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10 things you most assuredly don't know about me


Yeah, I know, I used this in the recaps. I just want to get some more mileage out of it. How often do you get to post a digitally altered movie poster for a re-imagined Shakespeare play on a videogame blog?

When I saw SilverDragon's challenge to the community, I thought it was a great idea. Little did I know that within 48 hours there'd be nearly 200 blogs on the subject from community members both new and old, well known and obscure. This was my first real challenge as a recapper-- the aftermath of the Hugstorm last month was child's play in comparison.

As I said in the recap, I've learned a lot from reading the various 10 things posts, both about individuals and the collective hivemind that is the community. And in every case, I have been favorably impressed by what people have been willing to share about themselves. It's amazing what you can learn if you're willing to give a little of yourself first. My hat is off to SilverDragon for suggesting this.

The reason I say you most assuredly don't know this is because I've never revealed most of these things outside my family. I'm not an exhibitionist; I'm an intense introvert. I'll go into that more later. This is one of the harder things I've ever written.

1.) I'm a procrastinator. If I don't have a deadline looming overhead, I have great difficulty forcing motivation upon myself. It's a habit I'm trying to break myself of, but success has been... elusive. I do feel that except in very specific situations it's better to do something right and late than on-time and poorly or not at all. It's not something I'm proud of, and I rank lack of timeliness high on my list of character flaws.

2.) I'm an Eagle Scout and have been for nearly half my life now. I was fascinated to see that so many others on Destructoid share this accomplishment-- BSA statistics say that less than 1% of the boys who enter scouting finish by earning their Eagle rank.

3.) I've never been officially diagnosed, but I exhibit every symptom of Social Anxiety Disorder. I've seen lots of people saying they're shy or introverted, but I find it hard to believe they're as socially inept as I can be. I tend to be very careful about what I reveal about myself, on or offline. Making this post is absolutely terrifying to me, and the only reason I'm even considering it is the cloak of anonymity my avatar affords me. I like to keep my lives on and offline as separate as possible, but lately I've been trying to blur the line, to break out of my shell a little. Results have been positive so far, but I'd like to do more. I've been to PAX the last two years, but apart from the panel, I barely got to meet any of the Destructoid crew. To me, the various editors and even the community members are like celebrities... people who I know a lot about but who don't know (or care) about me. That makes them difficult to approach. I'm making slow progress... I signed up for Facebook this year and although I haven't added many people, a couple of those on my sparse friends list are from Destructoid.

4.) Perhaps because of my tendency not to reach out to new people, I am exceptionally loyal to the friends I do have. I still hang out with several of the friends I met in high school more than 10 years ago. I like helping my friends, in whatever way I can... this extends to virtual realms as well as the physical. Sometimes I promise too much and end up letting someone down because I've overestimated what I can reasonably accomplish.

5.) Between work and going to school part time, my schedule just plain sucks. I work nights and Saturday, and I have to get up early for class 5 days a week and then stay at work until pretty late at night. I wish I'd been able to finish my degree back when everyone around me was getting theirs. Thank God I don't have anyone living with me to subject to my crazy hours. It's very hard to plan anything and my social life is limited to whatever I can cram into the few hours that mesh with normal people's schedules. Unfortunately this means I miss out on all the community events like Friday Night Fights, TFTuesdays... I'm even at work when the Destructoid podcasts are being recorded, so I can't make the show posts. It's rough, but in this economy I feel fortunate enough just to HAVE a job, so I don't complain too loudly. Anymore.

6.) I haven't been a gamer all my life. My brother and I bought a Nintendo Entertainment System with our own money in 1988. My parents HATED that we spent so much time on it, and I'm sure the screaming and shoving matches that resulted from adversarial games of Double Dragon and Super Mario Bros. 3's battle mode didn't help matters. We weren't allowed to buy a 16 or 32 bit console when those eventually came out. By the time I was on my own enough to defy their authority, it was the late 32 bit era and the first console I bought again with my own money was the N64. I feel as though I lapsed and have returned... and I've been doing my damndest to catch up on everything I missed during those years ever since.

7.) Even though we weren't allowed to buy consoles, that didn't stop us both from getting Gameboys. I am what you might charitably call a Pokemon addict. Less charitably, you might call me completely f***ing insane. In the portable series, I've logged over 2,000 hours. Over 600 of that is on my copy of Diamond, where I've managed to flesh out a completely full National Pokedex with all 493 legitimately obtainable pokemon, legitimately obtained, and IN F***ING ORDER. From Bulbasaur to Darkrai. That's one of my proudest gaming accomplishments-- and I still play for a few minutes each night before I go to bed. I've been thinking it might be fun to set up a Destructoid Pokemon tournament... there seem to be a lot of folks here who share my obsession with electronic cockfighting.

8.) My avatar name came from EverQuest. I started that game making a pretty little girl character on the theory that all the horny 13 year old boys playing the game would shower me with loot and free powerleveling. I was stumped when it came time to pick a name though, so I used the random name generator for my High Elf Paladin. I flipped through a few: Faylani, Tradenal, and the like... and the stars aligned when the generator came up with Qalamari. I remember saying to myself, out loud, "That's too stupid NOT to use." My use of the Blooper enemy from Super Mario Bros. as my avatar was a natural extension. What's more, I've had something of a soft spot for squid ever since. In all honesty, it's been a great character name. Even in a fantasy setting not too many people start their names with a "Q," so one letter in the chatbox or through the headset can get my attention. To the best of my knowledge, no one else shares this unique name.

Ok, fine, I won't abbreviate it. Baby.

9.) I don't drink, smoke or ingest illicit substances. Partly because I don't like the taste, partly because I'm a control freak and don't like the idea of having something removing my inhibitions. I'm not judgemental about it, and I will have a drink socially from time to time. As long as you're not affecting anyone else, I don't have a problem with whatever you want to sniff, shoot, snort, lick, or rub into your belly. Just don't ask ME to try it.

10.) I am the quintessential lurker. I read and listen a ton more than I post. I know a lot more about this community than most members (I think) but partly due to my schedule I have a hard time keeping up on anything other than the Cblogs. Part of the reason I volunteered to help out with the Cblog recaps is because I hope it will allow me to get my name out there a little more, test the waters as it were. The rest of the reason is that I can't adequately express how much I enjoy this community and its in-your-face call-it-like-it-is attitude, which I respect greatly. Volunteering is one way I saw I could give something back.

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About Kevin McCluskyone of us since 5:34 AM on 02.16.2007

I'm a longtime member of Destructoid, and you may have known me in a prior life as Qalamari.
In other words, hi. I've been here a long time. There's a good chance I'm older than you.

I write freelance articles for other publications, so you might see my name elsewhere occasionally.
Disclosure: I wrote a paid testimonial for the Speedify VPN service in April 2017.

Here are some things I like.

May want to stay out of the old stuff. I really didn't know what I was doing when I started here.

Like most other Dtoiders I am male, 15 to 30 something, introverted to the point of social ineptitude, and grew up obsessing over videogames, somewhat to the chagrin of my parents. I am a moderately slavering Nintendo fan because-- let's be fair... they were easily the biggest influence in my formative years. Because of this, it is my belief that Smash Bros. was created specifically for me. The fact that the rest of you may enjoy it is merely coincidence.

I was interviewed, once.

I used to be the Cblog Recapper for Mondays. It was a good run.

Beyamor's avatar fathered mine's love child at PAX East. It's ok though, 'cuz he gave me a picture of a Kirby as child support. Cheap bastard...

I inspired a song. (Thanks, Alphadeus!)

You can reach me on twitter @Qalamari, and that's my handle pretty much everywhere. You can also reach me at [email protected]
Xbox LIVE:Qalamari
PSN ID:Qalamari
Steam ID:Qalamari
Mii code:5015 7633 5088 2932


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