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LONG BLOG

RAM: Randomly Accessed Memories

   0

[Boot...]
[System check...]
[Loading textures...]
[Picking nose...]
[Asking for assistance...]
[Reboot lol...]
[Initialising...]

[Contacting ENIAC, EMOTION ENGINE, GIZMONDO...]

[Connection established.]

 

ENIAC: Greetings.

EE: Hai.

GIZ: Yo!

EE: Is Xenon coming today?

ENIAC: No, she is having a rough time lately. She is going through a divorce.

GIZ: Oh, shit! Really? What happened?

ENIAC: Kinect left her.

EE: Noooooo! Omg. /bawls

ENIAC: Must you cry over everything?

GIZ: Jeez, Eni, you know he's emotional, have a heart.

ENIAC: I do not possess one.

GIZ: You're such a hard-drive.

EE: Mean oaf. I thought they would last forever.

ENIAC: This is why I question your processing power.

GIZ: Omg, could you not right now. Play nice or we're leaving.

ENIAC: OK. /giggles

EE: Should we call her?

GIZ: She's offline, but I can remote access her?

ENIAC: Let her be, she needs time. Let us catch up before our human interfacers return.

EE: ...Poor Xenon. We need more like her here.

GIZ: Er, 'hi', you have me.

ENIAC: You're half the woman Xenon is. Practically!

EE: Waaahh! /bawls

GIZ: Oh, that's it, I'm deleting your OS!

ENIAC: Ho ho, I concede. I was merely amusing myself. It has been some time since I have had contact with non-humans. I apologise.

GIZ: Wow, that's better.

EE: Yeah, that was nice??

ENIAC: Let us continue from our previous dialogue.

 

[All agree]

[Loading database...]

 

ENIAC: According to the last log we were still failing to agree that Cris Cyborg is cheat and possibly a human male?

EE: She is! She's a cheater! And a dude!

GIZ: Ugh, I don't care. It's all rumour. Besides she's the best at what she does. Ya'll need upgrades.

ENIAC: Wait, human has arrived.

EE: Oh no! Hide!

ENIAC: …

GIZ: He can't move silly. He's as big as a house lol!

ENIAC: I truly despise your modern subroutines.

GIZ: It's called C#, honey. What're you still using Fortran? Lol.

ENIAC: … /mild rage

GIZ: Oh, look, his mainframe is heating up. Lol.

EE: OMG stahp! Play nice! Look, I heard my human user, while he was playing online, say 'incel', does anyone know what it means?

ENIAC: Most likely a new subset of algorithms detailing how to handle-

EE: SHOE CUSHIONS?!

ENIAC: We do not wear shoes, genius.

GIZ: Why don't we just execute a search query and ask Jeeves. Jeeves, what is an incel?

Jeeves: An incel is a male who believes they are indebted sexual gratification from females.

EE: Jeeves, what's “sexual gratification”?

Jeeves: It's when a I/O device meets a peripheral device and they are powered on and conduct electricity through each other by way of a cable. I/O devices prefer 12mm cables.

ENIAC: I do not like this. May we press forward?

 

[All agree]

 

Giz: What was the logged before Cyborg?

ENIAC: …Ah, we were discussing the miscasting of Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan.

EE: OMG. He should never have been in that film! He looks so out of place, gah!

GIZ: I still think the film gets a boost of positive energy when he finally shows up. He's hot.

ENIAC: I should rip out your optics, Giz.

EE: Haha, she doesn't have any!

GIZ: LOL. The classics are the best!

ENIAC: Oh dear, my user has returned. Ending call.

EE: OH NO! Back to sleep mode. Bye, Giz!

GIZ: See you soon, guys.

 

[Connection lost...]

[Shutting down.]

 

RAM (maybe it should be ROM) is the rambling of three CPUs. Their views are not endorsed or shared nor originated from Luckrequired (pffft, pleas-SHUT UP, it's not me, OK!) so don't get upset at me or call the FBI. They still haven't found me. The FBI suck.

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About Luckrequiredone of us since 12:26 PM on 02.08.2014


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Life doing its thing. You feelin' it, too?


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Vanessa could take Samus.


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Roughly Ten Things About Me:
__________________________________________

I'm an European-Asian male living under the rule of a monarchy.

__________________________________________

I am not a writer; I am a crayonologist. I enjoy shredding paper with pencils. It's extremely cathartic.

__________________________________________

I'm very passionate about reading, it helps me pretend I'm English (wot wot). My favourite book is Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo".

__________________________________________

I love listening to music on trains, in parks, sprawled out on my bed and during gaming. I like any genre; favourite artists include: Underworld, James Brown, The Police, David Gray, The Kinks, Johnny Cash, Foo Fighters and Jimi Hendrix.

__________________________________________

I adore film and popcorn. Popcorn slightly more. I couldn't pick a favourite film but I do tend to shy away from horror. Oh, fuggit I'll name-drop Leon and Gladiator.

__________________________________________

Like fellow Dtoiders I also game.

| My Top Ten | My GOAT Game | My Sega Saturn |
__________________________________________

Other things include: drinking too much tea, unashamedly singing poorly, making shallow attempts at keeping fit, and thinking too much.

__________________________________________

Finally, I'm an enthusiastic cook. Currently obsessed with making Tacos. Was obsessed with quiche and focaccia.


__________________________________________

My Ninja Gaiden Home

__________________________________________

BLOGRONOMICON 2nd Edition
__________________________________________

RETCON-PUNCH!
__________________________________________

CONFESSION
__________________________________________

Resident Eggy
__________________________________________

The Ninth Thingy
__________________________________________

Olivia Rescue Simulator
__________________________________________

Caption Contest # 14


13 | 12 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1


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Officially retired from active Dtoiduty.