Guten morgen, Destructoid! Why not get your day started with a nice dose of uplifting orchestral music? Or you guys could stick to your usual routine of crystal meth and hentai. Either works, I don't judge.
I was wondering why @Soulbow hasn't been that active around here lately, but it all makes sense now. I understand you wanting to keep this from us, but you don't have to be ashamed, friend. Get well soon, buddy. You're in our thoughts. You can beat this.
Times are tight, but if I fudge around with the numbers, I can afford one game for under $15 from the PSN sale. As such, I want to go in carefully. Thinking Pillars of Eternity, but heard good and bad things. Anyone have experience with the port? BUMP!
It has been a long week, and so I greet this day the only way I know how: by throwing celebratory slices of cheese off the balcony of my third story apartment, into the parking lot below, while waving to passersby. "We made it," I declare, beaming.
Pictured: Mike getting into the Holiday spirit, the only way he knows how. We could all learn a thing or two about the true meaning of Christmas from him. Bless you, bud. #Blessedmas #Hashtag
#Cursedmas This one is for my boy Dere.
Because my heart is without mercy or restraint, #Cursedmas; may it be laid bare for all to see. There is no escape, for this is the Great Doom of our age.
I love you all. Except for @Dere. He has failed me in the bedroom for the last time. Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out, bud. Or do: it'll be the last time anything I've touched spanks your ass.
I fucking give up. Mike has stabbed me in my dick's heart. You win, @Soulbow. I stand alone. I will hold this bridge until I am cut down in a blaze of glory and desperation. None will remember me. I will fall where I stand, and there my body will remain.
Is it illegal to jerk off while on a roller coaster if you're riding in the very back by yourself, and you finish before the ride does?
As a reminder, #HelpMike. I'll spam this all week if I have to until you fuckers pony up. Also, @Boxman214 is retiring from the BOB team. Give him a proper send-off: write a blog in his honor. And I will fight anyone who does not help Mike. That is all.
#SexySunday This was sadly the only pic I could find of @Wes on my hard drive, but it certainly makes my drive hard, and as a bonus, we have our boys @Soulbow and @Dere to make things... girthier. And some other jackass, I dunno who he is. Fuck that dude.
I have now watched the new trailer for Doom Eternal 10 times since yesterday. I need this game like Guy Fieri needs a bucket of deep-fried cookie dough. Someone please put me in a coma until November, and play this song into my headphones 24/7:
#TotallyTubularTracksThursday Because I hate to see my boy out there, all on his lonesome, trying to start a new trend. It's like watching a child who can't swim flail around in the deep end of a pool when there's no Lifeguard on duty.