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Five Characters Who Desperately Need a Video Game - Reboot the Franchise Edition


It's been a while since I've done one of these blogs, in a moment of boredom I decided it was a good time to dust this recurring blog of mine and have a little bit of fun. You guys should know the drill by now, I'm gonna talk about characters that should get some kind of video game made about them and why.

5- The Shredder
From: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Not enough video games have you playing from the villains perspective. This is probably because a good deal of villains in video games more or less sit on their ass the entire time until the hero shows up to dish out the pain.

If I could play from any bad guys perspective Iíd probably want to be Shredder from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. For one, Shredder is a ninja Ė everybody loves ninjas (besides pirates). Secondly, Shredder is a fucking badass. Need an example of his badassery? How about in the finale of the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, where he fights all four of the turtles at the same time and wins decisively.

In fact, the only reason the Turtles survive this fight is because Splinter shows up and bails them out with his apparent Superman tier reflexes. In the original movie the Turtles never defeat or kill Shredder either, technically Casey Jones is the one who (seemingly) offs Shredder. Yeah, Shredder shows up in the sequel, but even in a rematch the Turtles still technically never defeat Shredder. How many other superhero/comic movies do you remember where the main villain makes it through two movies without the titular heroes ever really scoring a win?

If you want to make a good Shredder-centric game, Iíd make it something along the lines of a ďRise & Fall of The ShredderĒ story. Start off with pre-Shredder & pre-Foot Clan Oroku Saki and chronicle his rise in Japan including his confrontation with Hamato Yoshi (Splinterís original owner) and creation of the foot clan. Then you could jump to Shredder coming to America and doing his more traditional villainy here including battling the turtles or perhaps having confrontations with some of the other TMNT enemies (since not everybody is a lackey to the Foot Clan). Gameplay wise Iíd say follow the Arkham City model, it seems like the best ninja combat system for me.

4- Johnny ďAkibaĒ Sazaki
From: Metal Gear Solid 4

Iím actually surprised I havenít included this guy in one of my lists sooner. For those of you who havenít played Metal Gear Solid 4, let me give you a quick semi-spoilerish description of Akiba. Heís a member of Merylís team in MGS4 and his character trademarks are being goofy and constantly shiting his pants. Later in on the game you find out that heís also the unconscious naked security guard from Metal Gear Solid 1. So, why am I proposing a game focused entirely around a joke character from the Metal Gear universe?

Because he becomes fucking awesome

With most joke characters when shit gets real in the plot, the joke character either reverts to complete uselessness or somewhat rises to the occasion to become somewhat serviceable to the heroes. Akiba not only rises to the occasion, he fucks the occasion like itís the prom queen and then tells it to get out of his apartment.

A ways into MGS4 you find out Akiba has a huge thing for Meryl (who doesnít). Further on near the end of the game all sorts of shit gets real when Akiba & Meryl find themselves cornered against a ton of FROGS, super nano-machine special soldier dudes in MGS4, Not only does Akiba fight off the FROGS to defend the girl he cares for, he effectively slaughters them. Akiba summons his inner John Woo and starts dusting FROGS dual-weapon style while simultaneously putting the moves on Meryl and winning her over. Oh, and it turns out he does all of this without any nanomachine assistance. This is an important thing to note because all of that nanomachine crap is what gives basically every fucking other character in MGS4 their crazy abilities and what makes Solid Snake such a badass (this also explains why he constantly shits himself).

So not only does Akiba transform into a badass womanizing death machine, heís a badass womanizing death machine that doesnít rely on the same badass enabling devices that even the main badass character requires. A game featuring this character is solid Kojima-stamped gold waiting to happen. Akiba himself provides natural comic relief, the gameplay can go back to somewhat more old-school Metal Gear styled, and the guy even looks like a really young Snake.

3- The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
From: Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

If you were a kid you probably liked Mighty Morphin Power Rangers at some point. What wasn't to like about it? It was about a bunch of teens who turned into colorful superheros who struck dramatic karate poses as shit spontaneously exploded behind them for dramatic effect.

Yeah, the Power Rangers have had a few games featuring them before (more than a few for the entire franchise). But Iím talking specifically the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers era, aka the era of this show that all of you reading this blog gave a crap about, because fuck all of that newer Super Samurai Dino Ninja Turbo Thunder Force bullshit.

The last MMPR centric game was Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Fighting Edition for the Super Nintendo. Fighting Edition was a 2D fighter that featured a roster consisting of various giant monsters and multiple Megazords from the show (oddly enough the original Megazord isnít on the roster). Itís been 17 years since the last video game featuring the original era of Rangers came out, doesnít that suddenly make you feel old? A new video game featuring the original Power Rangers would be nothing more than a nostalgia cash in, but face it you all know the inner 10 year old in you would cheer a little hearing the original MMPR theme jamming during the opening menu of a game again.

How would the actual game go? Well, think about what made up your traditional Power Rangers episode; Rita Repulsa/Lord Zedd unleash another evil plan to take over Angel Grove and the Power Rangers fight their way through a small army of putties and end up fighting some pretty outlandish monster, which usually results in them fighting said outlandish monster again in a Godzilla styled large-scale monster battle. The video game practically writes itself!

The game could be played single player or co-operatively. Co-op could work X-Men Arcade style and support up to six players, because weíre including the Green Ranger (aka the best ranger, White Ranger was for sissies) in this game too. How would the large scale Zord fights work for co-op? Well, weíll figure that out when we get there!

2- Redline
From: Redline

Obviously, Redline isnít a character but rather a movie. Iím just throwing the entire concept of Redline into a spot on this list because the whole damn universe this movie happens in is ripe for video game shenanigans. For those of you unfamiliar; Redline is an anime film about going as fast as you fucking can, so fast that missiles shot from your car struggle to keep up with you because youíre just too damn fast. Itís the wet dream of Sonic the Hedgehogís wet dream. Some would argue that F-Zero fills this requirement already, but I say no sir Ė Redline does it better. Redlineís characters alone put F-Zeroís to shame, seriously just check out some of these toons.

Sweet JP Ė A man with the most epic pompadour in history who becomes a high-speed racer to pursue a chick he has a crush on (thatís dedication, by the way). Oh, and he drives a Trans-Am amongst a field of futuristic alien-cars.

MachineHead Ė A racer whoís literally part of his car and has his own theme music that sings the characters name for him. Because he's that boss.

Gori-Rider Ė A corrupt gorilla police officer.

Lynchman & JohnnyBoyA Ė A fusion between Beavis & Butt-Head and Batman & Robin.

There are others I havenít even bothered to mention, but doesnít this small sample size sound like something that fits right in place with a lot of the other outrageous shit you see in video games? The universe this is set in doesnít really take itself that seriously either. For example, you know how in movies it seems like the main characterís car always has some magical extra 5th or 6th gear that they shoot the car up to in order to go faster when desperately needed? Yeah, somehow every character in this movie has and uses that clichť hidden gear. Come on developers, make a game about going all of the fast. Oh, and I didnít even really mention the awesome soundtrack possibilities.

1- Vash the Stampede
From: Trigun

Game wise, imagine Red Dead Redemption with a shot of sci-fi and less donkey lady. Youíd kind of have an idea from what Iíd expect from a video game set in the Trigun universe.

Vash the Stampede is the main character from a manga & anime known as Trigun, you probably heard of it thanks to its run on Cartoon Network. Trigun also has one of the cooler intro themes this side of Power Rangers. The world Trigun takes place on has a mix of spaghetti western and science fiction tropes (probably more of the former than the latter). Vash has arguably the worst luck in the world as any place he goes tends to get wrecked by or due to him, almost always unintentionally. This earns him the nickname ďthe humanoid typhoonĒ, gets an unrealistically high bounty placed on his head, and is classified as a walking natural disaster. Heís like Godzilla if Godzilla was clumsy and wore a pretty cool red duster.

Because of his astronomical bounty he generally has a reputation of being some super badass outlaw (which kind of parallels real life old west reputations of outlaws who had reputations that far exceeded their actual accolades). Thus when most people meet the actual Vash the Stampede, they donít believe itís actually him since the real Vash is a goofy character who tends to fawn over the first pretty girl he sees (which ads a nice comedic effect to everything).

Vash isnít exactly human (not at all technically, but that potentially goes into spoilers). He has an evil twin brother named Knives, who is apathetic towards humans (oh my, a handgun toting main character in a red coat who has an evil twin brother? I wonder where Devil May Cry got that idea from). Knives forms a group called the Gung-Ho Guns who effectively act on his will, this group consists of essentially super-awesome bounty hunters that totally wouldnít be the bosses of a potential Trigun video game. Notable characters here include Legato Bluesummers, a character whoís objective is specifically to make Vashís life a living hell (the anime version of this character is substantially cooler than his manga counterpart), or Midvalley the Hornfreak Ė a character who uses a baritone saxophone as a weapon (really).

Sorry Trigun fans, I know Iím skipping a lot of other potentially important or noteworthy information but I donít want to tread on this too much. Iíll just say that the universe of Trigun and pretty crazy characters that exist in it would make for some potentially fun video game shenanigans.
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About Sephzillaone of us since 9:27 AM on 07.15.2008

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Who am I? I'm a guy who plays video games, talks way too much about comics and movies, likes Godzilla and Robocop. Why should you read my blog? Because when I write I have fun, make up bullshit lists, and when I do get a little serious with some blogs I try to be insightful and use resources and facts to try and back up my opinion as much as I can. And if you don't follow my blog, I'll send you a picture of a sad kitten who wants some love.

Also, I tend to debate a lot and get up on a soapbox a bit from time to time. I like to debate for the sake of debating and I tend to find it fun to get other peoples perspectives on things, and sometimes I like to play devil's advocate a bit just for the sake of it. Basically, don't take me so serious sometimes even if it seems like I am being serious.

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