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The Write Stuff of 07/20 - Stop, comma time


Welcome back to the Write Stuff. Now let's get into this bad boy right quick. I'm currently writing from San Fransisco, so I don't have a lot of time to devote. I've spent the day exploring this wonderful city with another day to look forward to and lots of sleep to catch up on before work sets in again. I'm even going to limit this week's choices in order to get back to my mini vacation.

This week's tip of the week is the comma. Personally speaking for myself, I tend to use commas a lot. Commas are used for a variety of things but they're used mostly to keep thoughts together in sentences. When you use a period, you're typically ending a thought or an idea. If a body is a neighborhood and paragraphs are the houses, than sentences are the rooms in those houses.

As you can see in that last sentence, I added an additional piece to that thought. When you have three or more, you're going to want to use a comma. When you want to separate different ideas, you use a comma. When you want to compile a list, you use a comma like you would a bullet list.

I'm rather guilty of having long sentences. Some people can have really small sentences from not using many commas at all. But personally, I'm not a big fan of writing small, simple sentences that just say Jimmy the dog ran through the street. I want to make it a little more flavorful, like Jimmy the dirty, one-eyed dog ran through the dark, dangerous street that has a high crime rate.

Nick's spoiler offers visceral imagery of a key moment

Imagery is writing in such a way that you can literally picture the events in your head. That's not to say imagery uses a ton of adjectives, but rather every last detail to complete the picture is listed. When Nick describes the details of Spec Ops' pivotal scene, I can picture everything from the shooting, to the people, to even their expression due to their emotional state.

ShuzBalls wants to say something good about the 3DS, but its rather underdeveloped

OHShuzBalls wanted to talk about the 3D features being a big draw for the 3DS and the possibilities of 3D being on the Playstation 3. But it isn't very developed. He offers examples of games it would be good with on both platforms but no reasons as to why Black Ops 2 would be good in 3D. And the focus on the pros of 3D leaves me thinking he should've answered the inevitable cons in his post to balance it out, if at least just a small mention near the end. Still, a decent amount of time must've went into it, so it really only needs a little bit of tweaking to hit that next level.

SuperDutchy submits his Einhander remake idea for the wrong ideas

Let's ignore that this is probably just two paragraphs crammed into one body and most of the thoughts in this copy ran together like a literal train wreck. My main beef is that the headline makes it out to be about the topic of an Einhander remake. But nothing about Einhander is actually elaborated. In fact, we know more about the other games Square made due to the fact that he outright calls them RPGs. He doesn't tell us anything about Einhander like how it's a 2D side-scrolling bullet hell shooter where you can steal enemy guns, switch between different modes of flight, and even choose from a few ships. We don't even see any reasons why Einhander deserves an HD remake. There's absolutely nothing really but just empty gushing.

- Show me your moves

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About Marcel Hoangone of us since 1:23 PM on 07.09.2011

Local contributor responsible for duties such as engagement, power bombs, cblog promotions, community engagement, and memes. I like fighting games, you scrub.

Introduction post

10 things about me

Another goddamn 10 things about Strider

~Front Paged
- Downloadables: Every night is Monday Night Combat!
- eSports: Someone you know is hype
- Relaxation: Secretly training
- I calls dibs on Gaige!
- Let's explore space! My top 10 space games
- Giving thanks: Turning over a New Leaf
- Strider's GOTY 2015

~FAP Approved!
- A discussion about Catherine with my girlfriend
- So I applied for an internship at X-Play...
- Being Social: Cal State Long Beach's Gaming Club
- Persona 4: Ultimate and 4 other fighting games you probably don't know
- A new return to 3rd Strike Online part 1: Picking a main
- Top 6 somewhat natural disasters in gaming
- Villains: For me my dear, it was merely a Tuesday
- Let's talk about Phoenix Wright and Nova in UMvC3
- How I gave my girlfriend Tetris DS and loved every minute of it
- Let's talk about Rocket Raccoon and Frank West in UMvC3
- Xenophilia: The Universal Language of Mecha
- Asura's Wrath might get panned and I'm ok with that
- Acquisition: Solid Snake signed your what?
- A Valentine's Day reflection: two great loves
- Skullgirls and the art of combos
- 6 reasons why you should check out Legend of Korra
- Today, I thought about oversexualization
- Hype: Japan Time
- Objection! The story of an impossible gift for that special someone
- Cultural identity and Sleeping Dogs
- Finn and Flame Princess' big Disney Adventure Picspam
- FTL: Recovered diaries from a derelict spaceship
- Retaliation: Your guide to fighting the Collectors
-Handsome Jack, the father, the hero, the asshole
- Before StriderHoang, there was Marcel Hoang
- Adventure Time: Hey Ice King! You're not all that mathmatical
- Ralph wrecked his way into my heart
- The sixth generation wishlist from five time Pokemon Champion, Marcel
- Strider's big, fat, ride through 2012
- Being the best predator you can be
- The Striderhoang series Dtoid Trading Card Roundup
- Strider's top 10 Kirby powers
- I love grapplers
- The gift of gaming: BIONIC ARM!
- Strider's big, bonkers GOTY 2014 list
- Strider's favorite ninjas

~Friday Night Fight Replays!
- 09/02/11
- 09/09/11
- 09/23/11
- 09/30/11
- 02/07/12
- 02/12/12

~The Write Stuff! Get to writing!
- 06/30 - The Beginning!
- 07/06 - Line breaks
- 07/13 - Tone
- 07/20 - Commas
- 08/06 - Balance
- 09/03 - Crossposting
- Write Stuff of September - Pride

~ The Cblog Fapcast!
- XCOM or bust!
- The show must Smurf on!
- ScottyG is on the line
- Hobo extraordinaire, Manchild
- The sorry game
- Girlfriend caps
- #1ReasonHow
- Holiday Revengeance
- My Hairy, Downstairs Fapcast
- bbreaking nnews
- Strider alone
- Oh the Injustice!
- Glowbear and hate
- Strider likes Animal Crossing
- E3 jinxed it
- The Steamin'ing
- Return of Pony Pals
- Quotation fingers community
- High as a robot with Lemon Buster
- I can't believe it's not Pisstoid with Nanashi
- I'm really [heavy sigh] feeling it

Also, check me out on Bitmob!
Xbox LIVE:StriderHoang
Steam ID:StriderHoang


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