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The Fall of A Hardcore Gamer

This is another one that's been a long time coming, at least seven months coming, if the date of my initial draft of this is any indication: My relationship to gaming and why I feel like I've fallen from a sort grace that can only be felt through acute fanaticism (the good kind) and years of firsthand experience.

Years later, they're all still just ideas in my head. Some have become more stagnant than others. Some I'm still waiting to be realized by like-minded geniuses that had more breaks cut for them than I did. But none of them would be possible without the escapism video games afforded me. Japanese or Western. RPGs, Beat 'Em-Ups, Shoot 'Em-Ups, Platformers, even weird Puzzle games. Didn't matter the genre or how it was supposed to be played. The more it made me think and use my imagination and inspired awe, the more I wanted to be someone who could do the same for somebody else down the road... And losing that spark is probably what hurts the most.

Where I go from here, I can't begin to fathom. Casual? Hardcore? Neither at all? Who knows. Maybe I'll just play whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want to - which might entail exactly Nothing and Ever.

Maybe that's as good a place as any to start.

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About Nihilone of us since 6:11 AM on 12.19.2009

Hi. I'm Dan, an admin in the forums. Come down and say things to us. You'll float, too.

"Nihil" is the pseudonym I use for writing and gaming on the internet. I came across Destructoid by searching for information on Way of the Samurai 3. Tubatic had the most comprehensive coverage on it I'd seen anywhere.

For that, and for leading me to this extraordinary community, I thank him.

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