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PwnyBownz

Unpublished Confessions From The Meat Bible

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LONG BLOG

CONFIRMED: I'm more hardcore than you.

   0




Please answer these questions with either a yes or a no.

In middle school, did the ones you hated most call your house at odd hours for video game tips while acting like you were best friends - not someone who earlier that day punched you as hard as they could in the throat for absolutely no reason?

Speaking of the throat punchers in middle school, did you ever in a moment of raw desperation walk a couple miles to a throat punchers house and straight faced ask them to borrow Metroid (or any other much sought after game)?

Did you ever call out a larger black kid for licking his fingers to play track and field?

Have you ever snuck out of your house, invaded a persons yard, and skulked next to an open window just so you could listen to Super Mario 2 being played?

Did you ever have a birthday party at Chuck-e-Cheese and then spend all your birthday money on Dragon's Lair?

Did the thought of paying Wizards and Warriors for the NES make you excited?

Have you ever in your life paid your best friend 5 dollars to borrow his copy of the first issue of Nintendo Power and photocopy every page for yourself?

Have you ever taken a Christmas gift you knew was a game, did some spy shit to open it - leaving no traces, take the disc, cartridge or hu-card out, rewrapped it and put it back under the tree then pretend to be really excited Christmas day even though you already beat the game which you've been playing all night?

Have you ever called a game shop several times a week and ask them to list what Sega master system games they had just to hear someone speak the titles out loud?

Did you ever choose Sega over Nintendo?

Did you ever call up the Sega tip line and have them send you tips for games you didn't own?

Have you ever stolen change from a parents change jar, knowing you would catch a beating, just to play the Play Choice 10 at Winn Dixie, specifically Rygar and Metroid?

Have you ever pretended to be a cripple's friend because his parents bought him all the games?

Did the sex scene in Golgo 13 arouse you?

Have you ever paid a classmate to buy you cheap Nintendo games from a crackhead?

And finally, did you ever stand behind someone while they were at their locker, memorize their combination, then later sneak out of class and steal their copy of the first Nintendo Strategy guide?

If you answered no to any of these questions then you are not as hardcore as me. If you answered yes to all questions, a time in the near future should be scheduled when we will fight to the death to determine true hardcoreness.

But for Cerealness, I'd like to hear about your most humiliating and shameful gaming moments. I was fucked up about games in my early teens. I'm wondering if it was just me..
Consider it research for a book. Help me out.
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About PwnyBownzone of us since 7:49 AM on 06.12.2007

 



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