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Mr Gilder
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Nugget of Joy: Fear of Silent Hill on a Foggy Afternoon

I live in Whitehall, Pennsylvania. Anyone who lives close to Allentown knows that for the entirety of the day today (12/27/08) the area has been under the oppressive reign of a pea-soup fog the likes of which weíve not seen in months. Given that I am a tremendous fan of Konamiís (generally) brilliant Silent Hill series, the fog tends to make me a tad nervous. Nothing makes going out to the backyard to beat a carpet or take out the garbage more of a chore then having to shamble along, burdened by the fear that a white beastie with a toothed vagina in the middle of its head, who makes up for its lame legs by being able to pull itself along the ground with a collection of rusty meat hooks that have replaced its fingernails may or may not be waiting behind the shed to leap out and dismember me.

What follows is a transcription of a text message conversation with my best friend James that was originally started to figure out whether or not he wanted to do anything tonight. I believe any Silent Hill fan, which includes many of you fine people here at Destructoid will get a kick out of it. Itís proof positive that; 1) Game journalism is probably the only career wherein I could peaceably exist without appearing insane to coworkers, and 2) Nothing brightens up your afternoon like having games so deeply engraved into the brains of you and your friends that moments like this occur at random. Enjoy!

(The area out behind my house - An approximation)

Me: Iím afraid to leave the house. Itís clearly silent hill out there now.

James: ha. Just carry a lead pipe with you.

Me: No good. My combat engine was specifically designed to respond poorly to simulate the struggle of an everyday man with no combat experience. Iím f#%&n done for.

James: god damn it. Time to get out the game shark.

Me: Last time I used one it fried my memory card slot. I guess we canít hang tonight. Ash babies everywhere.

James: ok hereís what you do. If you see a creepy looking hole in your wall, just reach in and see what happens.

Me: Oh ok . . . WOW! A red cog. Maybe this will power the decrepit iron lung covered in black vines that mysteriously replaced my fridge this morning.

James: yeah, that sounds about right. Just make sure not to use your flashlight while installing it. Youíll attract flying demon babies with upside down heads, bat wings, and legs for arms.

Me: Too late . . . Here they come. Oh crap. I think they may be symbols of my own suppressed sexuality and dormant issues with my father. I hate fog.
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About Mr Gilderone of us since 5:31 PM on 02.13.2008

Hello all. My name is Chris. I was born in 1984. I am a textbook hardcore gamer, and have been since the day my mother handed me an Atari 2600 joystick at about age four. I have an extensive collection of games and hardware that contains over 900 pieces that I keep fully inventoried in list and spreadsheet formats. I am also a huge film buff, and am probably that guy you hate to watch a movie with because he thinks too much about things.

I have done my fair share of time in video game retail. Four and a half years working at, and weekend-managing a Microplay, and about a year and a half wishing I was dead (aka. working) at a Gamestop. I am a compulsive reader of game journalism, both here on Destructoid and on various other sites. Friends and coworkers tell me that they have never met anyone who knows as much about the industry as me, or who can talk as well and passionately about it. It may be a big stretch to say that exactly, but I do believe my love and understanding of games, if anything, is clear when you talk to me. I hope you feel that way too when you read my writing! I have a degree in Interdisciplinary History/Government from Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Pennsylvania. Although I am currently employed in the purchasing and Accts. Payable department of an electrical construction company, it is my sincerest dream to eventually make writing and possibly teaching about popular culture topics (film, video games, tv, etc.) a full-time occupation. I dabble in my own fantasy-fiction stuff, and am working hard to perfect methods for analytically writing about games in the manner that one would a book or film.

I love to draw! in my (rare) spare time.

I am an absolute toy nut. I have loads of action figures all over my place, and many many more stored away in an attic that there just simply isn't enough room to display. I obviously love to scarf up any game related toys that I can. Specifically, I find Japanese Gashapon (capsule toys) by Yujin to be particularly worth wasting money on. My primary focus, however, is on robots. I have a wall of Transformers, a glass case full of hand-painted Gundam models, and a load of Lego Bionicles.

Reading is also a huge part of my life. I love to be informed, and get super into philosophy. I regularly alternate between classics like Dickens, Lewis, Carol and Twain, to violent pulp fantasy. I have a particular soft spot for novels based in Games Workshop's Warhammer 40K universe.

Finally, I am a cheesball hopeless romantic, and am a member on like 40 bajillion dating sites. Of course, the ultimate would be to snag a nice gamer girl, but as there are so very few around where I live, I simply don't see it happening.

That about sums me up. If you want to know more. Feel free to message me. I'm serious about being as big a part as I can of the gamer community!

Here are some other measly facts and favorites.

Favorite Game System: Neo-Geo

Five Absolute Favorite Games:
- Castlevania: Symphony of the Night
- Wild Arms
- Phantasy Star Online Ep.1&2 (Gamecube Version)
- Chrono Trigger
- Dragon Force

Favorite Movie: Tombstone

Favorite Anime: Shin Getter Robo Armageddon OVA

PSN Name: MrGilder1

Favorite Bands:
- Vintersorg
- Scar Symmetry
- Justice
- Chromeo
- Rush

AIM: RageofGeo

Twitter: MrGilder1

Xbox LIVE:MrGilder


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