRUCTOID CARDS: DEAR GOD, DO WE REALLY NEED MORE OF THESE? EDITION So as some of you may remember, a long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away I saw this wonderful little thread and decided to contribute a few cards. An exercise that...

A while ago Dyson left Retroforce GO! without warning, and since then he has only been heard from intermittently. Soon after his departure there were hints dropped about his travels, but eventually the trail went cold. Recently there has...

Heyo, I'll keep this short and to the point: - I'm now officially in London! - I'd like to meet some of you! - There's a forum thread for getting things together! - Tomorrow (Saturday) and the next day (Sunday) I'll be available for soc...

First of all: Hi to all of the Dtoiders that know who the hell I am. It's nice to be back on Destructoid again! Second of all: Hi to all of the Dtoiders who don't know who the hell I am. I'm sure that you're all just full of awesome after ...

With my last desperate grasp for internets, I secured myself a connection at Heathrow airport while waiting for my flight. What this means is that I can finally upload some photos (couldn't do so from my hotel). Enjoy! This is one of my...

WARNING: THIS BLOG CONTAINS MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF ME SPOOGING ALL OVER EVERYONE THAT I MET AT PAX AND THERE WONT BE ANY PICTURES SINCE I CAN'T SEEM TO UPLOAD THEM FROM THE HOTEL I'M IN. I ALSO WON’T BE ABLE TO READ THE COMMENTS FOR 4 MONTHS....

Dear Destructoid, Baby I know it’s been a while, but I was hoping we could pick up where we left off. You see Destructoid, I tried to call, I really did, but I’ve been in a rural area in Zambia for the last couple of months teaching nu...

SO LONG, AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH EDITION Well it's been fun kids, but as of today I'm done making Destructoid cards. Unfortunately, I don't have much time, so the notes for these cards aren't going to be my usual extended commentary, r...

<p>DESTRUCTOID CARDS: CARD HARDER WITH A VENGEANCE HD REMIX ALPHA EDITION The end is nigh! The afterthoughts at the bottom will explain precisely what that means. HEAVEN OR HELL! Booster Pack 11: The Workmeng Cometh Kryptinite...

JUST BECAUSE GARFIELD HATES MONDAYS DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO BECAUSE SOMETIMES SOMONE WILL MAKE A FUNNY CARD OF YOU AND POST IT ON MONDAY THEREBY MAKING MONDAY SLIGHTLY BETTER UNLESS YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF THE CARD EDITION This is not th...

LAZY SUNDAY EDITION Since I've been busier lately, and my card making progress has been slowed significantly, I've made a decision about which cards I'm going to do before I take off on June 12th. To see what I'm talking about, hit the aft...

LOOK, I DRINK WHILE PLAYING CARDS EDITION If you're looking for the following: - Information on how to play a drinking game with totally unmodified versions of the cards that I've put out. -.rar files including the .psd and .jpeg versio...

Sorry about not getting around to doing this yesterday, but there was an emergency. You see I had to go hang out with some friends and then get drunk and see Rush, which was bad-ass, but not exactly conducive to making cards or rules about ...

NO INTRO TO SEE HERE EDITION Booster pack 7: Evil Passionate Electric Snow: Perfect Gynecologist Cobra card notes: Oh for fucks sake. I'm going to make this easier on myself by making a story out of it. Once upon a time there was a boy...

FUCK ME, IT'S THE BIGGEST ONE YET EDITION This pack has 8 cards in it, and there's a good reason for that. With all of the cards in this pack I'll have officially posted cards for 50 people! It may or may not be a halfway point, but damn, ...

SUPER SPECIAL BIRTHDAY EDITION I'm back with a brand new set of cards and an ass that just won't quit: my own. Now because it's DJ Duffy's birthday, I figured it would be a good time to do a remix of her card. So at the end of this pack th...

Ever since I started doing the Destructoid cards en mass, people have been asking how you actually USE them, and this is the part where I have to break some bad news to you. You can't use them to play any game that I know of. Yet. Here's...

PRE COMBO-BREAKER EDITION Quick intro: for those of you wondering "how the hell do I play this crazy ass card game?" and "why does it itch down there?" I'll be posting a blog tomorrow talking about it rather than putting up more cards. I ...