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Parallax Scroll

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Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.


A year and a half ago I was very, very pleased with my Nintendo Wii. It was definitely my console of choice at that point in time. I've always been a retro gamer at heart (except when it was called modern gaming, but that was 20+ years ago), and the Wii never bored me. I always had something to play. I don't mean from the Wii's underwhelming library of games. For those who don't feel like the Wii has many good games going for it now, look back 18 months ago.

It was the Virtual Console that kept me coming back to the Wii in it's one year life-span, while I let my roommate's 360 collect the dust. That was at the peak of my Wii-love. It was then that I had ordered adapters to use my original controllers from all of Nintendo's systems. Now I could play the games I loved exactly how I remembered them. I was in heaven.

For about a month.

I bought so many new games on the Virtual Console in those weeks that I ran out of room on Wii's system memory. I tried to make things work for a while after that. I really did. I deleted a few games that I wouldn't play all that much whenever a "Best Week Ever" hit. Then came Wii Ware and Lost Winds. I had to delete a bunch of games for that. Like Sophie, I agonized as I had to decide which of my 8 through 64-bit children had to die (NOOOOOOOooooooo! Not ExciteBike!).

Finally I'd had enough. To buy a NES game would be a 20 minute process of debate, then backup, then delete, then download. "Fuck you, Nintendo," I yelled. If they didn't want to take my money (pure profit) for games that had already been developed up to two decades ago, then the hell with them.

Soon after, I set out to regain the lost video game library that was handed down to my little brothers and ultimately given away for good. Weeks of scouring eBay paid off when I came across an NES that had never been taken out of its box. I traded a $50 bottle of Japanese whiskey with one of my best friends, and netted a near-mint, barely used Sega Genesis in return. They joined my SNES and other consoles that were mine outright and never given away. Now I could play Metroid and Granada (it's awesome. Look it up), without any kind of extended hassle.

Who needs Nintendo anyway? They didn't want me or my money. And as time went on they even went about insulting me directly. My next step was to buy a PS3. I then got re-addicted to real modern gaming. One price drop later and I could finally play Lost Odyssey on my new Red-Ring in training. Finally the Wii was picking up the hobby of dust collecting ("This particle here goes back to the Revolutionary War!").

Well, Nintendo seems to have finally learned their lesson. This week they released firmware version 4.0. I can now pull games directly from my SD card. It's not the harddrive that we were waiting for. In actuality, it was a week's worth of program development, tops, that took them years. But I'm a man of my word. You gave me a storage solution. So, I'm giving you money. I downloaded nearly $50 worth of games from the Virtual Console this morning. I played them and my other games for hours. I now look at my Wii in a positive light.

Wait a second. Don't be so quick there, Nintendo. All is not forgiven. When a long-term friendship falls apart in such a way, it can take a long time to rebuild. But this is a good start. You know what, though? The trailer for Punch-Out looks exactly how I always wished a modern sequel to one of my top five games would look and play. A sequel to The Phantom Hourglass, one of my favorite games in my all-time favorite franchise, looks really promising. That's all going to go a long way.

Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
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About Haxanone of us since 11:13 AM on 10.23.2007

Occasional contributer to Tomopop.com.

Random gaming facts about Haxan

Legitimately beat Mike Tyson and went through Another World Circuit undefeated.

Beat the original Contra without dying. Twice.

Can land the damn plane in Top Gun and can also refuel in midair.

Can't beat Ghost & Goblins without the level select code and has never lied about it.

Thinks Friday the 13th is a great game even if the physics, controls and weapons are garbage.

Mario Paint caused him to buy a Super Nintendo and largely leave his Sega Genesis behind. He has played it more than most video games and wore down the mouse pad so that the grid only shows around the corners.

Has beaten Street Fighter II: The World Warrior and Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on the SNES on the hardest difficulty without losing a single round. Multiple times.

Is still friends with the girl who worked at a local game store and sold him Street Fighter II nearly 17 years ago.

Beat Final Fantasy 2 in a weekend when he was a kid, yet can't get through a role-playing game these days if his life depended on it.

Has never beaten Final Fantasy VII.

Prefers pads to sticks.

Likes the N64 controller.

Prefers the Duke to the S-controller.

Doesn't think that Super Mario 64 is all that great.

Got an Xbox mostly for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And thinks it's a damn good game. Really.

Swore he would never buy a Game Boy Advanced SP, but immediately broke down once the NES edition came out. (And regarding the NES Classics series, true in-store dialogue: "Dude, are you serious?! They seriously expect people to pay 20 dollars a piece for games they can just downlo...Ooh! Zelda!")

Really liked the first Halo. (Well, there goes my dtoid cred.)

Can rock out Dynamite Rave in Dance Dance Revolution like it's nobody's business.

Played the hell out of Animal Crossing: Wild World and hid that fact from nobody.

Stomped Brad Nicholson at Street Fighter IV, but had to resort to the cheapest of tactics in order to do so. ;)

Thinks you're really, really, really smart. And pretty.

Top ten favorite games (in no particular order):

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (NES)
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
Phantom 2040 (SNES)
Street Fighter II (any version)
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)
Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES)
Ico (PS2)
Sin and Punishment (N64)
Picross (DS)


I love drawing, though I realize that I'm not very good. I figured early on that drawing my own header art would help my blogs stand out. Thanks to Destructoid, and to the scanner that Carollelogram got me for my birthday last year, I feel like I've developed a unique style that's distinctly my own.

Outside of games I've got a DVD collection that is exploding out of a 5'x6' shelf (over 400 titles). So suffice it to say that I love movies. I'm a huge horror fan and I host an annual Dusk Till Dawn Horror Movie Marathon nearly every October. My top ten favorite films in order are as follows:

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cativo, 1966)
2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
3. Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai, 1954)
4. The City of Lost Children (La Cit� des enfants perdus, 1995)
5. The Apartment (1960)
6. Strings (2004)
7. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
8. The Big Lebowski (1998)
9. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Music-wise, my top 3 bands are The Pixies, The Velvet Underground and Radiohead. I listen to damn near every genre of music (except modern country. I yearn for the days of Hank Williams, Sr. and Tammy Wynette). Hit random on my mp3 player and you'll get everything from darkwave to hip hop to 80's synthpop. I karaoke pretty regularly. I can't sing, but I surround myself with people who can. Still, you've not experienced all there is in life until you've seen me proper butcher True by Spandau Ballet.

Then, as for the literary interests, my love lies with pulp detective novels of the thirties and forties. Raymond Chandler is simply the greatest ever. And Dashiell Hammett is just fantastic. Lately, I've been reading through Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles at Carollelogram's recommendation. Two books in and I have to say they're astonishing.

If you do the Twitter thing, Haxan1 is my handle should you want to follow me.

Feel free to friend me to your console of choice should you ever want to play a game of Street Fighter. Just be sure to let me know that you're from Destructoid and you'll get the royal treatment.

Blogs I writed:

Virtual Console Review- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Review- Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Front Page
Other Worlds Than These: The citizens of the land of Termina
Community spotlight: Haxan goes above and beyond for the community

Monthly Musings
Instant Replay: Street Fighter II
The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

Editorials and assorted articles
Does the Wii have RROD-type issues of its own?
Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
Niero, do you have any idea what in the lobster milkshake you have done?! (dtoid 3rd anniversary post)
10 things you might not have known about Haxan (but really only 8)
Why Destructoid is awesome: Nilcam is the greatest edition (I honestly can't give Nilcam enough props for this.)
Christmas shopping: Non-gaming, priest dad-style
Bad Dye Job: A Darius Pickman Story
"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!
Nintendon't what?! Now you tell me just what the %#@$ Nintendon't do!

Neat stuff I played a bit part in
The Destructoid children's alphabet book


Xbox LIVE:haxan1
PSN ID:Haxan
Mii code:8490 3559 2301 7665


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