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LONG BLOG

Valentine�s Day, Shmalentine�s.....Shmay.

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Ah Valentine�s Day. Love, romance, intimacy.......or, if you live in the real world, depression, loneliness and isolation. True love, or as it�s also known The Greatest Lie Ever Told, has been portrayed in games many times, taunting us with their unattainable promises of devotion to one another and daring feats to protect the one you love. But we�re not here to talk about those games, we�re here to talk about the games that aren�t afraid to tell it like it is, the games that stand up and say �That�s not the way it happens!�, the games that rip out your still beating heart and step on it in five inch heels. Why write this you ask? Well I can tell you I�m certainly not bitter because someone broke up with me just before Valentine�s Day that�s for certain.....I don�t even care!

Besides it was either this or a blog about how I want spend Valentine�s Day eating heart shaped steak with Chie.

Tidus and Yuna.

The PS2s golden couple might seem like a great pair on the surface, but dig a little deeper and you�ll find that this house of love was built on a foundation of lies. You see Tidus isn�t real, or he�s from the past, or the future, or he�s a dream, or a summon or something I�m not sure. Anyway the point is once the adventure is over and it�s time to settle down he disappears, because that�s what a real relationship is, someone sticking around till all the excitement is over and then leaving once shit gets real. Poor Yuna was left with all sorts of abandonment and self esteem issues, she started dressing in hot pants and fell in with a bad crowd, it�s a good thing they didn�t make a game of that because it would be terrible.


I heard she found someone new though!

So there you have it, some of the few games that aren�t afraid to face reality. So when you�re handing her jewellery or giving him aftershave just keep two things in mind.
#1 These games.
#2 Eventually your relationship will crash and burn until you�re left kneeling in the charred ashes of what was once your heart, burned down by the person you trusted most with it when you learn that they didn�t really care for you, they were just toying with your love like a kitten with a ball of wool, digging their claws into you until all you thought that was pure and innocent in this world becomes a rotten visage for all the pain and suffering you went through for their sick enjoyment.....................Happy Valentine�s Day!

P.S. Surprise! I wrote about Final Fantasy and Metal Gear again. I love those games but god damn they�re easy targets. Will this exciting and uncreative trend continue? Tune in next time to find out!
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About Handyone of us since 1:44 PM on 09.14.2009

Welcome to the blog.... you must be bored. anyway im Handy, I'm a student in Ireland and I'm here to talk about whatever may come into my mind....so not much then.

Lets see... I�ve been playing games pretty much my whole life, since my Commodore back in the day to my ps3 now I�ve been hooked. Actually come to think of it I can�t remember a time I wasn�t playing games. Can�t say I have a favourite genre, I like to try a bit of everything, though I will go to town on a good RPG. I�ll have something to fill in this space as soon as my life becomes interesting.

^^^ Seriously, I wrote that like four years ago and still nothing interesting has happened.



Like everyone else on Destructoid I�m at a loss on what to fill this space with so I guess I�ll just catalogue my greatest hits, if you can call a loose collection of lists and borderline pornographic fanart �greatest hits�.



Listmania � Because liking something isn�t as important as liking it in the correct order.

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs: Part two

Gamings Greatest Slinky Invisible Women with Huge Asses

E3 Approaches: The E3 survival guide!

Something about E3: 34 things you�ll have to hear soon

Lost? Lonely? Looking for Love?

Gaming�s worst legal guardians

Gaming DIY

Valentine�s Day, Shmalentine�s.....Shmay

Get a new look at the Gaming Salon!

Hatesgiving

The NPC survival guide

Game lessons that don�t work in real life



Fanart Flops � Because you must suffer.

Fanart Flops: Back by (Un)Popular Demand

Fanart Flops: Eyebleach, I Choose You Edition

Fanart Flops: Octopus Hojo Edition

Fanart Flops: Stop Raping My Childhood Edition

Fanart Flops. (Possibly NSFW)



Wankery � The terrible results of when I pretend I�m smart.

Dear Industry: I Am Not a Psychopath

Final Fantasy Versus Itself

Only Human


The culture Gap



Sargasm � Because I�m kind of a dick.

Darksiders 2 in a nutshell

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

How Dare You, Capcom

Death to Red Shepard!

How to make a sequel

Why FFXIII is the worst one EVAR!

The Scandalous Scam of Samit Sarkar!

In the name of SCIENCE!!!




Front page � When Destructoid has terrible lapses in judgement.


Top 12 Videogame porno parodies (NSFW)

Handy�s X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs

Comments of the Week: Busst Stop

Comments of the week: George Michael Warfare 3



Don�t forget Comments of the Week

Comments of the Week: Tinfoil Hat Edition







Just because.
PSN ID:Handy2


 

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