Remember those games from your childhood? The ones that take up some prime real estate in your heart? One of particular significance for me was Sonic the Hedgehog. Things were so much simpler back then.....the closest thing to a personality Sonic had was a wagging finger and the occasional raised eyebrow, Tails was Tails because he had two tails, and Knuckles defining feature was (take a guess) his knuckles, and the fact that he kind of looked like a Predator.
But these days, Sonic is some sort of extreme sports werewolf, Tails is a nuclear physicist, and Knuckles is a tsundere. And then there are the friends, each one stupider than the last, each one another nail in the coffin of his legacy. I yearn for those days when the only objective was to go from left to right. But some, some actually enjoy things the way they are, and in todayís Fanart Flops we explore the warped minds of these individuals and the demented scribbles they call fanart, as well as some other childhood icons to break things up. (Warning this post contains extreme levels of stupidity and creepiness and for once itís not coming from me.) You guys....Sonic is like.....super serious and emotional you guys. Itís like itís begging me for a mercy kill. *Sigh*.....normally I try to avoid swearing too much in a blog but I canít describe most of these pictures without saying how this shit is so fucking stupid. Knuckles doesnít have fingers, HE CANíT MAKE THAT GESTURE! I....I just donít.....I canít really........what? Did you think that title was a figure of speech? Is it me or does that really look like Minnie Mouse? Apparently Sonic is some sort of dick who stands people up and then forgets about it. Waluigi makes his now required appearance as our mascot. So now we have anthropomorphic hedgehogs cross-dressing as anthropomorphic bunnies. Thatís got to be at least three fetishes in one. INTERMISSION!
Iíd like to take this intermission as an opportunity to address something thatís been bothering me for decades...
Sonic does not have two eyes. He has one gigantic eye with two pupils. Yes, I worry about the biology of a talking blue hedgehog. This intermission was brought to you by Cillian Murphy fanart.
Back to the blog! Did you ever wonder what Sonic would look like if he was real? No? Congratulations, youíre normal, but here it is anyway.
One thing thatís big in the Sonic fanart community is to create your own original Sonic character.
And by original I mean change the colour, then name it after yourself. Not the most imaginative thing Iíve ever seen. Sometimes they get really creative and change where the spikes go too! And when they actually do something original it turns out like this. Iíve got to admire the effort it takes to make a snail look homeless considering they carry their house on their back. Yes letís all gather around Amy and watch her breastfeed, nothing creepy Ďbout that. YOU BASTARD! YOUíVE RUINED THE BEST POKEMON! Domestic violence is a big part of the Sonic lore. Nope, human Sonic still isnít a good idea. It will never be a good idea. Hey, Iím not here to judge. Iíll let everyone in the comments handle this one. In case youíre wondering, this is the point where I said ďfuck thisĒ and stopped looking for pictures. Handyís Fanart
This time Iíve decided to create my own completely original Sonic character. I definitely didnít take any inspiration from the incredibly lazy methods you saw before, I got really creative with this one, itís not just a pallet swap of Sonic with different spikes and I totally didnít name him after myself.
Itís called Handy the Handhog.
See how creative and original it is? And when he jumps he curls into a fist! God, Iím so unique
That does it for this edition of Fanart Flops, I donít know about you but Iím going to go drink till Iíve wiped these images from my mind. A bottle of Toilet Duck should do the trick.
LOOK WHO CAME: