NE: Five ways the Switch could be made better
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That poor, poor X button.

Why in the hell do gamemakers decide it's a good idea to put in button mashing segments in their games? It wears down the controller faster, it tires your arm faster and it can get fusterating in large doses.

What game motivated me to post this, you ask? Incredible Crisis.

It's a story-based minigame collection (think Feel the Magic for the DS (better comparisons would be appreciated.).) for the PSX. The game is about members of a family that have to get through this crazy hectic day of theirs.

So, I started my game, and it's pretty fun. It starts off with a Parappa knock off dance thing, until the end in where you slam the X button to fill up the meter to spin around like the finishing move from Michael Jackson's Moonwalker. Not much bashing, but some. Then, a huge boulder comes in and suddenly your Indiana Jones running down the hall from the giant rock and now...IT'S MASHING TIME. You have to wait until the rectangle turns red than mash until you make it to the door. Three times (the second and third halls incude obstacles) and your in the elevator.

WHat do you do there, you ask? POUND THE SHIT OUT OF THE X BUTTON TO FILL UP A METER, all the while dodging shit falling from the sky. Of course, the meter has a quick as shit emptying rate, so you have to beat the loving hell out of that button for 4 minutes almost straight. Then is a nice single-pressing game in which you have to balance yourself to stay on the flagpole and not fall to a gory demise. Of course, once you complete it, you do anyway, so meh.

The second chapter is mash free until the final part, in which you have to find a location on a woman's back to rub using only her directions (i.e. " A Little Left".) When you do find the spot (given with a quite sexy "ooh, there"), you gotta rapid fire your thumb so you can fill up the pleasure bar to the max before you have to find the spot again.

Third chapter gives you a one game padding before it's back to beating the button liek a redheaded stepchild. This is where I stopped for the night.

I may not have the best stamina (which is evident in how I cant pound a button over and over in a rapid fashion for like 45 minutes), but it seems a bit excessive, don't you think? I don't want to stop my game while I'm having some nice fun to put my mashing arm in ice to rest it for the next couple innings, and I don't want to completely wear the (arguably) most important button on the controller out just for one game. I know the odds of wearing the button to the point of unresponsiveness over the course of this one game is quite small, and that these things are designed to be able to take quite a beating over a number of years, but man. At some point it becomes overkill.
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About MPHtailsone of us since 1:55 PM on 09.18.2007


This is basically my game collection (minus N64, SNES, Xbox 1, and Game Boy games):

See more of my puny, meager collection (in image sizes that can be read) at:

Well, if your lazy and don't want to read the whole sidebar, I'll save you some time and tell you that all you need to know about me is in this image:

That aside, lets do some lists, because I enjoy lists.

Honorable Mentions:Zombies ate my Neighbors , Super Mario World
12.Sonic 3 & Knuckles
11.Tetris Attack
10.Sonic CD
9.Popful Mail
8.Bubble Bobble
7.Chrono Trigger
6.River City Ransom
5.Tecmo Super Bowl (NES)
4.Jet Grind Radio
2.NiGHTS into Dreams
1.Cave Story

I'm a really slow player. I rarely blast through games, regardless of genre or my own skill of it. Final Fantasy VII, for example, took me 8 years, 4 new files, 2 memory cards, and two copies to beat, even with a strategy guide.
Also, I cant frigging beat Chrono Trigger because my PS2 wont read the damn disc, same with Popful mail. This pisses me off.

UPDATE 5/3/08: I R WINRAR. Now to do the same with Popful Mail

As far as favorite bands go, I like more or less any song that catches my ear, regardless of genre or even quality (something thats also with every type of entertainment, I tend to enjoy lesser things). So, lets list, but with less numbers this time:

Smash mouth I reguard as my favorite band currently, but thats quite a changing area.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Duran Duran
and some others that I forgot.

As far as individual songs go, some of the ones that I favor due to memories or just general enjoyability are:

Fallen Horses- Smash Mouth
Waste- Smash Mouth
Then the Morning Comes- Smash Mouth
Eye of the Tiger- Survivor
16 bit vs PS3- Prinz Pi
Geto Highlites- Coolio
Flagpole Sitta- Harvey Danger
Rio-Duran Duran
Last Dinosaur- the pillows
Little Busters- the pillows
Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chilli Peppers

And of course, the rock prayer:
IN the name of the [Bohemian] Rhapsody, the Freebird, and the Holy Diver, May we all ascend the Stairway to Heaven.

Of course, theres more, but i just feel like stopping there.

Movies, well, theres Rocky III, IV and Balboa , Spaceballs, Snakes on a plane, Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, the View Askewniverse movies and the like, but my all time favorite is BASEketball. SO many underrated one liners.

Television, lets see. Red vs Blue, House, WWE Raw (yes, imma rasslin guy yee haw), Chappelle's Show, like over nine thousand 80's and 90's toons, Saved by the Bell, Fresh Prince, Psyche, Full House (i was raised on it, so it dosen't count), Simpsons, KING OF THE HILL, Shin Chan, FLCL, and such, but as far as favorites go it's gotta be Mystery Science Theater 3000. Dont let anyone tell you different, Red Zone Cuba is the best episode, even if it's not Final Sacrifice with ZAP ROWSDOWER.

My Systems, let me show you them.
-Sega CD
-Xbox 1
-GB Pocket
-GB Brick

I like more under the radar.cult games like Earthbound, Popful Mail, Mr. Bones, and such, but usually due to their rarity they are a little pricy and thus I haven't played a truckload of them. I used to be a huge Sonic nut (even going so far as to read./collect the Archie Sonic comics even far after i stopped enjoying them), but thats since waned considerably. Though forever loyal to Sega in my heart (and, to a lesser extent, Nintendo), I can't survive on Shmups alone, and therefore branched myself out to accept all makes and models of vidja games and vidja game accessorries.

Well, if I think of anyting more, I'll be sure to add it so noone will ever read it.
Xbox LIVE:Dr Dtroit
Mii code:[email protected]


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