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This is not in my mind a winning entry, but it's really the only one I can make.

Last night I had a dream where Jonathan Holmes was sort of a modern-day Erin Brockovich. He had uncovered a conspiracy by a large butter-substitute manufacturer who knew it was manufacturing a dangerous and defective product. But that's not the important part.

In my dream, Jonathan Holmes told me about a murder trial that had gone on the previous year in the same corrupt county, and he induced a flashback sequence within the dream. Apparently Whiteboy had been charged with the decapitation of a woman, and the prosecutor was arguing that he had been influenced by a videogame called "Texas Warning" (where else but Texas would decapitation be considered a warning?).

But Whiteboy's defense was able to provide a security video of the park that day. In the video, Whiteboy was practicing capoeira in the park. The victim was riding her bike towards the camera, but out of Whiteboy's line of sight. He executed a particularly forceful spin kick, and knocked her head clean off her shoulders as she rode by. It was sort of like this:

Whiteboy was cleared of murder, and the flashback ended, and I woke up. It was 4:20, which seemed fitting. I tried to remember the important details, and went back to sleep, comforted by the fact that dream Jim Sterling would be chalking up another victory for the videogames industry against the forces of ignorance.

Destructoid, I love you, but I already spend most of my waking hours with you. Please get the hell out of my dreams.

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About MaxVestone of us since 9:23 PM on 06.03.2007

It's only a model...

Uncommon, some wear on the edges.

First game: TI Invaders (Space Invaders knock-off) for the TI-99 "home computer". Either that or the Pac-Man built into the glass-top tables at Mr. Gatti's Pizza.
First console: NES
First world-altering game secret: JUSTIN BAILEY
First Arcade: Aladdin's Palace
First "mature" game: Leisure Suit Larry
First PC: 386SX 16 mHz w/40 MB HDD, Win 3.0, & 640x480 VGA baby!
First FPS: Wolfenstein 3D
First game mastered: Street Fighter II Turbo - Hyper Fighting (SNES)
First LAN deathmatch: Duke Nukem 3D
Great Game Reawakening: Living in an apartment with all sixth generation consoles and 3 gaming rigs.

New Systems: Wii, DS.
Somehow now owns: PS3
Randomly owns: SEGA Nomad, Game Gear, Genesis II, Sega CD
Cannot afford but is thinking about intercepting return RROD coffin: Xbox 360.
Currently playing: Rock Band, Zack & Wiki, Unreal Tournament III