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Sex: That's what She(pard) said

The world of video games is filled heroes saving princesses, soldiers gunning down aliens, and (most relevantly for the purposes of this blog) scantily clad, large-breasted women. When considering the role of sex in video games, there are a few BIG, ROUND…..issues to consider. Oh, yeah, I also decided to see how many dirty innuendos I could INSERT in here, so…you know...hope you enjoy those.

Once upon a time, LONG ago, I happened to be playing a video game in my apartment with one of my friends. At one point during the game my friend remarked, “Good God dude, the chick in this game is super hot and has huge cans.” Now…do you have any idea which game he was talking about? Of course you don’t! Because it could have been just about any game ever made! And while I neither condone nor CONDOM the proliferation of sex in gaming, I do find it to be an interesting subject. So why is it so HARD to talk about? After all, sex is one of the most natural, normal (at least when you put away your whips and chains) activities in the realm of nature. People everywhere engage in sexual intercourse all the time (some of us more often than others). I’m not going to bother analyzing why sex is so abundant in the world of video games. I think we all know why already. But in case you are unsure, please allow the greatest actor in the history of American cinema to explain why developers design their female characters the way that they do

There are, however, examples of sex in gaming being used tastefully and effectively. It’s not all Leisure Suit Larry and Dead or Alive: Beach Volleyball out there. Bioware’s Mass Effect and Dragon Age games have, I think, opened the BACK DOOR for sex to be a part of gaming in a non-porny-jiggly-dirty-cheesy kind of way. I remember playing the original Mass Effect for the first time, and feeling an attachment to a video game character (Liara) in a way that I had never before experienced. Bioware has always been good at creating CUMpelling characters, but the relationship between Shepard and Liara resonated with me in a way that no movie or television relationship ever could. And I think that really shows the true strength of video games as an entertainment medium. So, needless to say, I was pretty pumped when Shepard and Liara finally boned……I just ruined the serious point I was trying to make, didn’t I? Oh well. Guess I BLEW it. Hee hee….wink ;) Thanks for reading………………………BONER……….ok I’m done now.
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About NICk unCAGEdone of us since 9:25 PM on 01.24.2013

I once beat God in a game of Ping Pong

I never learned how to tie my shoes

I think I just sat in gum

I can't tell you anything else, because, you know, you might be a stalker or something