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My true predictions for the Xbox reveal thing.

So Microsoft finally came out and announced that they are set to reveal the successor to the greatest gaming thing of all time, the Xbox 360. The new console, rumored to be titled Xbox 8, will be unveiled at a special press event in Redmond, Washington, on the 21st of May. Now there's been a lot of speculation surrounding next-box, so I'm going to do my very best to sort the reasonable from the implausible and bring you an unbiased and incredibly accurate vision of the future. My predictions for the event are as follows:

1. Kinect 2.0 will be shown.

It's well established that everyone loves Kinect, so why wouldn't Microsoft release an improved version of the popular peripheral? Rumors suggest that Kinect 2.0 will be able to identify race and whether or not you're holding a glass of 7up. It will also likely ship with the console this time instead of being sold separately as everyone will want to use it all the time.

2. The console will actually be there.

Sony took some flak for not actually revealing the PS4 at the BIG PS4 REVEAL, so expect Microsoft to learn from their mistake. The Xbox 8 probably won't be too dissimilar to the 360 in terms of design, but rumors suggest that the face of beloved actor Guy Pearce will be embossed in the side of the console to appeal to the youths.

3. A few games will be shown.

If Microsoft has any plans to reveal a new IP, they'll likely wait until E3 to do so, but I think it's safe to assume we'll see a trailer or two. We'll likely get a glimpse of Halo 5 and possibly a new Gears. Expect some third-party stuff too, like Watch Dogs. Just can't get enough of that Watch Dogs.

4. The console will not require an always-on connection but would prefer it.

I really don't believe Microsoft are stupid enough to impose an always-on restriction on us, especially when Sony have confirmed that they won't. However, I do believe that those of us who are not always-on will be punished by way of an image of Tony Danza flashing up on the screen every two minutes accompanied by the sound of him scolding Angela from Who's the Boss.

5. Like the Xbox 360, the Xbox 8 will feature backwards compatibility, but only for certain games.

The following is a list of Xbox 360 games compatible with the Xbox 8:



Crackdown 2

6. Microsoft will end the show by resurrecting Peter Falk.

What better way to cement the Xbox 8 in the minds of consumers, than to resurrect legendary actor Peter Falk live on stage? It's been rumored that Microsoft has been experimenting with black magic since early 2011, so I think this is pretty much guaranteed.

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About PhantomTommyone of us since 8:39 AM on 04.25.2013

I am a 23 year old thing who likes Kelsey Grammer and sometimes video games. Please read the shit I write.