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Fuck you Gamespot. And fuck you Mr. Capozzoli.


Salida dear readers

I started Dead Rising 3 on PC last friday. While I myself always enjoyed the Dead Rising games immensively, I understood very well why others didn't. The games aren't perfect, not even close and even those things it does kinda well, you are free to dislike, like the constant time limits. That said, so far I've also enjoyed Dead Rising 3 a lot. Then again, it runs pretty well on my PC too.

While I was looking at GameFAQs to find out where I can find one certain item I saw an ad for the Gamespot review. 3/10? Wait, what? I'm curious to read that. So I read that. Which led to the title giving dictum. I have no idea who Nick Capozzoli is, but he most certainly can fuck himself. Not for the rating of the game, mind you. I find some things he critiques and the weight he puts on those things strange, but hey, different strokes. No, what really riled me up was the tone and the flatout lies in some parts of this abomination of a review (which gets shit on pretty hard in the comments too, I might add).

Those parts were about the battles with the so called Psychopaths. A stable since Dead Rising 1, the Psychos were always humans who totally lost it in the zombie apocalypse. They went totally batshit bonkers. A clown who juggled with chainsaws started attacking people, a chef wanted to "get meat" and some others were flatout crazy killers. You get the idea. They've returned in Dead Rising 3 too. And for some reason they apparently ruffled poor Mr. Capozzoli's jimmies harder than... I don't know. Anything.

First off, look at this:

Mhmh, "deeply sexist and mean-spirited overtones". I think it's pretty clear which direction the writer tries to shoot here. I think you all get it. Now let me give you a little background info on this: the woman there is Rhonda, one of the main characters and your companion. You get ambushed by a group of bikers which separate you. Of course those two there go for the "cake", to use Super Mario terms. I want to remind you again: these people are branded as Psychopaths. What happens now in that scene? Well, Rhonda basically kicks so much ass that the two discard the plan to go for the cake pretty quickly again. The first one gets kicked so hard in the balls, literally, that he has to call his buddy for help. After a short pause the two FLEE THE ROOM they disappeared to with Rhonda, because she handed their asses back to them.
... pretty sexist, yeah? That one woman can beat two grown men in self-defense. Wait, no, that's simply a good character kicking the asses of bad dudes. Of course, you don't know that when you don't know the scene itself. I found this pretty bad already, but it only got worse with the second to last paragraph of the review, which was about the Psychopath encounters again.

I'll again just explain the situations here:
- the sexualized policewoman is, again, one of the more major bad guys. She isn't really so much sexualized, as she is more one of those "I get off on death and violence"-characters. Even that shtick isn't nearly played to the maximum. I hope I don't have to remind you that Dead Rising however parodies it's original genre and thus overplays the clichés to the maximum. That said, your playable character pretty clearly is turned off by it all and just wants an USB stick with incriminating data from her, which leads to the fight.
- the female bodybuilder is never "gleefully misgendered". Nick Ramos, your main character, even apologizes vigorous- and repeatedly for the misgender, even more so after he does it a second time. He is clearly very sorry about it. How did the misgender happen in the first place? Well, when first meeting this Psychopath Nick only sees her from behind and she is trained to a muscular state, where you can't differentiate it really (*cough* Roid abuse *cough). And our little Psycho here introduces herself as "Jherii". Pronounced like "Jerry". Throws a bit of a different light on the "gleeful misgender", huh?
- the "bisexual man" has indeed a phallic flamethrower. It even has two balls. One for fire, one with apparently liquid nitrogen for ice attacks. Now how do we know this Psycho who hides in a storage room behind a sex shop is bisexual? Well, because he tied a man and a woman up and apparently abused them already pretty heavily! He also tells Nick basically to bow down and suck his dick if he doesn't want to get killed! But yeah, who needs the information that the guy went rapeshit crazy when you can just say he is bisexual and has a dick flamethrower?
- the one thing we can let slide here is the fight with Zhi (the "chinese man" has a name, you know?). I kinda missed the fact that he apparently IS a chinese monk and thus dressed as one and can be found in a temple, but hey. He is pretty much literally the overexeggeration of the clichés I mentioned earlier. It's already typical in the genre itself and I bet you kinda know how a parody handles clichés.

As I said: I don't get mad about the low score. I don't get mad if someone doesn't like the games I like. You know what, I don't even get mad when you don't have a good reason to not like it. Sometimes a game just doesn't click and that's totally fine, even when you're a reviewer. But for fuck's sake, the shit that's been pulled in this review is the poorest, most despicable attempt for simply badmouthing something in a totally unjustified way I've seen in the past few weeks.
I don't know if this is par for the course with Gamespot, I never followed that site. And this review made damn sure I most likely never will. If THIS is the style of work the site supports, I want no part in it and if this is the style in which Mr. Capozzoli does his work, I hope he is forced into a new business rather sooner than later. Shit like this creates a mood and assumptions many people would describe as "toxic" and I somehow feel right now this is the last thing we need.


PS: the real kicker about this? Of course I couldn't resist to look at this guy's Twitter. And he complained about Polygon's headlines lending the "worst possible interpretation". Way to go. *slow clap*

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About OpiumHerzone of us since 3:54 AM on 04.10.2013

German Blogger, writing the series "The worst thing about censorship is ███████ " (go check it out!) since I like to write about that topic and am invested in it a whole lot. Also writes some other stuff sometimes. Likes to listen to very strange bands and has the ultimate goal in life to taste every soft drink there is at least once.
Pure Gonzo - and while I thank god for Jim Sterling sometimes, I thank god for Hunter S. Thompson every day.

I'm a bastard. Don't trust me. Always keep asking, don let yourself get fed bullshit - not even by me.

I like good games. Yes, that's quite general, but I don't really like confining myself to certain genres. I like interesting approaches, invention and creativity. But I can enjoy a straight-up shooter as much as a "Bastion". It just has to be done well and appeal to me on some level.

Want to know anything else? Just leave a comment under a blog or write a message. Same goes for corrections (please), as English isn't my native language and thus isn't nearly perfect.

Censorship Blogs so far:
001: The System (Part 1)
002: The System (Part 2)
003: The stupid publishers
004: How Germans get uncensored games
005: Bioshock Infinite
006: Call Of Duty
007: Grand Theft Auto
008: Dead Space
009: Manhunt
010: Sniper Elite V2 (again)
011: Fallout
012: Various Games #1
013: Nazis
014: Mortal Kombat 9 on Steam
015: Contra
016: Halo
017: Saints Row
018: All the other stuff
019: Command & Conquer
020: The Lanzarote Convention
021: Various Games #2
022: Half-Life
023: The Legend Of Zelda
024: Various Games #3
025: Various Games #4

026: What system would you prefer
027: South Park - The Stick Of Truth
028: South Park - The Stick Of Truth (Part 2)
029: Various Games #5
030: Wolfenstein
031: Resident Evil (main series)
032: Resident Evil (spin offs)
033: Various Games #6
034: Turning Point: Fall Of Liberty
035: Blacks and women
036: Pokemon
037: Left 4 Dead
038: Left 4 Dead 2

039: 2015 Predictions
040: Dying Light
041: Coca-Cola
042: Pillars of Eternity
043: The Order: 1886
044: Mortal Kombat X

Stuff I also wrote and you should read:

~ Punish the individuals - not the scene they move in
~ My consoles don't fight each other - what's your excuse?
~ But what about the men?
~ Fake gamer girls and the damage they do
~ The Raid On Castle DToid
~ My little guide to german music (NVGR)
~ You should buy Goat Simulator - no, seriously...
~ Gravelord Nito, I love you more than Vanilla Coke
~ Let's clear up the console wars, shall we?

... und Pan spielt die Fl�te.