I just got back from seeing Transformers.
/gets on knees
Mr. Michael Bay sir, please forgive me. I was wrong, way wrong. I had second guessed everything I saw. I believed that there was no way it could be done. Especially by you.
After sitting through The Rock, Armageddon, Bad Boys I and II, and thinking, "What the fuck is wrong with this guy? Why all the big explosions and nonsense plots?" I've determined that you weren't meant to direct humans at all. And you weren't meant to direct action movies. Clearly from your past, with Pearl Harbor's stilted dialogue, you were meant to direct robots. And not just robots in an action movie, robots in a war movie.
I just watched your movie and not only had chills up my spine the whole fucking time, I cried.
I hate you with the intensity I haven't shown since my sister was 6 years old and broke Megatron on the very first day I got him, Christmas day. But, despite all this bitter hatred for what you've done in the past, I want another Transformers movie. NOW. I want total fucking robot war. This movie was a taste of what is in store for the second film and I don't want you working on anything else until the second chapter of this series is in theaters.
My fellow D'toid posters will stand behind me and will come to realize over the next week that this was your proving ground to us. That you are not all machismo, balls, and ham-fisted lines. You are an artiste who was without a canvas to paint on. The Transformers are that canvas.