So I figured that, after raving about how much I want this to become a real thing we do on Destructoid, I should probably do my own version of calling dibs. The very least I can do is complete the trio started by burningsoup and Pixielated. Seriously though; all of you go write these. Do one retro-actively for all I care. Just make it happen. I'll even get Holmes to give you a kiss.
, you say? Chespin
? Come now. We know we can't all have the best starter for Pokémon X and Y
, but is that really a reason to give up that easily? You didn't have to delude yourself into thinking that you want Froakie or Chespin; you could've fought for Fennekin, like he deserves. Well too bad, you're too late now.
Now I've got dibs on Fennekin, and there's nothing you can do about it. Why do I have dibs? Oh you ignorant fool, there are so many reasons that Fennekin beats all. But you know what? I'll give you a tiny sample, just to rub it in that you can't have him anymore.
- Fennekin can be both cute and badass. Even at the same time.
Don't believe me? Watch!
Take careful note of those other two guys being not-at-all-badass
He is sleeping in a ring of fire. Have you ever seen anything that simultaneously cute and badass? Off course you haven't. Let's see Froakie or Chespin pull that
off! So far Froakie has only been able to look like he hasn't got a clue about anything that's going on around him, and Chespin is so happy his parents should seriously consider a sugar-free diet. But Fennekin? Cute. Badass. DONE.
- Animals of the other starters already exist.
Fennekin is unique. Completely and utterly unique. Unfortunately, that doesn't hold true for our Grass and Water friends. Let's take a look:
Froakie is, obviously, a frog. But wait, haven't we seen that before? In fact, yes we have. Politoed, Seismitoad, and Toxicroak are all examples of frog-Pokémon, only one of which isn't a Water-type.
Chespin fares a little better. He bears some resemblance to a squirrel, but this position is already taken by Pokémon such as Pachirisu and Emolga. But you know what, fair enough, he probably isn't a squirrel. The other thing he looks like is a mole. Sorry, little guy, but that position is already taken as well, and Drilbur wouldn't like you messing with his game.
And what about Fennekin? Entirely unique. Not once in the entire series of Pokémon have we seen anything resembling a Fennec, or even a fox, let alone a Fire type fox.
None at all.
- Fennekin is legit the best fire-starter since Torchic.
Charmander was a great starter. Cyndaquil was noticeably less interesting, but the starters of the second generation were kind of weak as a whole. Torchic was great again; he was an awesome little fire chicken who could kick you square in the face once it grew up. But then came Chimchar and Tepig. Chimchar literally had a flame coming out of his butt, and Tepig was...a pig I guess? I'm sorry, but there's just so little to say about these guys. They're the vanilla of Pokémon, flavorless animals colored reddish to convince us they were Fire types. Besides, what the hell kind of name is "Tepig"? And don't even get me started on their evolutions.
Fennekin, however, has revived my love for the Fire-starter. Besides being cute and badass (see above), he is the first Fire-starter since Torchic to really have an identity of its own. It's based on a relatively niche animal compared to Chimchar and Tepig, and his large ears and tufts of fire-hair give him a charm that's hard not to appreciate. Moreover, Game Freak didn't feel the need to color him orange this time around, instead going with a much nicer yellow. They know he can stand on his own merits, that he isn't "random animal but now FIRE!" like his predecessors. He's a fennec and he's fire, and that makes enough sense as is.
- Nobody uses Internet Explorer anyway.
Admit it: the last time you used Internet Explorer it was to download Firefox. Firefox is a good browser, Fennekin is a Fire fox. Quod erat demonstrandum, he said in Julius Caesarese.
Oh, and while we're at it, I've also got dibs on Zapdos.
- Fennekin may be a Psychic type and Psychic kicks ass.
If the rumors are to be believed, all of the starters this time around may receive an additional type. So far, Bulbasaur is still the only starter with two types, because he hails from a time where Grass-Pokémon were obligated by law to also be Poison-type. But perhaps that will change in Generation VI. In fact, if the rumors are true, Chespin will be Grass/Dark, Froakie Water/Fighting and Fennekin Fire/Psychic.
You may recognize the Psychic-type as the type that was completely and utterly broken in the first Generation of Pokémon, where it devastated everything in its path. Off course, ever since then the type has been nerfed considerably, but as far as pure power, Special Attack, goes you still can't go wrong with a Psychic-type.
And Fennekin may be one. Apart from scorching its foes to a fine crisp, he may also have the ability to fling you straight into the wall with its mind. In fact, he'll even be able to fling Wailord around with his mind. Think about that. Yoda was able to lift a small spaceship with the Force, Luke could barely move his lightsaber, Fennekin FLINGS FUCKING WHALES WITH HIS MIND.
Chespin's going to fight like a cheating bitch, Froakie thinks he's Kung Fu Panda, Fennekin outclasses Yoda. There's just no contest here, honestly.
But that's not all. If Fennekin turns out to be a Fire/Psychic, there's only one other Pokémon that (consistently
) shares his type. The only Fire/Psychic Pokémon currently in existence is Victini, a Legendary Pokémon from Black and White. So not only will Fennekin have a cool typing, he'll only have to share it with a Legendary who is also the Victory Pokémon. Froakie, on the other hand, will share his type with a tadpole, and Chespin will share his with a cactus and a tree. Not quite the same, is it?
- Fennekin will not be a Fighting type because I will personally punch the entirety of Game Freak in the face.
Alternatively, I will hug this baby fennec...
No, that has nothing to do with anything; I just wanted an excuse to hug him.
- Fennekin has hair coming out of its ears that is also fire.
Did you know that unicorn earhairs cure every disease known to man and can grant eternal life to penguins? It's true! Point is, ear hairs are awesome, and Fennekin's got them in spades. What's more, his ear hair is fire! He has the best fire-hair this side of LeChuck, and that's gotta count for something.
- Fennekin has the most potential for evolutions.
When we first saw Charmander, how many of us could've imagined that he would evolve into the awesome dragon that is Charizard? Torchic is an even better example; how many of us foresaw that tiny chicken turn into a fearsome combination of fire, chicken and Bruce Lee?
The thing is, Fire starters have a history of turning out more awesome than you would think, whereas the others just tend to turn into a bigger version of themselves. I'll grant you Snivy, but otherwise the point more or less stands. At this point, we can only imagine what Fennekin's evolutions are going to look like. Still, it is very clear that we can expect something awesome, whatever it is. I could see him going the route of Amaterasu, and I'd be all over that.
- Red was my first ever video game.
Yep, it was
. Pokémon Red
was the first real game I've ever played, and it was what got me into gaming in the first place. Pokémon Red also had the final evolution of the Fire-starter on the cover. So, in a strange and entirely roundabout way, Fire-Pokémon are what got me into gaming. With that in mind, how could I possibly not love Fennekin?
And last but not least:
- There’s a Fennekin plushie.
Can’t argue with the plushies.
And that concludes it, you can't possibly need any more evidence than this. As you can clearly see, there is only one real option for a starter in Pokémon X and Y
, and that is Fennekin. He's cute, badass, may be Psychic, is entirely unique, has massive potential, and has a plushie. In short, we all want him.
Well, sucks to be you then, because he's already mine!
- Us heroes, we have so much to do
LOOK WHO CAME:
Hyper Lemon Buster Cannon 1