MPHtails blog header photo
MPHtails's c-blog
Posts 0Blogs 13Following 0Followers 4



A Cast of Thousands: The Tecmo Bills.

No, you're not reading that wrong. The first thing that came to my mind for this month's monthly musings was a football team. A team of sprites modeled after real people even. But if that's what you think, you've obviously never set foot onto the 8-bit gridiron of Tecmo Super Bowl.

Sure, it's 11 images modeled after real people, but have you ever seen a super bowl team score 3 touchdowns and a field goal in the last quarter of a Super Bowl? Also, I must remind you that quarters are five minutes long, and even then they go in double time. So one real world second is two or three Tecmo seconds.

You could call it simply bad play, the player falling apart in the end. When fumbles and INTs are as random as they are in this game, I don't think 3 straight fumbles are any player error.

You could call it using a bad team, but the Giants in his game are stacked. If you were to simulate 100 seasons of Tecmo, I guarantee NY would be in the playoffs all but maybe 10 times, would be in the second round most of those times ,and even go to the superbowl more than 25 of those times. So it's basically the top two teams.

So, what is the cause of this, then? Basically when they were making this it was in the midst of Buffalo's 4 consecutive Super Bowl streak (which they lost all 4 of, by the way). So, they decided that the Bills would be the top team. Then they proceeded to have the computer that governed the events in the game to cheat as heavily as it could for them. Therefore, things like the above could easily happen, to anyone from a rookie to a vet.

And this isn't just in the big games, oh no. Many a perfect season has been lost to the Bills, in just as spectacular of fashions. You ask any player who aruins their seasons the most, and the answer is likely to be the team with the programming to be able to overcome almost any odds.

And for this, I must salute the most feared enemy in any game. Sure, that boss might be scary, but once you beat him most of the time either he's done or you have his pattern down. The Bills? You face them at most 3 times a season and rarely more than once, even for teams in the other conference. They are a boss that comes back, more unpredictable than the last time. You can never truly figure them out, they have no pattern. If you ever enter season mode, they are right there, ready and waiting to ruin your Super Bowl run.

And all you can do is pray. Pray that the retro gods shine upon you as you hope to god that sack doesn't produce the 5th fumble of the first quarter and the third to go back for a TD. Offer a virgin in sacrifice as you hope against hope that this time when they throw to a receiver that's covered by 5 of your guys that no miracle catch happens again. And finally commit seppuku when they score that game winning field goal off the 9th INT of the game in the closing seconds of the Super Bowl.

There's no way to defend against their shenanigans because you're playing by the Nintendo's rules, and since the game is so in love with them, it's pretty much their rules. And that is why gaming's greatest villains, the NES version of Tecmo Super Bowl's Buffalo Bills, are the subject of my cast of thousands monthly musing.
Login to vote this up!



Please login (or) make a quick account (free)
to view and post comments.

 Login with Twitter

 Login with Dtoid

Three day old threads are only visible to verified humans - this helps our small community management team stay on top of spam

Sorry for the extra step!


About MPHtailsone of us since 1:55 PM on 09.18.2007


This is basically my game collection (minus N64, SNES, Xbox 1, and Game Boy games):

See more of my puny, meager collection (in image sizes that can be read) at: https://s22.photobucket.com/albums/b331/MPHtails/My%20Collection/

Well, if your lazy and don't want to read the whole sidebar, I'll save you some time and tell you that all you need to know about me is in this image:

That aside, lets do some lists, because I enjoy lists.

Honorable Mentions:Zombies ate my Neighbors , Super Mario World
12.Sonic 3 & Knuckles
11.Tetris Attack
10.Sonic CD
9.Popful Mail
8.Bubble Bobble
7.Chrono Trigger
6.River City Ransom
5.Tecmo Super Bowl (NES)
4.Jet Grind Radio
2.NiGHTS into Dreams
1.Cave Story

I'm a really slow player. I rarely blast through games, regardless of genre or my own skill of it. Final Fantasy VII, for example, took me 8 years, 4 new files, 2 memory cards, and two copies to beat, even with a strategy guide.
Also, I cant frigging beat Chrono Trigger because my PS2 wont read the damn disc, same with Popful mail. This pisses me off.

UPDATE 5/3/08: I R WINRAR. Now to do the same with Popful Mail

As far as favorite bands go, I like more or less any song that catches my ear, regardless of genre or even quality (something thats also with every type of entertainment, I tend to enjoy lesser things). So, lets list, but with less numbers this time:

Smash mouth I reguard as my favorite band currently, but thats quite a changing area.
Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Duran Duran
and some others that I forgot.

As far as individual songs go, some of the ones that I favor due to memories or just general enjoyability are:

Fallen Horses- Smash Mouth
Waste- Smash Mouth
Then the Morning Comes- Smash Mouth
Eye of the Tiger- Survivor
16 bit vs PS3- Prinz Pi
Geto Highlites- Coolio
Flagpole Sitta- Harvey Danger
Rio-Duran Duran
Last Dinosaur- the pillows
Little Busters- the pillows
Scar Tissue- Red Hot Chilli Peppers

And of course, the rock prayer:
IN the name of the [Bohemian] Rhapsody, the Freebird, and the Holy Diver, May we all ascend the Stairway to Heaven.

Of course, theres more, but i just feel like stopping there.

Movies, well, theres Rocky III, IV and Balboa , Spaceballs, Snakes on a plane, Breakfast Club, Ferris Bueller, the View Askewniverse movies and the like, but my all time favorite is BASEketball. SO many underrated one liners.

Television, lets see. Red vs Blue, House, WWE Raw (yes, imma rasslin guy yee haw), Chappelle's Show, like over nine thousand 80's and 90's toons, Saved by the Bell, Fresh Prince, Psyche, Full House (i was raised on it, so it dosen't count), Simpsons, KING OF THE HILL, Shin Chan, FLCL, and such, but as far as favorites go it's gotta be Mystery Science Theater 3000. Dont let anyone tell you different, Red Zone Cuba is the best episode, even if it's not Final Sacrifice with ZAP ROWSDOWER.

My Systems, let me show you them.
-Sega CD
-Xbox 1
-GB Pocket
-GB Brick

I like more under the radar.cult games like Earthbound, Popful Mail, Mr. Bones, and such, but usually due to their rarity they are a little pricy and thus I haven't played a truckload of them. I used to be a huge Sonic nut (even going so far as to read./collect the Archie Sonic comics even far after i stopped enjoying them), but thats since waned considerably. Though forever loyal to Sega in my heart (and, to a lesser extent, Nintendo), I can't survive on Shmups alone, and therefore branched myself out to accept all makes and models of vidja games and vidja game accessorries.

Well, if I think of anyting more, I'll be sure to add it so noone will ever read it.
Xbox LIVE:Dr Dtroit
Mii code:[email protected]


Around the Community