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LONG BLOG

Game Blamers: BREAKIN' THE LAW!

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Well, not LITERALLY breaking the law, however, one can draw a correlation between what they do and what the "McDonalds made me fat." criers did - which is now illegal.

In 2004-2005, a couple of pudgy 'gals brought a lawsuit upon the greasy desktop of McDonald's Corp. The reason? They claimed that their immense consumption of McDonald's food made them obese and that - and this is the kicker - this was McDonald's fault.

...And they were in their lawlsuitz, seekin' some damagez!

Much to the lulz of everyone sitting ring-side, we all knew this was a completely bogus charge because it isn't someone else's fault that they asked "I CAN HAZ CHEEZBURGER?!" one too many times. And everyone else involved knew it was bogus too, including the Supreme Court where the trial eventually ended up.


The final ruling was that Pudge Queen and Pudgerella McDonald (no relation to McDonald's Corp.) were at fault for being obese. McDonald's was not guilty of "Fattery in the 3rd Degree".

This resulted in Bill #H.R.554 of the 109th Congressional Congress. The "Cheeseburger Bill". Which stated that - essentially - no one could sue a corporation for making them fat because it was their own damn fault.

IMAGINE THAT! Responsible for their own actions, which were done all by their lonesome, how can this be?!

When I heard about this in 2005, I also heard about the nefarious actions of Mr. Jack Thompson - Attorney at Lawlz. He and other nay-sayers were berating my favorite pass-time by saying that if I were to partake in said pass-time (gaming), that I would go on a violent shooting rampage, killing everyone in my path, screwing hookers, snorting coke and then finally, offing myself with a chain-saw rifle.

Since I have been playing GTA since I was 11 or 12, this was hilarious to me, because the thought of committing a school-shooting had never even crossed my mind. Not once.

So what is my point in all this? My point is this: You cannot blame game developers, publishers, programmers, animators, marketers, or even the janitor's in a developer's offices for the latest psychotic loony-toon child that goes on a shooting rampage and just HAPPENED to have played a violent video game.

Just like with the "Cheeseburger Bill", I am suggesting that the legality of suing a person or corporation for some kid going crazy and offing people should seriously be questioned in court someday, and when (not if, when) it is found that this is baseless, it should be made illegal; just like suing McDonald's for making you a fatty.

Furthermore, what the hell?! We see more violent things on TV than we do in video games, and they don't say "Clearly this child watched too much American Idol.", now do they! No, they do not! But I'll be damned if American Idol doesn't make me want to off people more than COD4 does. Ugh, hate that show. Simon Cowell is such a douche.

Now, CAN I HAZ CHEZEBURGER, pl0z?!

This technically is my first blog. How did I do?

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About Schmo0zleone of us since 2:49 PM on 01.18.2008