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Sewaddle is the best Pokemon. You're definitely wrong if you think otherwise


Have you guys ever tried to understand a Pokemon? I mean like REALLY understand. I have, and I'm pretty sure I've succeeded. Sewaddle is as grass/bug type Pokemon introduced in Black/White. It's also the raddest Pokemon known to mankind. Sorry Ekans. I've reproduced some claims to Sewaddle's awesome nature below:

1. He turns spit into clothes.

That's right, while all of your other Pokemon are off spitting lightning bolts or some nonsense Sewaddle is fashioning body armor out of spit and leaves.

2. Look deep into his eyes. Now realize how little he cares if you live or die.

Have you ever seen a Pokemon look like he gives less of a shit? If you said yes you're a goddamn liar because no, no you haven't seen anyone more nonchalant than that badass.

(original image)

3. He's capable of boning a dragon.

Sewaddle shares an egg group with Flygon. In case you're not aware, Flygon is a big-ass anime dragon who wears sunglasses. That's right, this little bug probably takes a bitchin'-radical dragon from behind. Those Flygon probably like it.

4. Sewaddle's second evolution is goddamn bug Batman.

Look at that majestic cape. THAT SHIT IS BUILT IN. That's right, while your pasty-ass is hangin' out sewing your lame-ass cosplay in your mom's basement, Sewaddle is out makin' his own cape AND THEN BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF THUGS(pokemon). GET ON HIS LEVEL. His parents didn't even die either. Your move Batman.

5. Sewaddle's final evolution happens whenever he damn well pleases.

Look at all of your inferior Pokemon. Those submissive little bastards just evolve whenever you tell them to. You know when Sewaddle evolves? When he thinks your dumb ass is capable of dealing with his awesomeness. That's right, if you're too much of a little bitch or don't treat Sewaddle with the proper respect he'll just stay as Batman forever. That doesn't sound too bad either way.

So, which Pokemon do you think is the coolest? You're wrong. Shhhhh, don't fight it or you'll just embarrass yourself even further.

Now, which Pokemon do you think is the second coolest? Sound off below.
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About Spencer Hayesone of us since 6:18 PM on 03.10.2010

Nobody really knows what Spencer does. Technically some sort of Community Manager Spencer has also been known to stand in front of cameras and talk to people. Additionally, he's a hot hunk o' man.

Aside from these studly endeavors, Spencer loves indie games in a way that would make most people blush and has played more hours of Pokemon than any one person should.

Apparently ethics statements are a thing we're doing now so I guess I have to put that here:

I'm friends with several indie developers and I worked at Gamestop at one point in my life. I really love hotdogs.

I'm pretty sure those are the only biases I could think to air.
Xbox LIVE:Optimist Crime
PSN ID:TheCrimeMinister
Steam ID:CrimeMinister


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