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Why the PSP is better than the iPhone.

Inspired by Sony's advertisement depicting the iPhone as a gaming platform that isn't a gaming platform, I have decided to list all of the reasons that I can think of why the awful iPhone is worse than the PSP.

1. The PSP has higher prices. You're paying for quality, right? The PSP Mini's often have $5 games that cost a single dollar on the App store. You know why? Secret sauce. That's the only explanation.

2. The iPhone has no buttons. No gaming platform has ever done well when buttons are secondary. I mean, look at the Nintendo DS. A complete waste of space. Two screens means two times the suckage!

3. The PSP has a shorter battery life than the iPhone. It makes the games more enjoyable because you play them in shorter bursts!

4. The PSPGo. Sony is the only company that can release a device that failed so hard that they call it an experiment in consumer behavior. It isn't because it was a horrible idea, no way.

5. The iPhone has Noby Noby Boy. So what if it's my Game of All Games? The iPhone is so bad, even Noby Noby Boy doesn't make it any more appealing. Even if my review of it says otherwise.

6. id's 5th game engine is on the iPhone and not the PSP. It's because it can't handle the PSP, obviously. Why else would they choose an inferior system?

7. There are, like, a million bajillion people with iPhones compared to PSP's. Smaller markets are better because they're more predictable! Bigger markets means your product won't sell because it's hard to predict a million bajillion people. It's BUSINESS, man.

8. Fart apps. No one has released them on the PSP because Sony knows it won't sell.

9: PSP commercials are better. Would you rather have gangster squirrels talking about nuts, or a nerd and a cool guy maybe making some sort of funny jokes that aren't stupidly racist?

10: Pirating. The PSP doesn't have this problem, while the iPhone has jailbreaking. Jailbreaking is legal, too, so people don't have any repercussions to, while pirating on the PSP is non-existent.

There, my list of reasons why the PSP is better then the iPhone. It was easy to write this list, because the PSP is so awesome!

Now, pardon this abrupt ending, but I'm going to go purchase a PSP game from my computer for free.
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About HoodedMiracleone of us since 2:00 PM on 11.22.2009


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