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LONG BLOG

Destroy Haxan, Win SFIV Contest: Cheapest Player Nominee 1

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[One of the prizes being given away in The Destroy Haxan, Win Street Fighter IV Contest is a prize for the Cheapest Player. Like the title, the prize will also be cheap, since I'm spending a ton on the other prizes. Each week I am going to present a nomination and the reasons why their scrub strategy is noteworthy. At the end of the contest in early January, I will leave it to you to vote for the best.]


What makes for a good scrub strategy? Yeah, we know about cheap playing. Turtle, fireball, counter with upwards special. Psycho crusher spamming. Playing at all with Akuma. These are certainly valid and very effective strategies. But they're something that anyone can do. Certain individuals, however take it to the next level. They bring in a level of cheapness that comes from outside of the game itself. One of the best of these individuals in C2C Shiro.

C2C is a true genius of psychological street fighting. He's much like an FBI profiler. He got into my head, found my weaknesses and proceeded to exploit. I have intercepted some of Mr. Shiro's notes that he put together in an effort to bring me down and secure himself a copy of Street Fighter IV. I will reprint some of them here:

"He works the midnight shift. He seldom gets days off. What does that do to a person. If I'm this guy, how would I feel? What would I do? I think I'd get home and need a drink, that's what. I'm thinking that beer just isn't going to cut it. I think I'd need hard liquor. I feel that Haxan is probably a bourbon man. And he probably drinks it straight, on the rocks. And this is the holiday season. And liquor comes in the gift packs, usually with glasses. I feel that he'd probably spring for one of those. Maybe Jim Beam Black.

"I imagine that he'd probably kick back with a retro style shooter of some sort, to help him unwind from all of the tension. So I feel the best time to hit him up on live would be somtime in the late morning when the alcohol had time to kick in. He'd be a bit off kilter. His senses duller. His reflexes slower."

At 11:30am last Monday, he pounced into attack, catching me completely unawares while playing Geometry Wars 2. I had just finished 2nd two fingers of Jack Daniels. I drink it neat. He got the bit about the ice wrong. I did want Jim Beam Black, but the gift set came with maraschino cherries and I wanted glasses. He did get some minor details wrong, but he was pretty much dead-on. He challenged me to his matches and had the better of me.

C2C Shiro: My first nomination for cheapest fighter. My advice to the rest of you is to not let him get into your head. It can be dangerous.
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About Haxanone of us since 11:13 AM on 10.23.2007


Occasional contributer to Tomopop.com.

Random gaming facts about Haxan

Legitimately beat Mike Tyson and went through Another World Circuit undefeated.

Beat the original Contra without dying. Twice.

Can land the damn plane in Top Gun and can also refuel in midair.

Can't beat Ghost & Goblins without the level select code and has never lied about it.

Thinks Friday the 13th is a great game even if the physics, controls and weapons are garbage.

Mario Paint caused him to buy a Super Nintendo and largely leave his Sega Genesis behind. He has played it more than most video games and wore down the mouse pad so that the grid only shows around the corners.

Has beaten Street Fighter II: The World Warrior and Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on the SNES on the hardest difficulty without losing a single round. Multiple times.

Is still friends with the girl who worked at a local game store and sold him Street Fighter II nearly 17 years ago.

Beat Final Fantasy 2 in a weekend when he was a kid, yet can't get through a role-playing game these days if his life depended on it.

Has never beaten Final Fantasy VII.

Prefers pads to sticks.

Likes the N64 controller.

Prefers the Duke to the S-controller.

Doesn't think that Super Mario 64 is all that great.

Got an Xbox mostly for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And thinks it's a damn good game. Really.

Swore he would never buy a Game Boy Advanced SP, but immediately broke down once the NES edition came out. (And regarding the NES Classics series, true in-store dialogue: "Dude, are you serious?! They seriously expect people to pay 20 dollars a piece for games they can just downlo...Ooh! Zelda!")

Really liked the first Halo. (Well, there goes my dtoid cred.)

Can rock out Dynamite Rave in Dance Dance Revolution like it's nobody's business.

Played the hell out of Animal Crossing: Wild World and hid that fact from nobody.

Stomped Brad Nicholson at Street Fighter IV, but had to resort to the cheapest of tactics in order to do so. ;)

Thinks you're really, really, really smart. And pretty.

Top ten favorite games (in no particular order):

•The Legend of Zelda (NES)
•Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (NES)
•The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
•Phantom 2040 (SNES)
•Street Fighter II (any version)
•Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)
•Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES)
•Ico (PS2)
•Sin and Punishment (N64)
•Picross (DS)



(NVGR)

I love drawing, though I realize that I'm not very good. I figured early on that drawing my own header art would help my blogs stand out. Thanks to Destructoid, and to the scanner that Carollelogram got me for my birthday last year, I feel like I've developed a unique style that's distinctly my own.

Outside of games I've got a DVD collection that is exploding out of a 5'x6' shelf (over 400 titles). So suffice it to say that I love movies. I'm a huge horror fan and I host an annual Dusk Till Dawn Horror Movie Marathon nearly every October. My top ten favorite films in order are as follows:

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cativo, 1966)
2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
3. Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai, 1954)
4. The City of Lost Children (La Citι des enfants perdus, 1995)
5. The Apartment (1960)
6. Strings (2004)
7. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
8. The Big Lebowski (1998)
9. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Music-wise, my top 3 bands are The Pixies, The Velvet Underground and Radiohead. I listen to damn near every genre of music (except modern country. I yearn for the days of Hank Williams, Sr. and Tammy Wynette). Hit random on my mp3 player and you'll get everything from darkwave to hip hop to 80's synthpop. I karaoke pretty regularly. I can't sing, but I surround myself with people who can. Still, you've not experienced all there is in life until you've seen me proper butcher True by Spandau Ballet.

Then, as for the literary interests, my love lies with pulp detective novels of the thirties and forties. Raymond Chandler is simply the greatest ever. And Dashiell Hammett is just fantastic. Lately, I've been reading through Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles at Carollelogram's recommendation. Two books in and I have to say they're astonishing.

If you do the Twitter thing, Haxan1 is my handle should you want to follow me.

Feel free to friend me to your console of choice should you ever want to play a game of Street Fighter. Just be sure to let me know that you're from Destructoid and you'll get the royal treatment.



Blogs I writed:


Reviews
•Virtual Console Review- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
•Review- Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Front Page
•Other Worlds Than These: The citizens of the land of Termina
•Community spotlight: Haxan goes above and beyond for the community

Monthly Musings
•Instant Replay: Street Fighter II
•The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

Editorials and assorted articles
•Does the Wii have RROD-type issues of its own?
•Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
•Niero, do you have any idea what in the lobster milkshake you have done?! (dtoid 3rd anniversary post)
•10 things you might not have known about Haxan (but really only 8)
•Why Destructoid is awesome: Nilcam is the greatest edition (I honestly can't give Nilcam enough props for this.)
•Christmas shopping: Non-gaming, priest dad-style
•Bad Dye Job: A Darius Pickman Story
•"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!
•Nintendon't what?! Now you tell me just what the %#@$ Nintendon't do!

Neat stuff I played a bit part in
•The Destructoid children's alphabet book

https://profiles.us.playstation.com/playstation/psn/visit/profiles/Haxan




Xbox LIVE:haxan1
PSN ID:Haxan
Mii code:8490 3559 2301 7665


 

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