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Parallax Scroll

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Christmas Shopping: Non-Gaming, Priest Dad-Style

What video game do you buy for a priest as a Christmas gift? That question was just posed to me. My ex-girlfriend (yeah, that girl that used to pop up somehow in every c-blog I ever wrote... we broke up. Still best friends though. It's goo...


The Sad News About Mega Man 9's Retro Goodness

For those of you who are like me and were really looking forward to getting your Mega Man 9 on in full-on Retro Mode with your NES controller, I've got some terrible news. The game isn't compatible with Game Cube controllers. As a result,...


Instant Replay: Street Fighter II

Street Fighter II is not a game that I would not stop playing just because Bison was lying motionless and broken at my feet. I was twelve the first time I played Street Fighter II: The World Warrior at a bowling alley. I was ten seconds ...


Bad Die Job: A Darious Pickman Story (Part 5 of 5)

*This is the fifth and final part of my entry in Conrad Zimmerman's Dreamcast Giveaway Contest (link here). **UPDATE: I won!** Previous entries can be found here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4. Enjoy.* "Can't we talk about this like ci...


Bad Die Job: A Darious Pickman Story (Part 4 of 5)

*This is part four of my entry in Conrad Zimmerman's Dreamcast Giveaway Contest (link here). **UPDATE: I won!** Tomorrow night I will release the final chapter. Previous entries can be found here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3. Enjoy.* I was h...


Bad Die Job: A Darious Pickman Story (Part 3 of 5)

*This is part three of my entry in Conrad Zimmerman's Dreamcast Giveaway Contest (link here). **UPDATE: I won!** I will be releasing one part a day between now and July 7th, when the contest ends. Previous entries can be found here: Part 1,...


Bad Die Job: A Darious Pickman Story (Part 2 of 5)

*This is part two of my entry in Conrad Zimmerman's Dreamcast Giveaway Contest (link here). **UPDATE: I won!** Part one can be found here. I will be releasing one part a day between now and July 7th, when the contest ends. Enjoy.* It did...


Bad Die Job: A Darious Pickman Story (Part 1 of 5)

*This is part one of my entry in Conrad Zimmerman's Dreamcast Giveaway Contest (link here). **UPDATE: I won!** A little background: My Dreamcast died some time ago. Last year my amazingly awesome girlfriend, Carollelogram, lent me hers to u...


The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

My little cousin. That spoiled brat had everything. And by everything, I should make clear that I mean "EVERYTHING". My older brother and I had an Atari 2600 when we were very wee. And on it we were quite content to play Combat, Spider-Ma...


"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!

Congratulations, RetroforceGO! on your first year, your first 50 episodes and for what the future holds for you all! I would like to thank the entire Retroforce crew. I've been lurking/listening since the 2nd episode, and it has given me ...


Metroid 2 Remake in playable form! And it's awesome!

Last month I posted about a courageous individual, Milton (the Magnificent] from Argentina who has been working away at a remake for the original Gameboy Classic Metroid 2. I did end it with a note of skepticism over whether it would ever s...


Fap, fap, fap... Metroid 2 Remake... Fap, fap, fap

Okay, this is just really friggin' awesome! Like Unbelievably awesome. Like amazingly unbelievably awesome. Like, the sort of awesome that you only get the slightest glimpse of, but then that glimpse moves you to the point of obsession. An ...


About Haxanone of us since 11:13 AM on 10.23.2007

Occasional contributer to Tomopop.com.

Random gaming facts about Haxan

Legitimately beat Mike Tyson and went through Another World Circuit undefeated.

Beat the original Contra without dying. Twice.

Can land the damn plane in Top Gun and can also refuel in midair.

Can't beat Ghost & Goblins without the level select code and has never lied about it.

Thinks Friday the 13th is a great game even if the physics, controls and weapons are garbage.

Mario Paint caused him to buy a Super Nintendo and largely leave his Sega Genesis behind. He has played it more than most video games and wore down the mouse pad so that the grid only shows around the corners.

Has beaten Street Fighter II: The World Warrior and Super Street Fighter II: The New Challengers on the SNES on the hardest difficulty without losing a single round. Multiple times.

Is still friends with the girl who worked at a local game store and sold him Street Fighter II nearly 17 years ago.

Beat Final Fantasy 2 in a weekend when he was a kid, yet can't get through a role-playing game these days if his life depended on it.

Has never beaten Final Fantasy VII.

Prefers pads to sticks.

Likes the N64 controller.

Prefers the Duke to the S-controller.

Doesn't think that Super Mario 64 is all that great.

Got an Xbox mostly for Buffy: The Vampire Slayer. And thinks it's a damn good game. Really.

Swore he would never buy a Game Boy Advanced SP, but immediately broke down once the NES edition came out. (And regarding the NES Classics series, true in-store dialogue: "Dude, are you serious?! They seriously expect people to pay 20 dollars a piece for games they can just downlo...Ooh! Zelda!")

Really liked the first Halo. (Well, there goes my dtoid cred.)

Can rock out Dynamite Rave in Dance Dance Revolution like it's nobody's business.

Played the hell out of Animal Crossing: Wild World and hid that fact from nobody.

Stomped Brad Nicholson at Street Fighter IV, but had to resort to the cheapest of tactics in order to do so. ;)

Thinks you're really, really, really smart. And pretty.

Top ten favorite games (in no particular order):

The Legend of Zelda (NES)
Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (NES)
The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask (N64)
Phantom 2040 (SNES)
Street Fighter II (any version)
Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence (PS2)
Final Fantasy 3/6 (SNES)
Ico (PS2)
Sin and Punishment (N64)
Picross (DS)


I love drawing, though I realize that I'm not very good. I figured early on that drawing my own header art would help my blogs stand out. Thanks to Destructoid, and to the scanner that Carollelogram got me for my birthday last year, I feel like I've developed a unique style that's distinctly my own.

Outside of games I've got a DVD collection that is exploding out of a 5'x6' shelf (over 400 titles). So suffice it to say that I love movies. I'm a huge horror fan and I host an annual Dusk Till Dawn Horror Movie Marathon nearly every October. My top ten favorite films in order are as follows:

1. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cativo, 1966)
2. Night of the Living Dead (1968)
3. Seven Samurai (Shichinin no Samurai, 1954)
4. The City of Lost Children (La Cit� des enfants perdus, 1995)
5. The Apartment (1960)
6. Strings (2004)
7. Heavenly Creatures (1994)
8. The Big Lebowski (1998)
9. Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
10. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)

Music-wise, my top 3 bands are The Pixies, The Velvet Underground and Radiohead. I listen to damn near every genre of music (except modern country. I yearn for the days of Hank Williams, Sr. and Tammy Wynette). Hit random on my mp3 player and you'll get everything from darkwave to hip hop to 80's synthpop. I karaoke pretty regularly. I can't sing, but I surround myself with people who can. Still, you've not experienced all there is in life until you've seen me proper butcher True by Spandau Ballet.

Then, as for the literary interests, my love lies with pulp detective novels of the thirties and forties. Raymond Chandler is simply the greatest ever. And Dashiell Hammett is just fantastic. Lately, I've been reading through Frank Herbert's Dune Chronicles at Carollelogram's recommendation. Two books in and I have to say they're astonishing.

If you do the Twitter thing, Haxan1 is my handle should you want to follow me.

Feel free to friend me to your console of choice should you ever want to play a game of Street Fighter. Just be sure to let me know that you're from Destructoid and you'll get the royal treatment.

Blogs I writed:

Virtual Console Review- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
Review- Dead Rising: Chop Till You Drop

Front Page
Other Worlds Than These: The citizens of the land of Termina
Community spotlight: Haxan goes above and beyond for the community

Monthly Musings
Instant Replay: Street Fighter II
The Start of the Affair: Solomon's Key

Editorials and assorted articles
Does the Wii have RROD-type issues of its own?
Okay, Nintendo. I guess that we can be friends again.
Niero, do you have any idea what in the lobster milkshake you have done?! (dtoid 3rd anniversary post)
10 things you might not have known about Haxan (but really only 8)
Why Destructoid is awesome: Nilcam is the greatest edition (I honestly can't give Nilcam enough props for this.)
Christmas shopping: Non-gaming, priest dad-style
Bad Dye Job: A Darius Pickman Story
"Congraturation" RetroforceGO!
Nintendon't what?! Now you tell me just what the %#@$ Nintendon't do!

Neat stuff I played a bit part in
The Destructoid children's alphabet book