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The things I love

Also: Adventure Time.

1. I love Kane & Lynch... both parts!

How do you solve ANY problem? Bullet to the face.

I said this before already, but I really do like those games. Don't get me wrong, they're not exceptionally great. They don't bring anything new to the table (albeit the MP for part 2 was really fucking neato in theory). But I just love them. I like Kane and Lynch as protagonists (sadly they dialed Lynch down for part 2) and I like the world they apparently live in. A world without any form of remorse or compassion where you live by the gun and die by the gun. It's dark, it's gritty, it's dirty and it's brutal. And I love it for that.
I also especially like the "raw" art style part 2 introduced, even though apparently everybody else hated it to death. I really like the cheap handycam optics. Yeah, alright, what should be a grand finale was a sad little whimper, but the game was still pretty decent. At least it did nothing wrong. And only fucking casuals cry about getting hit sometimes while being in cover. Boohoo, go home CoD boyz!

2. Call Of Duty - SINGLEPLAYER (dam dam daaam)

Oh Ghost. Did you ever know that you're my hero?

Well... at least the Modern Warfare trilogy. Now I know that this thing sold like sliced bread and was high regarded in some ways. But I just really played CoD only for the campaign. And I liked them. MW3 was a bit weak, but part 1 and 2 were really good games. The stories were at least pretty decent, I always like to call it the poor man's Tom Clancy. Makarov was a hell of charismatic evil guy and sadly completely underused but the Hans Zimmer soundtrack in part 2 goes especially well with some scenes you see.
I actually don't really know anybody else who liked or even played the CoD campaigns, but I just don't give a fuck about the MP in there. Most of all MW2 was just put so damn well together it's pure fucking magic. They way everything is staged, like perfect little cogs that work together, is just amazing. Yeah, it's scripted. Yeah, it's linear. But is still absolutely masterful. Being on a small roof, holding out against troops that just keep coming while a whole orchestra is putting pressure on your ears still gives me the chills, especially when you seem to fail the mission and your colleague yells "Rocket in the air! Code Black! CODE BLACK!" into the microphone. As with K&L the finale is a bit weak, but fuck it. Greatest single player campaigns for an ego shooter I had in a long time.

3. The german language

That pretty much sums it up.

Nobody likes the german language except a few retards and I'm one of them. Either it's too complicated (it is) or it just sounds strange (it does) or both. Really, the german language is like a five course menu of the finest meals. It's just not for everybody and it's heavy, but you'll have a good shit afterwards.
Wait, what was I talking about again?

4. Poop

Know your shit!

Shit is my one and only nonsexual fetish. That's all.

5. Zombies

The world is against me. It wouldn't be fair otherwise.

Okay, granted, the market has been a bit oversaturated. But really, I'm not sick of the zombie theme itself. There have been so very few good games with that setting and just a million one that are either just shit or some puzzle game which has zombie sprites in it for the lulz. But "real" zombie games like Left 4 Dead (2) or Dead Island are far and few between.

6. Dead Island


Yeah, the game has it's weaknesses. But really, I like it for some reason. I said it in another blog before, but Dead Island is most likely the closest thing I'll ever get to my dream game. I like the mixtures of the dangers here, because you fight both zombies and humans I find it interesting that the game is not only melee focused, but that guns are also somewhat inferior against the undead. Overall I just enjoyed the game.

7. the DToid forums

I really don't know where the reputation the place has comes from. Maybe it changed so much in the past? But really, the forums are a great place. Yes, the general tone is a bit rougher. But when you can deal with that it's a great place to kick back and talk about games. The great thing is however that you also can have serious discussions. The best proof for this is whenever someone from the FP staff shows their mug down there. The thread they post in, usually the Community Discourse thread, switches into serious mode INSTANTLY. If you really think it's just a bunch of shittalkers you're plain and simple wrong and were maybe never loved by your parents.

8. Vanilla Coke

Shut up Tubby, I know this shit is bad for mah gainz!

It's the best Coke on the whole damn world.

9. "Artsy" games

Fart games. He... hehe... get it?

Dear Esther, Dinner Date, Gone Home... I enjoyed all of these games. And yes, they are games. If you say otherwise you're wrong and for some reason so damn bitter that you should be swallowed with a shot of Tequila.
But really, next to games full of action I also enjoy games that are more focused on telling a (short) story and have less interaction. Those games usually do things no other medium could effectively do. Imagine a movie or a book about something raffling through his house and discovering his sister became a lesbian and ran away from home. Say what you want, it would never be as good an experience as when YOU are the one who can raffle through the house and discover all the little pieces yourself, in your own pace. Last but not least: I consider games like this just the final piece of evidence that games are art. And not all art has to be same. Diversity is what makes art so great and I can't stop wishing for more diversity in this regard.

10. Andy Dixon

I know that this is you, Dixon. Don't even deny it.

Just kidding. Nobody hates Andy Dixon.
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About OpiumHerzone of us since 3:54 AM on 04.10.2013

German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.

I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.

Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)
033: Various Games #6
034: Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty
035: Blacks and women
036: Pokemon
037: Left 4 Dead
038: Left 4 Dead 2

039: 2015 Predictions
040: Dying Light
041: Coca-Cola
042: Pillars of Eternity
043: The Order: 1886
044: Mortal Kombat X

Stuff I also wrote and you should read:

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...
~ Gravelord Nito, I love you more than Vanilla Coke
~ Let's clear up the console wars, shall we?

... und Pan spielt die Fl�te.