While going through one of my many shoeboxes of pointless trinkets and shit, I dug up some notes I wrote to myself a few years ago. But lo, dear reader, these are no ordinary notes. These are notes I wrote to myself after the first few times I'd been exposed to alcohol.
Until I was about twenty and a half, I didn't do any partying. I'd been straight edge for most of high school, and in Sonoma, where I grew up, this is pretty unusual. It's wine country, and it's Northern California. So basically, if you're not smoking something or drinking something, people look at you a little bit strangely. Of course, it probably doesn't make people think you're any less weird if you've drawn X's on the backs of your hands because you're hardXcore.
Anyway. Here's what happened the first time I had Jägermeister, sometime around spring break of 2007:
Michelle + Curtis are adorable. Please God don't throw lightning at me for this shit.
'Are you Irish?' 'No, I just like TMNT'
I just got so much dumber.
Haha Satan Bear
I think were done here. I need to make a movie.
The night of the party, I'd been wearing a bright green hoodie and an orange bandana. This, of course, was not because of Irish pride, but because of Turtle Power.
Britney Spears' "Lucky" and Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback" were two songs that I had put on when someone let my stupid ass go play with the iPod. Of course, instead of this being humiliating and people laughing at me, a really hot half-Japanese girl said "You did not
just put on Britney!" Then we made out on the couch until her friend came into the room and reminded her that she had a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure after that, my buddy drove me home in his Geo Metro and thought I should draw a picture of Satan Bear even though I had homework for a filmmaking class.
I have a few more of these notes, and they get progressively more embarrassing. If you thought this note sucked, I'm sorry and here's a picture of Glenn Danzig fighting Lemmy from Motörhead:
LOOK WHO CAME: