I have to speak up folks and make sure people don't make a horrible decision. A life altering decision that you can't take back. Something that could ruin you. Obviously I'm talking about Siege. Don't buy it folks
We've all heard from our resident Siege pusher about how awesome this filth is. I'm here to tell you not to follow this falsoe profit. This fear mongerer of tactical shooters. Sure he might make it sound great but I'm here to warn you about what buying this game really entails.
First off it's a total waste of money. Just think of all the great things you could get with that money instead if something like Siege. You could get yourself a Lithuanian prostitute! Now that's something that's fun for the whole family! You know grandma's been asking for something new and exciting for years. And you know what's new and exciting? A Lithuanian hooker...not Siege
Another reason not to buy Siege, what that one who will remain nameless doesn't tell you is that for every copy of Siege that is bought, a seal gets clubbed. No one wants that do they? Nope. Unless you're a horrible Siege player. Don't support seal clubbing folks.
What I'm about to tell you is absolutely 100% true. No lies. If you play Siege, say good bye to erections. That's right, no more erections folks. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Charlton Heston has had a raging hard on for then past 78 years....non stop. And you want to know why? Because he doesn't play Siege, that's why. Call me crazy, but that's something I'm all about.
Now don't get me wrong. The serpent tongued here may make Siege sound amazing and I'll admit I've been tempted to partake. But you know what folks, whenever you get that urge to play Siege, just take a ten pound weight and drop it on your groin. It may hurt at first, but trust me it'll be way less painful than playing Siege for any period of time.
You know what else peeps...Siege is a gateway game! This is still hard for me to talk about, but I had a cousin that played Siege. Played it a couple times and got hooked but then need more. You know where he is now? Oh he's in the Taco Bell parking lot giving out handies for just one more life in Candy Crush! To think, this could've been avoided if he just didn't play Siege.
Now I'm not saying this is for sure, but I know some people. Horrible people. People that played Siege and right after they played...anal leakage! I've heard rumors that Siege and Fruit of the Loom are in cohoots. Trying to get people to buy more underwear. Sounds legit to me folks. Damn underwear companies and their shady Sieging!
I don't like telling you all this, but it had to be said. I love you all and needed you to know some hard truths. Don't play Siege. Be a real human and watch big tittied tentacle anime or play a real game like Final Fantasy 12. You're welcome!