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Destructoid Review: Destructoid: teh website.


www.Destrctoid.com (Internet)
Developed by Mr. Destructoid
Published by Mr. Destructoid
Released on March, 2006

Nathan "PappaDukes" Kleewein

Over the past 20+ years, I have been hip to this crazy train called the interwebnet. Or, internet, to the lay-people. I have surfed far and wide, and have ridden some pretty crazy "waves" over the years. But none have been as crazy as the "dtoid wave". dtoid? wut's that!? Come ON! You're riding it as we speak, baby. Just enjoy it.
So now, sit back and enjoy my impressions of the little website that could; and if you don't enjoy this then STFUJPG!

More after the jump...

*cosmic jump*

When I first happened upon the "internet" back in the BBS days, I was but a wee pup in a vast land of bulletin board madness. I would dial random numbers in hopes that I could quench my insatiable thirst for game reviews, news, and all-around madcappery. For years, this thirst went un-quenched, and my 28.8 kbit/s modem was pushed to the limits. I was lost, delirious and incredibly horny. So game reviews, news and madcappery had to take a back seat to the budding feelings that were emanating from deep withing my loins.

Skip ahead several years, and many a porn website later, to bring us comfortably to the year 2006. The future. And what does one expect from the future besides flying cars and hoverboards (thank you very much Michael J. Fox! You crushed a young boy's heart...)? Well, not a whole lot.

The internet has officially exploded into a wasteland of blog-this and digg-that. I was disgusted with the filth that passed as, what I will coin at this very moment, as "web-worthy". If it wasn't about video games or naked chicks, it was wasting my time, energy, and time. Freaks like Perez Hilton and Paris Hilton were enough to make me run virus scans on a daily basis just to keep my fragile motherboard pristine.
Sure, there were gaming sites galore. It was truly a golden-age for me. For the first time in my life, I was actually having to filter through porn site after porn site after porn site in order to find what I had always been looking for.

One day, the search ended, and I stumbled upon a website called "Destructoid". For some strange reason, I don't even remember how I got here. I honestly think it just "appeared". I know, it sounds "ridiculous", and you're all thinking I'm "crazy". Well, maybe I am. But don't you try and change the subject! I've got a one-track mind, and I came here to speak my mind. Wait, where was I? Crazy; right.

The only thing I do remember from this first epic encounter was that I read an article by some guy named Jim Sterling. It was both awesome, and hilarious.
The overall look of the site was raw. You could tell that this site was virtually a baby. Just barely able to walk. Stumbling around from post to post fighting to make it with the big boys. I was captivated. I new from that very first Jim Sterling post that I would never need another gaming website again. Period.

There wasn't much happening other than posts at that time. We didn't have leaderboards, or the c-blogs. Just raw, unadulterated gaming news, reviews and yes, finally, the madcappery I had been so deprived of with past "gaming" sites.
I must admit that I must have hit F-5 on my keyboard about 1,000 times that day. As I worked I would just leave the browser open, and then refresh. Anything new!? Damn...refresh. OOOOH, new post! And from Ron! GOLD!
And I am also proud to admit that our network administrator has actually blocked Destructoid because I apparently visit so much (God bless proxy servers and Firefox!!!).

Obviously, over the months that followed. The man behind it all, the mysterious Niero aka, Mr. Destructoid, was busily making changes to an already epic site, and admittedly, for the better. While I was truly frightened at first, I learned that all the enhancements, and down-time was absolutely worth it. While I was content with the simplicity of the early days of dtoid, the fresh new look(s) and the overall feel of the site kept me coming back even more. Hell, most days at work I would never even leave. And now, with the addition of the "c-blogs", and rankings, and leaderboards, I'm hooked for life.

Honestly, there are no other gaming sites that compare. I don't even think about buying a game anymore until it is reviewed on Destructoid as they are the most honest you are going to find anywhere on the internets, hands-down. Unless, of course, it's reviewed by the infamous Rev Ant ;-) (he is such a smarmy bastard!).

Jesus, Mary and Joseph. I forgot this was a review, and really must get back to work. So I am going to make this short, and sweet. Destructoid, while being in my opinion, the most definitive gaming website around, it still has it's minor flaws. Little site navigation hiccups here and there that keep me harshly cursing the gods, and the fact that my rank sucks balls is a HUGE issue as well. Oh, and not nearly enough posts after 5:00 PM MST (seriously Niero, crack the whip. I need news 24/7!).
But seriously, best website ever.

Score: 9.9

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About PappaDukesone of us since 2:40 PM on 03.14.2007

Video games I have played:
Hahahahaha! Seriously? A TON! I've been playing video games for over 20 years. I'll narrow it down for you. Here is a comprehensive list of games I HAVEN'T played:
Any Pokemon game ever made. I haven't played it, nor will I ever.

Video games I am currently playing:
Star Wars: The Old Republic (PC)
Far Cry 3 (PS3)
Rage (PC)
Darksiders (PC)
ZombiU (WiiU)
Darksiders 2 (wiiU)

I'm big into SNES emulators, so A LOT of classic RPGs (Breath of Fire II, Final Fantasy VI, Dragon Warrior V, Phantasy Star II, etc.)

Video games I have recently destroyed
Far Cry 3 (PS3)
Dead Space 3 (PS3)
Tomb Raider (PS3)
Papo & Yo (PS3)
Torchlight II (PC)
inFamous 2 (PS3)
Sleeping Dogs (PC)
Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning (PS3)
The Walking Dead (PS3)
    -Episode 1
    -Episode 2
    -Episode 3
    -Episode 4
    -Episode 5
Mass Effect 3 (PS3)
Mass Effect 2 (PS3)
Journey (PSN)
Uncharted: Golden Abyss (Vita)
The Simpsons Arcade (PSN)
The Binding of Isaac (PC)
Alice: Madness Returns (PS3)
Uncharted 3 (PS3)
Plants Vs. Zombies (PSN)
Metroid: Other M (Wii)
Stacking (PS3)
Sam & Max Episode 102: Situation Comedy (PC)
Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time (PS3)
Sam & Max Episode 101: Culture Shock (PC)
Back to the Future: The Game - Episode 5 (PC)
Back to the Future: The Game - Episode 4 (PC)
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow (PS3)
Back to the Future: The Game - Episode 3 (PC)
Magic: The Gathering - Duels of the Planeswalkers (PSN)
Limbo (PSN)
Back to the Future: The Game - Episode 2 (PC)
L.A. Noire (PS3)
Tom Clancy's Ghost Recon: Shadow Wars (3DS)
Dragon Age: Origins (PS3)
     -Warden's Keep (DLC)
     -The Stone Prisoner (DLC)
     -Return to Ostagar (DLC)
     -Awakening (DLC)
Dragon Age II (PS3)
     -The Exiled Prince (DLC)
     -Legacy (DLC)
     -Mark of the Assassin (DLC)
Final Fantasy XIII (PS3)
DeathSpank: Thongs of Virtue (PS3)
DeathSpank (PS3)
Dead Space 2 (PS3)
Back to the Future: The Game - Episode 1 (PC)
Costume Quest (PS3)
     -Costume Quest: Briggins on Ice (DLC)
Enslaved (PS3)
     -Pigsy's Perfect 10 (DLC)
Rock Band 3 (PS3)
Fallout 3 (PS3)
     -Broken Steel (DLC)
Mass Effect 2 (PC)
Batman: Arkham Asylum (PS3)
inFamous (PS3)
Red Dead Redemption (PS3)
God of War III (PS3)
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (DS)
Borderlands (PS3)
     -Borderlands: The Zombie Island of Dr. Ned (DLC)
Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story (DS)
Ratchet & Clank: Quest for Booty (PSN)
Uncharted 2 (PS3)
God of War II (PS2)
Final Fantasy X (PS2)
Kingdom Hearts II (PS2)
God of war (PS2)
Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time (DS)
Dragon Quest IV (DS)
Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass (DS)
Resident Evil 5 (PS3)
Final Fantasy IV (DS)
Earthbound (I know, I'm late to the party, and everyone's already drunk) (SNES)
Viking: Battle for Asgard (PS3)
Dead Space (PS3)
Guitar Hero III (Wii, PS3)
MGS 4 (PS3)
Super Paper Mario (Wii)
Mario Galaxy (Wii)

Video games I like to play:
I'll pretty much play anything that will hold my interest. But primarily I am into action/adventure and RPG's. I am a SUCKER for a classic RPG.

Miscellaneous Shit:

PSN ID:PappaDukesXD
3DS Code:3995-6613-8033


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