121 Hours 19 Minutes
Soul Level 92
Lightning Longsword +5
Hard Leather Armor set +9
Late-game Dark Souls stuff ahead!
Last Saturday, July 27th, I stayed up untill 3 A.M. playing Dark Souls.
I was on a roll. Not exactly this kind of roll.
I had planned to stop playing after I cut the tail from Seath the Scaleless. I had just recently upgraded my Lightning Longsword as far as I could, and I wanted to cut something with it.
Unfortunately, Seath is annoying as shit, and I was unable to do so, so I just killed him instead.
I took his Lord Soul Fragment to the Lordvessel and dropped it in.
Thinking to myself, "Hey, why not?", I took a little trip into New Londo, to give Four Kings a shot.
After a fairly tense battle which involved much dodging, I emerged victorious, claiming the Four Kings' Lord Soul fragment as my own.
I was rather shocked.
Me, being shocked.
I tossed that junk into the Lordvessel and made my way into the Tomb of the Giants.
First of all, screw
the Tomb of the Giants. Why can't I use my Skull Lantern in my right hand with my shield up? It's crap that it only works in your shield hand.
Hate is a strong word and I hate you,
Tomb of the Giants. So much.
Thankfully, the Tomb is a relatively short area, and I made my way through after only a small degree of infuriating trouble. Skeleton beasts, seriously, what the hell?
I just... I don't even know.
I made my way in as far as I could, to a fog barrier completely obscured by lifeless (thankfully) skeletons seated all about in prayer. I smashed them apart, and made my way through the fog, wherein I jumped down into the dank pit which Nito, the first of the Dead, calls home.
Nito is METAL AS FUCK.
He is so radical, easily the best Grim Reaper I've ever seen. Look at him.
I guess you could say that he is...neato? (That was bad and I feel bad)
He's made up of like a thousand skeletons and his right arm is a scythe made out of EVEN MORE SKELETONS. He also wears a bitchin' cloak of shadow and whenever he does a powerful attack there is a horrible piercing death-scream.
Anyway, I did manage to kill Nito (despite being so amazingly cool, he isn't that tough, that's why he has minions in his boss fight) and then I plopped his soul into the Lordvessel.
It was getting late but I was pumped up, I had just killed three Lord Soul possesors and I was going to get the last one. I made the journey into Lost Izalith.
These two images are all you really need to know about Izalith.
I had cleared the area (painstakingly) of the bounding demons earlier, and had also cleared Izalith proper of treasure. I had actually wound up leaving because I had failed to save Siegmeyer-
and then I was almost immediately forced to slay Solaire.
He's cooperating jollily in heaven now.
At that point I had just had too much, and I had to leave.
But that had been earlier. I only had one goal now.
Slay the Bed of Chaos, and claim it's Lord Soul.
I actually died at the Bed of Chaos more times than any other end-game boss.
Instant-death pits, you see.
Despite that, I remained in relatively good spirits as I came back, time after time (I think it was about 3 or 4 times), until I had managed to end it. It was not a satisfying victory.
If you've beaten it, you know why.
I had done it. I had collected all the Lord Souls.
I could open the Kiln of the First Flame.
Before I did that however...
There was something I needed to do. Something that had been bugging me throughout the entire game.
I needed to kill the Hellkite Wyrm. This
What is it with dragons and bridges and also being such assholes?
I headed towards the infamous bridge, and, once upon it, I began dodging flames.
Dodging flames for quite awhile.
Still dodging flames after about ten minutes.
I was wondering why he wasn't coming down onto the bridge.
Annoyed, I shot an arrow at him.
That did it.
He swooped down with a roar, and I charged forward- tightly gripping my blade with both hands.
I hacked and swiped as he stomped at me. He flew along the length of the bridge, spouting torrents of fire. I caught aflame, but only slightly. The wyrm touched down again and I sprinted at him, swinging.
Then he let out a screech, his death-knell, and collapsed.
Holy hell, it felt good to kill him with a blade.
At that point I went over my mental checklist of what I had done.
I shot Gwynevere in the breast to see what would happen.
It was not a difficult shot.
Kill Gwyndolin. Kill Seath. Kill the Four Kings. Kill Nito. Kill the Bed of Chaos. Kill that flying, flame-spewing, jerkface asshole.
I warped down to the Daughter of Chaos bonfire and slew the Fair Lady; the bitch wouldn't talk to me because I didn't have the proper bling (Old Witches ring). There was no point in her living so I ended it. Eingyi's distraught reaction was hilarious.
I hadn't killed Crossbreed Priscilla, so I also did that, which was surprisingly easy.
For someone with the name "Lifehunter" I was very disappointed.
Pretty, but disappointing.
I talked to Patches, and then I killed that priest guy who hangs out near Firelink. I never liked him.
Then I killed Patches too, that dick.
There was nothing left for me to do at that point.
The Kiln of the First Flame is now my favorite area.
A desert of ashes filled with once great architecture, now melted and twisted by the intense heat of the flames, and filled with knights, bodies burnt away, leaving nothing but their spirits to animate their arms and armor, all charred black. It's fantastic.
Within the Kiln, you find Gwyn, Lord of Cinder, and some great music plays as
he charges at you. Moreso than any other boss I had experienced, Gwyn is unrelenting.
He beat me, and it was very late, and I was tired.
I turned everything off and slept until 2 P.M.
I did some stuff, and then at around 4:00, I started Dark Souls up again.
I refilled my Estus flask, and headed once more into the Kiln. I fought Gwyn.
On the suggestion of a friend
, I also abstained from parrying and riposting.
I don't regret it. The fight was amazingly intense.
Eventually, Gwyn fell, as all others had.
I linked the Fire.
It was over.
I stood up, turned my PS3 Slim off, and headed outside.
I started up the grill, and made some cheeseburgers on King's Hawaiian hamburger buns.
They were delicious.
I followed this up with Mint Chip and Rocky Road ice cream.
I had done it.
What else was there for me to do?
I have to wait for the sequel. Which is coming out in...
I guess I'll have to occupy my time with something...
I think I'll be fine.
I also don't think I've seen the end of Dark Souls...
At least, not quite
LOOK WHO CAME: