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LONG BLOG

Gravelord Nito, I love you more than Vanilla Coke

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Salida,
so you might have heard about the triple A mega smash hit game that is Dark Souls. While the universe doesn't really expose much of itself the game has a pretty rich world with a ton of cool lore. Blogs about this have even been frontpaged already. And while this entry even covers the baddest bitch in town, it does not enough. Gravelord Nito, this is my love letter to you. And after it you will love him too. Why you should love him?








1. He has the looks!



Just look at this fucker! He is a skeleton that basically wears a cloak of darkness and, oh, wait... MORE SKELETONS! Yes, you're seeing that right. This guy isn't content with just being basically a huge ass skeleton himself, no. He hangs more skeletons around his neck and walks around like that. Who wouldn't think this is cool? Nobody, that's who.
Also, this dude is ALWAYS smiling. "Oh, but Jim, he doesn't even have a real face to frown." Fuck you! Shut up! He is always smiling. And that is attractive! You can run around in these armor parts that you have pillaged from undead soldiers and sentient trees, you'll NEVER look as cool as this guy. A timeless style.


2. He has the status!



Nito is the first of the dead. We don't really know how or why, but practically this dude pulled a Gandalf. At some point he must have died and then said "You know what, naw. BRB." Now he is legendary in the whole kingdom of Lordran. If you're seen with this dude you will find your photo most likely in any tabloid in the whole kingdom the next day. Who the fuck is Brad Pitt?
Not only that, he even has his own covenant! And you don't get your own covenant that easy, there are only nine in the whole world. But Nito? Nito has his own. If you join you basically start infecting some poor sob's world with black Phantoms.


3. He has the skills!



"Nito unleashed a miasma of death and disease." ~ Dark Souls Intro

Now basically this dude can spread AIDS at will in fog form. He just has to put his hands in the air like he just doesn't care and BAM - AIDS fog everywhere. Of course he can also summon an infinite number of skeleton soldiers and has his big ass sword, but why would you even want to use these ressources when you can just kill any life with some purple fog?


4. He has the personality!



While everything in the whole kingdom and their dogs are so aggressive like our own usedtabe when he doesn't get his roids and try to kill you, Nito is actually the most chill dude around. You know what thiy guy does all day long? Chill out in his fucking coffin. I mean, do you see this asshole here? That's Pinwheel. A total loser, trust me.



So what does Pinwheel do all day? "Science". But because he is such a fucking loser he needed power of Nito for his science. Imagine someone stealing your power by taking a cable and jamming it in your fuse box. That's basically what Pinwheel did.
You know what Nito did then? Fucking NOTHING. He didn't care. He just wanted to chill out. So he kept chilling out. For fuck's sake, he would have most likely just GIVEN you his Lord Soul if you would ask him for it. Nito doesn't care. I mean, god damn it, you even stay in his covenant after you murdered him!


5. He's Nito!


Seriously, this fucker is adorable. You better love him. And while other enemies are cool too, no one was ever so laid back and cool as Nito was.




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About OpiumHerzone of us since 3:54 AM on 04.10.2013

German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.




I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.


Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

---
026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)
033: Various Games #6
034: Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty
035: Blacks and women
036: Pokemon
037: Left 4 Dead
038: Left 4 Dead 2

---
039: 2015 Predictions
040: Dying Light
041: Coca-Cola
042: Pillars of Eternity
043: The Order: 1886
044: Mortal Kombat X


Stuff I also wrote and you should read:
~HOW TO MAKE THE C-BLOGS A BETTER PLACE

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...
~ Gravelord Nito, I love you more than Vanilla Coke
~ Let's clear up the console wars, shall we?




... und Pan spielt die Fl�te.