It's New Year's Eve ladies and gentlemen! Right now I'm sitting here doing two things; one, I'm preparing my liver for the insatiable amount of booze I'm probably going to consume tonight with my friends for our traditional New Years festivities. My friends and I do some pretty fun stuff for New Years, it all pretty much revolves around drinking booze while watching really old episodes of Sesame Street (which are fantastic
when drunk), horrible 90's television commercials, and destroying furniture on beat to “Shiny Happy People” by R.E.M. Besides liver preparations, I'm also thinking about the upcoming 2013 year in video gaming. This has prompted me to put together a quick New Years cblog where I'm going to predict five things that will happen in the following year.
You know what's so fantastic about blogs like these? If I'm wrong I can just laugh it off as simple predictions, but if I'm right I can totally wave these around in your face like its a fourteen inch long penis.
1- The Vita will finally turn itself around
At some point in 2013, Sony is finally going to do something that will spark up some sales for the struggling PlayStation Vita. Ultimately, as we all know, the thing that will truly sell Vita's is a solid library of games (which may or may not already exist, depending on who you ask). However, the more immediate way to get Vita's off the shelves is to negate some of the hefty cost that comes with purchasing the system. The system itself is a tad pricey and with hefty overpriced memory cards being a hidden cost on top of the system people are probably more prone to wait a little longer and pick up a next-gen console for a little extra coin. Like the Nintendo realized with the 3DS, Sony needs to face reality and accept the fact that the Vita simply costs too much money.
2- DmC in the end will be a mild flop DmC
has probably been the consistently most controversial game around since its debut back in 2009. Despite all of the commotion and free advertising the game has benefited from due to its controversial factor, the reboot nobody really was asking for will ultimately be a relative fart in the wind. This is ground I'm recovering from a previous blog of mine
, but the fact is that hack-and-slash games simply don't sell that much overall. Given that, the fact that the calendar around DmC
's release is loaded with other games, Ninja Theory's brief history of making games that don't sell very well, and the recent demo of the game that didn't exactly silence many doubters, all of the pieces are in place for DmC
to ultimately be a let down for Capcom.
3- Call of Duty will finally stumble
Hey, it has to happen eventually right? At some point even the most die hard fans of Call of Duty
will start to get a little tired of paying $60 dollars a year for a slightly patched up version of the game they paid $60 dollars for last year. I received Black Ops 2
for Christmas and even though I'm mildly enjoying it the game as a whole feels as stale as a three month old doughnut, and I'm still one of the people who's more tolerant of the yearly releases. We aren't going to see any significant drop-off in CoD
sales this year, that would be a completely stupid prediction. I'm predicting that the next entry in this franchise will still fly off shelves, but not at the pace set by previous entries.
4- We'll see both the PlayStation 4 and Nextbox by Christmas
I know what some of you are thinking already, “but the PS4 and Nextbox haven't even been announced yet!”. Whatever. There have been reported dev kits floating around for a while now already and I think most people who follow gaming have simply assumed that the next gen systems exist, revealing them is just a mere formality at this point. This is why I don't think it's a completely out-of-left-field idea that we'll see both the PS4 and Nextbox revealed and released in 2013. The logic is fairly simple; Sony's already overdue on their traditional new-console release schedule, Microsoft probably wants a fresh crack at releasing a stable new system, and neither Sony or Microsoft are going to let Nintendo have a two-holiday head start on them.
5- Tomb Raider will be completely forgotten by May
This is a pretty to the point prediction. Like DmC
, Tomb Raider
has been another fairly controversial reboot. Like DmC
, I'm predicting this reboot will ultimately be a soft fart in the wind as well. Now, unlike DmC
, this isn't really going to be due to it being in a genre that is relatively niche or due to it being surrounded by other more desirable titles. I think Tomb Raider
is going to be ultimately forgotten because, well, it honestly doesn't look like anything memorable. Yeah I'm basing this prediction purely off my own opinion, but the amount of “meh” I see coming off of Tomb Raider
alone is worth me mentioning. Tomb Raider
looks like it's forgoing a lot of what made Tomb Raider
a known title in an attempt to be Uncharted With Tits
. Yeah, I know some of you will scroll down to the comments and immediately go “blah blah Tomb Raider
is older than Uncharted
blah blah”. But c'mon, it's not hard to see that there's a substantial Uncharted
influence going on with this game. In the big picture, I have a feeling that if someone wants an Uncharted
game they'll lean more for Uncharted
instead of a mammary gland counterpart.
Have a happy New Year everybody! If you drink, be responsible about it and either arrange for a ride home or find a place to crash for the night. Don't be one of those dumbasses on the road, nobody likes that guy so don't be that guy.
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