In a post last week, I issued a daunting challenge to all PC owners. Specifically users of Internet (Or [insert poorly thought out insult here]). I merely proclaimed that I am the greatest iSketch player in this here parts of Destructoid. This new post is not meant to be a retraction, if that's what you're expecting, I wouldn't hold your breath. This is merely to remind all you PC owners who don't own a Mac and are not lucky enough to be playing Jeopardy! Deluxe (I just happened to pick mine up and just Alex Trebek alone is glorious!), that tonight you can try to take out your frustration on this here Apple enthusiast, me, in iSketch.
Mind you this is no easy task but you do have two things in your favor:
1. I have contracted a venereal disease. A bad one actually that has rendered me even more awkward than usual.
2. I broke my headset giving myself fellatio. Hence my e
pic shit-talking arsenal will not be in use to anger and distract from your game. Trust me, this right here is a blessing in disguise, as I sound like Dora the Explorer. Swiper no swiping.
This will be your future. Crying like a bitch, when I'm done with you.
But please don't think those things will cripple my game as I intend to bring it and crush all who oppose me. My shit-talking I will post in a future blog for all to read and ridicule the losing players, as I will be laughing at the lack of skillz (with a "z") I'm quite sure I'll come across if any PC players show up. Before you crybabies start telling me:
"Oh, but Riser, it's hard to draw with a mouse WHAT'S HAPPENING?!" excuse, all I have to say is I manage quite well. Perhaps it is not the mouse that is garbage but your artistic ability (OH DANG I FUCKING WENT THERE DUDE DID YOU READ THAT SHIT?!).
Any brave or stupid challengers who wish to wipe the
smug grin off my face can do so @ 8PM ESTizzle. 3 ROUND MATCHES FO SHO. For about an hour or two should suffice. Should I see that there will be a need for an additional host I believe White Power Bill has volunteered for duty as one.
This is your opportunity to kick my ass gentlemen. To shut this "labeled" Apple Fanboy up once and for all. Are you man enough to? Because I'm man enough to. Seriously. I'm not compensating for anything.
Interested parties leave your information. I will throughout the day send GTalk messages containing images of my lower region. As well as free lessons on how to wash your eyes out later in the evening.