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I Suck at Games: I'm gonna kill you later anyway, so why do I have to protect you?


God of War 2, one of the swan songs of the Playstation 2, starts of with a bang and never lets up until the sequel-hook finale. It showed Kratos cutting down a swathe of bodies of old Mythological figures and an Olympian along the way.

So you've played through Normal, or maybe even the Hard difficulty, and beat the game. I bet you're feeling real good with your accomplishment. Now you think you're ready to tackle the hardest difficulty of the game: Titan. This difficulty level is an unlockable for a reason: you'll need a good grasp of the game mechanics in order to even stand a chance of beating the very first boss. And by first boss, I meant the Colossus of Rhodes, the very first encounter in the game.

Titan mode basically stacks the odds against you: Orbs are worth less than normal (you only get 75% of their normal value), which means health, magic and upgrades are at a premium. You deal less damage, which means enemies take longer to kill, compunded by the fact that enemies are tougher and more agressive making them even tougher, and they are harder to stagger. Your durability is reduced, making you take more damage as is on top of the enemies dealing more damage. A simple footsoldier in Normal is more than enough to tear you to shreds in Titan. If there was a silver lining to all these, it's the fact that enemies deal more damage when they're used as projectiles.

In this difficulty, the whole game turns into one big chokepoint, where a combination of skill and luck would be required to get you past most of the areas that gave you problems in your first play through. Normally, these situations are boss fights in other games, but what I will describe is one scripted event that I haven't beaten to this day (two years and counting) : Protect the Translator, Part 1. This was the one event that made me feel inadequate.

Kratos is not amused.

Basically, the event is a three-step set piece, which trigger depending on how far you've carried the translator. The translator has his own health, and it's Fission Mailed if he dies, forcing you to restart the whole thing all over again. The first part starts once you get out of the door. A couple of dogs and soldiers are spawned and attacks you. So get to defending. Kick the dogs to the soldiers to finish quickly. The next wave starts once you get further into the bridge. Two waves A ninja Satyr and two soldiers will respawn. Dispatch them, though its easier said than done. Because of my lack of skill, I had to resort to using a glitch to get past the first two set pieces without a scratch, and trust me, you'll need all the help you can get for the third and last set piece.

The last stage of this whole ordeal starts when you reach the chamber where the book you want translated is, in the first place. You are now tasked at protecting the translator, who rushes to the center of the chamber, until all enemies are killed. This part spawns a heckuva lot of dogs and soldiers, in addition to three priests. Once you kill the first priest, two more will spawn. To illustrate why those priests are damn dangerous, here is a list of its abilities:

Teleport all around the place
Fire Homing Projectiles
Fire homing projectiles that don't damage, but glue you to the floor, making you unable to attack or defend
Melee combo that deals massive damage
Drain your magic

It is here that your target prioritizing skills are shot. Since you need to defend the translator, you're gonna have to go out of your way in order to kill the priests, because once they're dead, that's the time when all the other enemies stop spawning. So the Translator is in the center of the room, while the Priests are on the edges. If you go to kill the priest, the other enemies might kill the translator. This means you have to be quick (easier said than done). Once an enemy is airborne, he is counted as a projectile you launched. Remember the silver lining? You kick dogs for massive damage or launch a few enemies in the air. This works against you here. See, the room is filled with enemies, and kicking dogs select targets at random (though you have minor control over it, as the game picks enemies that are in front of you), if your target happens to be behind the translator, then kiss this part good bye, because you're gonna have to start all over again. Suffice to say, you're gonna have to use all of your Godslaying skills to finish this. It won't even matter if it's a decisive victory, what's important is you finished one of the biggest hurdles in Titan Mode, a feat that I am yet to accomplish.

This guy makes it look easy. No upgrades (even on health/magic) on Titan.

Now what happens after that gauntlet? You walk up to the translator, have him read the book, then kill him. Turns out that the blood of the translator is necessary to get closer to the Sisters of Fate (your overall mission). Kinda makes you wonder what the classifieds looked like when they were looking for people for this job. At least the second Translator was more of a puzzle, so you don't have to go through this nonsense.

I'm starting to believe that this is a metaphor for the futility of one's actions, in addition to making me feel depressed that I lacked "mad skeelz". Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna cry in a corner now.
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About SyntaxErrorone of us since 7:16 AM on 07.30.2007

Oh hai! I'm Reuel Santiago 20 years of age (turning 21 this July) and I live in the Philippines.

Currently, I'm studying at MIT (that's Mapua Institute of technology), the premier engineering school in the country. After 4 agonizing years, I'm finally at the homestretch, with only 11 unit remaining.

I don't own any current-gen consoles. It sucks, but MMO's and the occassional overnight binges of DotA are enough to sate my gaming hunger.

I love RPG's though. It all started with FFVIII (I have long since matured, and don't look back at VIII with the same fond memories I have of IX). As you can tell, I have a fondness for JRPG's and clicky games (Diablo II before my older PC broke down on me).

I might also get weaboo tendencies and declare my love for Japan on random instances, but that probably stems from my love of girls in tiny skirts and uniforms... I'm also into anime and manga, but not by much at the moment. I'm too busy balancing school, games and other stuff.

So there, I might edit this come July 12th, and remove parts of the first paragraph. GLHF!!!