dark        

Joel Peterson blog header photo
Joel Peterson's c-blog
Fronts 82Posts 25Blogs 54Following 0Followers 44


 

 
 

Plot and Pacing on the Fury Road

I'm not going to lie; I am a man guilty of theft. I am the man who grabbed the sun (downloaded Mad Max: Fury Road on DVD) riding to Valhalla. I've seen the movie four times in theaters, three of those in 3D. And I have watched a cam recordi...

 
 
 

The Conversation

Last night I ate the best fucking hamburger I've ever had in my life. I also worked until almost two in the morning and had to wake up at eight with my kids. This is my life right now, but in the midst of the chaos of closing a restaurant, ...

 
 
 

Better With Age: Chess

In the midst of an anxiety fueled panic attack one day, I had to escape. It's difficult to explain the feeling of such a thing to those who haven't experienced it. I can only say that it is like a mental death of a kind. You feel like every...

 
 
 

Daggertits and Boob Nukem

There are a lot of things to blog about right now. The amazing news of legalized gay marriage is on the burner big time, and I actually have quite a bit to say about it. I'm playing three major games right now, and am mulling over some idea...

 
 
 

Games and Theory

The other day I was going through my bookshelf of eclectic reading materials and realized what a weirdo I am. Sonic the Hedgehog History. Modern Pin Up. A Dictionary of Mythology. Slaughterhouse Five. MYST. The History of the World. R...

 
 
 

Slave to the Grind

Today I am home sick. It has been a really shit few months for my family and I. A really bad year, actually. I have realized in that time that I am worse at more things than I am good at. I guess that's sort of a given, but when it aff...

 
 
 

Shit That Freaked Me Out As A Kid

There is a new survival horror game out guys! It's great. You are alone in a haunted wood. Or maybe it's a town. And all you have is a box of matches. And you can light the matches when something scary appears and it will make it go aw...

 
 
 

Dtoid Exclusive: "Rampage" Trailer Synopsis

So in a move that shocked no one, it was announced that the Midway arcade classic Rampage is finally getting the Hollywood treatment after decades of fan outcry. Starring Dwayne "Fiddlesticks" Johnson (as he would prefer to be called) ...

 
 
 

Cowardly Default

I don't want to dwell on too much negativity this morning, but upon reading the interview on Eurogamer with Destiny's creative director Luke Smith, where he "defended" the convoluted sales strategy of the new Taken King expansion for D...

 
 
 

Let's Make a Game

I am drooling over Mario Maker. Sometime after the release of the Nintendo 64, images and articles started being released about an art/game creation tool for the infamous 64 DD expansion called Mario Artist. I was stoked. I did what k...

 
 
 

What An Age To Be Alive

I sat around for part of the morning trying to make a fundamental decision; what do I trade in, for what? After the excitement of E3, my cousin and gaming partner got a PS4, excited over the announcement of a Final Fantasy VII remake....

 
 
 

When The Beginning is the End

Just shy of forty hours with a bunch of time spent in PvP, I completed Bloodborne the other night. Typically I don't dive into guides and FAQ's but the Lovecraftian world of the game really dragged me in and I was trying to suck every ...

 
 
 
 

MORE LIKE E-PEE, ha ha

E3 is a thing guys! Don't know how many of you are aware of that. It's an event where awkward men stand in front of a room and spout off pre-scripted COMEDY GOLD and then show us things they want all of us to buy forever. Because they ...

 
 
 

Video Games Didn't Save My Life

I remember the first time playing Depression Quest. I sat down, got a coffee, and took my medication. I had been off it for two days and was starting to feel the brain shocks attack me. I played for a few minutes, carefully read the di...

 
 
 

Bad Balls

E3 has begun. Arbeit Mach Frei; the hype train cometh. Nintendo announced the thing everyone in the world wanted; more Amiibos you won't be able to buy! The selection is great, and no one ever will own a single one of them. Just a hand...

 
 
 

What the Hell?

So pretty soon there is going to be a new DOOM. Bethesda released a generous one second trailer that showed a Revenant or whatever kind of making a skeleton screamy sound. Of course, it is now time for hype, because a few months before...

 
 
 
 

Racism as a Game Mechanic

There are two types of people; those who like H.P. Lovecraft, and those who roll around in mud, screaming in tongues and flinging feces at one another all day. Just big piles of feces being constantly exchanged in an endless, ultimatel...

 
 
 

Xbox One Troubleshooting Guide

Welcome to the Xbox One troubleshooting guide! As the title suggests, this guide is being distributed due to some of the slight performance issues experienced by a small percentage of new Xbox One owners in the hopes that most of these can ...

 
 
 

Console Reviews Are Fucking Shit

ORIGINAL QUOTE HERE There shouldn't be a lot to add to this, but there is. Most of the major game sites have posted their "reviews" of the new slew of consoles; little more, typically, than a breakdown of basic hardware, specs, and featu...

 
 
 

RoB FoRD'S REVIEW CORNER: Grand Theft Auto IV

Rob Ford here, perhaps better known THESE days as “the man who has unspecified allegations against him which do not pertain to this particular piece of writing so why bother mentioning them.” In my youth, I wrote a good yarn or two which I ...

 
 
 

Battlefjord 4

"Ohh damn! Oh shit! Ohh no, son! Oh, fuck that! Oh, snap! Oh, shit, I ain't signed up for this shit! Oh snap! Shit! Damn!" This is the campaign for Battlefield 4 in a nutshell. A microcosm of a much larger game that offers nothing remotely...

 
 
 

MY REVIEW: Call Of Duty NaNoWriMo 2013

What is there to be said about Call of Duty? It is a war simulator, one not much unlike real war. For if, as a soldier, one were to configure their control scheme in the middle of a firefight, one would certainly find themselves dead on the...

 
 

About Joel Petersonone of us since 8:14 AM on 11.07.2013

I write the things other people don't write, with liberal fart jokes thrown in for good measure. I like old games, old computers, old consoles, and old pizza.


Here are some blogs what I done did and were promoted to the front page.



Location: The Cold And The Beautiful



The Great Quest of Stupid



Fathers Day



I Have No VR And I Must Scream
 
BACK