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10 Riveting Things About Paradox Me

Hi there. You may know me as that guy you don't know, or as an argumentative jerk in the front page comments that annoys the crap out of you. Everyone else seems to be doing one of these, so I thought I'd give it a try. Better late than never (or not).

I have long, pretty red hair

Exactly like this, but red.

Your concept of masculinity is stupid. Men deserve to wear long, flowing locks just as much as women, and I do. I go to great lengths and spend more money than I probably should to ensure that it's silky and well taken care of, because there's no excuse for walking around with a bird's nest on your head. As sad as it may be, I put more effort into it than any other aspect of my person.

I don't drink

I'm not sure why, but it's a decision I made way back in high school. No, I don't think I'm better than you (stop asking, geez), and if you can handle your shit then I really don't care what you do. Except drugs. Just thinking about that stuff makes me incredibly uncomfortable.

Considering my diet, lack of exercise and certain health issues, no alcohol has probably done me a world of good.

Anxiety's a bitch

This and depression seem to be pretty common among Dtoiders, judging by others' blogs, and they're every bit as horrible as they've previously been described. I'm lucky in that my anxiety hasn't kept me from enjoying life, although it takes every opportunity to try. Everyday things that most people do without thinking have proven to be hurdles. I'm worried about looking silly while mowing the lawn, pumping gas, checking out at a store, etc., and it kept me from getting my driver's license until I was 22.

When it comes to talking face-to-face, I can usually get by looking something like a normal, well-adjusted person. Formal situations are where I run into trouble—job interviews and professional settings are an absolute nightmare. Phone calls, video/voice chat and so on are also difficult. I've always said that I didn't like multiplayer gaming, but I'm just too nervous to join games and talk and play with people.

On the whole, I think I hide it well. Most people would never know, and those that do haven't said anything.

I would like to be an animator..

..but I have no plans to pursue that dream. I was okay at art when I was younger, but it's not a skill that's improved with age. No amount of practice has ever shown any real improvement and I'm reaching a point where I have to find something realistic to fall back on. Nursing is looking more and more like that thing, but I'll always have an immense appreciation for animation, even if I won't be the next Osamu Tezuka, Hayao Miyazaki, Satoshi Kon or Walt Disney.

I burnt a hole in our floor trying to make pancakes

I was home alone while my parents and brother were out shopping. It was around supper time and I was getting hungry, so I decided I'd make myself some pancakes. I wasn't completely sure how to make pancakes. After mixing what was in my mind batter, I poured it all into a big pan that was on the highest heat setting. It quickly formed something that was in no way a pancake and started smoking, so I panicked, went to throw it away and toss the pan in the sink. However, the sink was full, and in a moment of genius I just set the pan on the carpeted floor, which instantly melted through to the hardwood floor and burnt it. After a call telling me that they'd be home soon, I took a rug from another room and put it over the hole. Playing it off like nothing happened, my parents quickly realized that there had never been a rug in that spot in the 50 years our family owned the house. They had tile installed that Summer.

There is often a cat in my ceiling

Actual cat in ceiling.

I don't know what he does up there.

I love baseball, but neither play nor watch it

I'm not a sports person. I've never really watched sports, only casually played basketball growing up and go golfing with my dad and brother once or twice a year. Otherwise, I just don't really care about any of it.

Baseball is the exception. Something about the game itself, its history and the people who have played it just speaks to me. I realized this much too late for Little League, and watching any sport on TV bores me to tears. Going to games is the only way I'd care to experience MLB, and that's not an option for me. That just leaves baseball movies, which lend themselves perfectly to my romanticized view of the game.

Mega Man Legends 2 is my best gaming find so far

I found it at a local shop for $12 a while back, and I guess it goes for around $100 now. That shop went out of business not too long ago. Coincidence?

I once had a promising future as a mangaka

I was obsessed with Hamtaro back when it first aired on Cartoon Network. At one point I convinced myself that I could make a successful comic book by tracing Hamtaro art and writing my own dialogue.

I couldn't think of a 10th thing
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About Paradox meone of us since 2:04 AM on 07.24.2013

I play video games and they are pretty cool I guess. Unhealthy obsession with Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest and The Legend of Zelda. I will annoy you by talking about these things in excess.