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Metallion's c-blog
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Aaamaazing: Mortal Kombat

Aah Mortal Kombat. A true phenomenon of its time. While we were just getting the hang of the fighting genre that Street Fighter II introduced, this thing hit us like a battering ram. We all know what the deal was. Violence. And lots of it...

 
 
 

Groundhog Day: BlazBlue

First of all, let me say that I am particularly happy with this month's musing topic. I'm not the kind of guy that writes blogs to bitch and moan. I write about games because I absolutely love games. In fact, taking a single game or franc...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Kirby's Dream Land 2

A good day to you all and welcome to another issue of River City Retro. As I announced in my previous blog, this time we're talking about Kirby's Dream Land 2 for the Nintendo Game Boy. The first one in the series is one of my all time fa...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Kirby's Dream Land

Hello there, fine people. My name is Metallion and I write about games. Last week I read this blog on Destructoid. Not particularly well written. He should have used a spell checker and probably brushed up on his grammar a bit too. Nevert...

 
 
 
 
 

River City Retro: River City ... Ransom!

So how's it going? Hanging around Destructoid? Reading the Cblogs? Are we having fun yet? I don't know about you but you bet I am! I've been replaying my copy of River City Ransom for the NES. Not only is that an absolutely awesome game t...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Guilty Gear's Metal Meltdown

I've always been a huge fan of heavy metal music. In fact I entered this speech contest just earlier today. We were given a few minutes up on stage to talk in Japanese about pretty much anything we wanted. My subject was metal and in partic...

 
 
 

A Gamer's Diet: It's my birthday!

Well actually it isn't my birthday. It was a little over one month ago. I had fully intended to publish this blog back then but as you can see, that didn't happen. I'm guess I'm still getting used to my new daily life since I moved to Tok...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Time Slaughter

You know, when I was a little kid, I just couldn't get enough of Mortal Kombat. I didn't have a SNES until the Playstation was already out so until then, I could only play the game in a shop or at a friend's house. Whenever I wasn't in ei...

 
 
 

A gamer's diet: Ratatouille

Let me start off by excessively thanking everyone that supported A Gamer's Diet two weeks ago. I really didn't know what to expect at first. With double digit faps and loads of encouraging comments, including two from the Destructoid staf...

 
 
 

A gamer's diet: Spaghetti Bolognaise

This is a new series I intend on doing. Other than gaming, a thing I really love is eating and drinking. For a while now I have been wanting to blog about the things I make and bake. Feeling like this doesn't belong on a gaming site such ...

 
 
 
 

E for Effort: Becoming a World Warrior

I remember seeing Street Fighter II in a Club Nintendo magazine for the first time. Even to this day I can't quite put my finger on it but Street Fighter II just had something to it that made me absolutely crave the game. The only problem...

 
 
 
 
 

Four years of Destructoid, four months of Metallion

As we all know, Destructoid is turning four next week. Jordan has already written his collection of wacky memories and now Hamza is encouraging the community members to do the same. I have only been here for a few months so I'm not really...

 
 
 

River City Retro Alien Wars 1: UFO Done Properly

A very good day and welcome back to River City Retro. Around this time last month, I discussed a little DOS game called UFO: Enemy Unknown or X-COM: UFO Defence depending on your region. I tried out this gimmick where I explained the gam...

 
 
 

The Starcraft 2 beta and what it means to me

Ever since the release of Dune II back in '92, Real-time strategy has emerged as one of the most popular genres on the PC market. It was a genial formula that still stands tall to this day. You collect resources in order to advance your t...

 
 
 
 

My Expertise: A Moustached Hero

Before I start rambling about my skill of choice, let me ask you a question. Have you ever had a hero? You know... That one person that you elevate above yourself and admire more than anything else in the world. Until recently I've never ...

 
 
 

River City Retro Artwork

These are just a few banners that I have made for my blog. I intend to keep making more of these and I'll put up another one as my header artwork every few months. Since it's still a while before I'll replace my River City Ransom-banner, I ...

 
 
 

River City Retro: UFO: Enemy Unknown

Aah the X-COM series. The pearl of early PC gaming. This is a textbook example of a cult game. It's relatively unknown to the vast masses of gamers but yet several media outlets including IGN have stamped it "the best PC game of all time"...

 
 
 

River City Retro: 10 Games that love other games

In today's era where gay pride parades draw millions of people, it has become accepted to love one's own kind. It happens regularly that games indulge in this new right and show their love for other games by hiding subtle hints somewhere ...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Final Fantasy 6

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. In today's issue of River City Retro we'll be discussing Final Fantasy 6. Alright, I'll admit that sounded pretty gay. Then again, when I started blogging back in December, I had no plan to make any kin...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Tom & Jerry

I'm going to take it easy this time and discuss one of my old favourite NES games: Tom and Jerry. There's just something about these two that can capture any audience. Americans, Europeans, Asians, you name it. Everybody knows this dynami...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Sin... just sin

Last week I talked about Blood. One of those shooters of the old kind that they just don't make any more. It's kind of like those eighties action movies which were carried by breathtaking stunts rather than special effects and CG. Remembe...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Blood... just blood

Just a couple of weeks ago, I stumbled upon this top ten bloodiest games list on gametrailers. I was amazed. Amazed at how they could leave out the most obvious game of all. Blood! It had gallons more than many of the games they covered a...

 
 
 

River City Retro: Eight games lost in translation

When something travels from one nation to another, it rarely arrives completely unscathed. Be it a complete butchering of the English language or simply you getting that extra bottle of booze lifted from your luggage, there's always somet...

 
 
 

New Super Mario Brothers Wii: My first impressions

The DS being the only Nintendo console I owned since the SNES has caused me to pass up on a lot of first party gems. The original Super Mario Brothers was what really got me into gaming and will remain one of my main favourites for all ti...

 
 

About Metallionone of us since 4:11 AM on 10.14.2009

River City Retro
------------------------

Kirby's Dream Land 2

Kirby's Dream Land

What Final Fantasy used to sound like

NES conquers the world in 25 years

River City Ransom

Guilty Gear's Metal Meltdown

Time Slaughter

Alien Wars 4: How to make a proper X-COM Sequel

Alien Wars 3: How the X-COM series fell from grace

Alien Wars 2: From the depths they came

Alien Wars 1: UFO Done Properly

UFO: Enemy Unknown

Ten Games that love other games

Final Fantasy 6

Tom & Jerry

Sin... just sin

Blood... just blood

Eight Games Lost in Translation

A Gamer's Diet
-----------------------

Apple Pie (It's my birthday)

Ratatouille

Spaghetti Bolognaise

Monthly Musing
-----------------------

Aaamaazing: Mortal Kombat

Groundhog Day: BlazBlue

E for Effort: Becoming a World Warrior + Interview with a tournament player

Something about sex: Ten gaming couples that either should or should not do it

My Expertise: A Moustached Hero

The Future: Professional gaming

River City Ramblings
-------------------------------

The Starcraft 2 beta and what it means to me

New Super Mario Brothers Wii: My first impressions

Biography
---------------

Who am I you ask? Well I guess my story starts some time around the early eighties. As my apartment had strangely gotten a lot smaller over the last months, I thought it would be a good idea to redecorate it. I was leaning back in my sofa, going through the new Ikea catalog when I was suddenly hit by a massive earthquake. As much as I tried to hold my ground, I was propelled head first into that strange tunnel at my front door. I had been wondering where that leads but never had the courage to check it out.

After a long and bumpy ride, I finally stuck my head out the other end and saw daylight. Before I had a chance to adjust to my new environment, a big man wearing some kind of a lab coat and face mask grabbed hold of me. He was a despicable man really. Not only did he cut my food supply line, he also held me upside down in the air and slapped me right on the butt! What did I ever do to him?! Just when I was about to stick it to him, my attention was averted to this tired looking lady lying on a bed nearby.

It was very strange. Do you know that feeling when you meet somebody for the first time, yet you feel like you have known each other all along? I had this feeling when I saw her. That's when it occurred to me. This woman must be my landlady and I had been neglecting my rent for a few months after all. I could understand that she was upset but still... She had no right to turn me over to that sadistic bull in his white coat! I thought that me and her were going to have a long and personal conversation but right now, I just wanted to take a shower. That tunnel I had just been through wasn't all that clean after all.

Fortunately this other lady dressed in white was a lot nicer than her butt-slapping friend. She most kindly helped me clean myself and then handed me some warm, although not very fashionable garments. She carried me over to my landlady and I prepared to negotiate the rent but instead, my landlady threw me a warm smile and pressed me against her breast so lovingly that I melted like snow to the sun. She and her equally loving husband took me to their home where they had a room prepared with a bed in exactly my size and all kinds of lovely little things to play with. It's like they had been planning to take me in all along.

I didn't quite understand the strange language both of them spoke but yet I figured out that her name was Mom and crying meant "Food please", "Hug me" and "Clean me" all at the same time. The temperature wasn't as constant as my previous home but still, this was some service! Anyway, I would wander around this place for the time being while gradually learning to speak their language. It would take seven years before I really found out what my purpose here was.

One fine morning, Mom brought me to a supermarket and I saw a little mustached guy jumping around on a TV. That was my first encounter with the Nintendo Entertainment System! This thing blew my mind in so many ways! I had heard of princesses being kidnapped by dragons before but where's the prince to save her? No, there is no prince! This time it's a fat Italian plumber with a mustache who gets to be the hero! Yeah, that's what I'm talking about! Power to the common man! Not only that but rather than simply hear his tale, I could actually help him in his quest. Though Mom seemed quite unimpressed, I knew I had witnessed a miracle and it would leave a mark on my life for years to come.

I'd often get into fights with Mom after that. She wanted me to go outside and play with my friends but what did she know? After all, all of my friends were living in similar warm nests, receiving the same service from two other persons who were somehow all named Mom and Dad. No, my purpose in life was bigger than that. As much fun as playing with my friends was, If I did that then who would save princess Peach, liberate the kingdom of Hyrule and smite the evil king Dedede? I just couldn't ignore the sorrow of the weak!

It wasn't until another seven years or so that I would see what a fool I had been. Up until now, I had been carrying the weight of the world on my own shoulders while completely ignoring the help others could have offered. I was determined to never close my eyes to the value of friendship again! Especially in these dark times. I was barely finished helping Dr. Freeman escape the resonance cascade alive when bands of terrorists attacked and dragged his scientist colleagues off to cs_assault. This was too much for just me to handle. This time I needed help!

Anyone who doesn't believe in the kindness of strangers is a moron. I mean sure, strangers aren't always nice. I've been told that I SuX0rz and have been called a n00b a million times but even then, it's worth it. As it so happens, it were these very strangers that padded me on the back and reassuringly shouted "Lock and Load!" before we stormed the big garage and got every single scientist out while making a fair buck in the process. Unfortunately our happiness was short lived as a new batch of terrorists arrived and we were right back where we started. Rather than sigh over the shortness of our victory, we bought ourselves a new pack of heavy guns and rushed in once more. No matter how many times the terrorists came back, we'd bring them to justice!

Time went on and the terrorists got more and more violent. Now they didn't only take hostages any more but also planted bombs and tried to assassinate seemingly random VIPs. Our combined efforts were no longer enough. We needed more coordination. We needed a plan! We had to Look at the map and devise a clever strategy. As much as I tried this, people were joining and leaving our counter-terrorist squad with every tick of the clock. Some of them even switched sides to join the terrorists. I engaged in conversation with several of the better fighters. We decided to join together regularly and learn how to fight as one. You could even go as far as to call us a counter-strike clan! For years we battled the forces of evil and shed much blood until I finally left the front as I heard of another land in need.

So many years ago I had liberated the town of Tristram from Diablo, the lord of terror. The hero I helped out at the time had drilled the dark lord's soul stone right into his own forehead. What an idiot! Needless to say, Diablo soon overpowered this weak excuse for a savior and continued to live on, inhabiting the former hero's body. "Man", I thought. "I've gone through all of this before, I'm not doing it again or at least... Not alone!" Fortunately my plea for help didn't leave me waiting as several friends showed up and we entered a new clan to smite that demon once and for all! After taking care of business in the chaos sanctuary, laying waste to Baal, the lord of destruction and even single handedly obliterating several acres of murderous cows, it was time to put my swords and bows to rest once more.

Since that time, my clan based activity has settled down and I remain to fight on the side of good with smaller bands of friends while every now and then fondly remembering those good old days. Most of all, I tend to leave the real action up to others as I watch from the sidelines. Especially a Korean man named Jaedong shows particular excellence in leading the Zerg to victory against the evil Protoss at general Bisu's command and admiral Flash' corrupted Terran whom I wish all to be infested for greater good.

I thank you for taking the time to read about my life. Perhaps our paths may once cross in the endless online battlefields and until then, luck be with you.