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10 Things You Don't Know About Jesuses


"Jesuses" is indeed the plural of "Jesus." I looked it up.

I've been browsing Destructoid for almost two years now. In that time I feel like I've gotten to know a lot of you on an almost personal level. Not only do I recognize you from your avatars and usernames, but through your comments and blogs I've gotten a feel for your personalities, tastes, interests, and senses of humor. I feel like I know a lot of you. If we were to meet in person, I feel there would practically be no need for an introduction.

However, this account has only been active for about five months. I comment a fair amount, but I rarely blog, and I never go into IRC or the forums. You probably don't know shit about me. So, inspired (read: ripped off from) Silver Draagon's awesome blog from yesterday, here are ten things you may not know about me.

1) I'm grateful for all the drama that went down a few weeks ago. Sorry to bring this up as I'm sure we're all pretty sick of hearing about it and don't particularly care to remember it, but have you noticed anything different about Destructoid since it happened? Nick posting about Nintendo cereal, spontaneous hugging, Tyra Tuesday, BioToid? Destructoid has grown even more personal than it was before, somewhat in thanks to the "growing pain" of the last couple weeks.

2) I've only been a "hardcore" gamer for about two years. I don't mean I switched from nothing but browser-based flash games to the PS3. I've been gaming since I was about three years old, but it's only been in the last two that I've kept up with the industry, gotten into more indie titles, and generally had games be a bigger part of my life. Before I would play your Final Fantasies, Grand Theft Autos, the occasional Tony Hawk game, but now I play any triple A and not so triple A title I can get my hands on.

3) I regret getting rid of my old systems so much! This kind of ties into #2. Whenever a new system would come out I figured the logical thing to do would be to trade up for it, and this was before the days of backwards compatibility of course. I disparately wish I still had my NES, SNES, Genesis, Game Gear, Game Boy, Saturn, and Dreamcast. Alas, I was a tard.

4) As I've gotten older I have a lower tolerance for jRPGs. The games that originally turned gaming into more than just a hobby and into an obsession for me were jRPGs; Final Fantasy 7 and Super Mario RPG. I think the last jRPG I truly enjoyed was Final Fantasy X. I gave Lost Odyssey a fair shot and it just failed to resonate with me. I'm not sure what it is. Is it the grinding, the long cutscenes, the recycled stories, my lack of time now that I have to be an adult? Yes to all four. But with my recent rediscovery of my love of tacticals I'm hopeful that there is a jRPG out there somewhere to wean me back onto them. Thanks to DiscounToid, Persona 3: FES arrived in the mail today. Fingers crossed.

5) World of Warcraft can go fuck the Devil in Hell. I have some weird need to level. Watching my undead priest go from a level one wimp in rags to a level 60 healing machine was a pure joy for me. I played for a little over a year, and quit about two months after the first expansion came out. I had a total playtime between my characters of about two months. I tried playing again about a year ago and it made me sick. Running from enemy to enemy, simply right clicking and waiting for it to die. It was awful. But I love leveling up and the Warcraft universe so much, it makes me mad how little respect for my time that game has. Fuck it.

6) What my username says about me In a word; nothing. I'm not religious or anti-religious. I'm not fond of labels but if I had to choose a religious doctrine I'd call myself an agnostic. It's not that I'm on the fence or that I'm being non-committal. I feel that an absolute belief without proof in the existence of God is just as silly and irrational as an absolute belief with no proof in the absence of a god. Cthulhu fhtagn.

7) I'm learning Japanese. I've been learning for about three weeks now. There's a series of YouTube videos a drunk American English teacher living in Japan makes that I've been watching. I can say "Where is the toilet?" and "That guy is a motherfucker."

8) I've been making music since I was 15. I started learning guitar at 13 and joined a band a few years later. We sucked. Bad. I've mostly played in shitty grind/metal bands because it seems like everyone in South Carolina either wants to play that or Hot Topic music. A few years ago I decided to just start writing music on my own and making MIDI files out of what I wrote. There's a link to the Myspace page of a few of my songs in my side bar if you want to listen.

9) Here are some additional facts about me. I'm 23. I live in Columbia, South Carolina. I went to school for technical drafting (drawing blueprints) but I don't use my degree for my job. I work for a company called CSI that makes construction materials for buildings and bridges. Most drunk bimbos at bars think I do forensics when I tell them where I work. I have a cat named Mellow who recently scratched the paint off my wall in the shape of a cock. I just got done reading Y: The Last man.

10) I'm going to put a baby in each and every one of you.
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About Jesus H Christone of us since 8:46 PM on 09.15.2008

Jesus "H" Christ (May 13, 1922 April 25, 2009) was an American actress, comedian and singer whose career spanned seven decades. Christ achieved fame as the character Maude Findlay on the 1970s sitcoms All in the Family and Maude, and as Dorothy Zbornak on the 1980s sitcom The Golden Girls, winning Emmy Awards for both roles. A stage actress both before and after her television success, she won the Tony Award for Best Featured Actress in a Musical for her performance as Vera Charles in the original cast of Mame (1966).

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