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LONG BLOG

Tales of Etrian Odyssey

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Stepping into Verda Plaza, Kojack looked around to survey the situation: Etria was definitely a nicer place than expected; better than back home, that’s for sure. A young woman passed by… the scenery wasn’t bad, either.

“Now then,” Kojack thought aloud, “where’s the Explorer’s Guild…? All these buildings look the same…”

A particularly attractive young woman passing by. She wore an orange feathered cap and held a bow over her shoulder. Flashing the most dazzling smile he could muster, Kojack attempted to get her attention.

“Excuse me, ma’am! Could you point me towards to Explorer’s Guild?”

The lady stopped and, with a less than friendly leer, appeared to size Kojack up. Kojack opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a loud scoff.

“Pfft, you’re wasting your time here. You want to explore the labyrinth? How about I slit your throat, it’ll be faster. But if you really want to know, it’s over there. By the way, you’ll never get anywhere with that sword; it doesn’t even look like it could kill a mole.”

Kojack was flabbergasted. The nerve of this woman, insulting his equipment like that! It took all of his willpower not to throw an ego-demolishing retort back at this despicable individual. After all, she was a woman; past experience has taught not to get on their bad side. Especially if he was to become rich and famous from his success in the Labyrinth exploration; one fabricated rumour of sexual relations with this woman and he was done for!

Forcing a grin, Kojack thanked the verbal abuser for her trouble, all the while listing off a plethora of insulting names for her in his mind. The two went their separate ways, and Kojack entered the Explorer’s Guild. He was met by a burly man with an eye patch. Kojack was slightly jealous of the circumference of his biceps.

“What?!” Kojack nearly shouted, “I can’t go alone?! Why do I need other guild members?”

“Well, technically you can go alone, but you won’t last long. A lot of people have died out there, so I won’t let you sign up unless you have at least one other person with you.”

Kojack reluctantly thanked the man for the information and left the guild. Just great! Where was he going to find guild members? He was far from home and the only other adventurer he knew around here verbally abused him. Letting out a big sigh, he sat down against the side of the building.

“What’s wrong?” Someone asked to his left. Kojack looked up to where he expected the face of his addresser to be, but immediately lowered his gaze about three feet.

“Did you get turned away by the scary man with the eye patch?” It was a young girl, about half as tall as Kojack with orange hair and a large bag around her shoulders.

“Yeah, I did. He said I needed to find at least one other person to go with. A medic would be ideal, but just about anyone will do…” Kojack let out a big sigh, wondering what to do.

“Really?” The girl’s eyes brightened, “because I’m a medic!”

“…You? But you’re so… small.”

“That’s what the man with the eye patch said… he said that I should come back in a few years. But I know I’m old enough to go! Those monsters don’t scare me! Besides, I don’t have to be very strong since I just patch people up when they’re hurt!” The girl seemed determined. Kojack stood up and hefted his sword over his shoulder.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Simone! What’s yours?”

“My name’s Kojack. It’s nice to meet you, Simone. So you’re a reject too, huh? Well, how about you and me team up? With my awesome skills and good looks, and your determination, there’s no telling how far we can go!”

Kojack and Simone entered the Explorer’s Guild once again. The man with the eye patch was reluctant, but he soon handed a guild sign-up sheet to the pair of them. Kojack wrote their names down, and paused for a second at the name of the guild. Well, he thought, since we’re a couple of rejects, that’ll be our name! The Rejects!

And so with The Rejects officially created, they headed off to the Labyrinth on their first mission to prove they were ready for action. Before long, a strange creature jumped out of the bushes.

“Look, Kojack! A mole! Isn’t it cute?” Simone, overcome by the creature’s cuteness, ran up to give it a pat on the head.

“Simone, wait! I heard that moles in this area aren’t very friendly!” Kojack tried to stop his new partner and attempted to grab her medical bag to stop her. But he wasn’t fast enough, and missed completely. Simone squatted down and stuck out her hand to show the mole she wasn’t a threat. The mole sniffed the hand presented to it, then stared at its owner, as if considering something. It then noticed Kojack, the tall individual with a sword similar to the kind other adventurers had… the adventurers that killed the mole’s friends!

Simone screamed as the mole vaulted off her head in an attempt to relieve Kojack of his jugular. But Kojack was ready, and stepped out of the way. Putting himself between the mole and Simone, he prepared for battle.

The mole pounced again, but missed Kojack’s neck once again and instead latched onto his ear. Kojack yelped in pain and swatted the mole away with his hand, which fell to the ground, landing on its nose. The mole ran off, hurt by the fall.

“Good lord, that hurt! It bit me in the ear!” Kojack held his ear with both hands. “Simone, can you use your medic powers to fix this? I won’t be able to meet any girls with a messed up ear like this!”

The bushes rustled behind the pair, and more moles jumped out. Apparently, the first mole had some friends.

“Simone, quick! Heal me! I need all the strength I can to fend off these savage beasts!”

“Uh, I uh… um… can’t…” Simone muttered softly.

“What do you mean you can’t?! Didn’t you prepare your skills?!” Kojack began to panic.

“Well yeah, but I prepared to Patch Up after battle! I don’t have the skills required to heal you during a fight!”

The moles pounced. Kojack felt the stinging barrage of mole claws and teeth from all sides as the evil hordes rained death upon him. It was too much; they had to retreat! Kojack and Simone ran as fast as they could, the legions of moles chasing them like flood waters. Off in the distance, they spotted a man clad in armour. It was the guard they were supposed to meet with! With a desperate gasp Kojack yelled out for help. The guard picked up his weapon and rushed forward, and the moles stopped in their tracks. They knew this guard well; he was very mean to the moles, and many of their comrades had fallen by his hand.

The moles ran off, and Kojack and Simone collapsed to the ground to catch their breath. Never before had Kojack ran like that; it was a personal best, for sure.

“Uh, are you guys alright? If you can’t even handle a few moles, how do you expect to explore the Labyrinth?” The guard helped Kojack and Simone to their feet.

“T-they just caught us off guard, right Simone?”

“Y-yeah, that’s right! We’ll get them next time!”

The Rejects’ road to glory had gotten off to a rocky start, but their resolve stood strong. After regaining their composer, Simone and Kojack were ready to explore! There was a long road ahead of them, but no forest was too big for The Rejects!

(My first time playing the game, I went out with only a Landsknecht and a Medic. I set my Medic's skills wrong and only had Patch Up and ended up having to run away from my second fight XD)
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About Kojackone of us since 2:18 PM on 05.24.2008