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A quarter-acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people, but to me it's a lot.

 
 

In honor of the 24 Hours of LeMans: The first fuel used in auto racing was called formula one.

 
 

People might think I'm a bit of a square, but that just means I'm exactly right on every angle.

 
 

Training in the morning makes you feel better in the long run.

 
 
 

When I suggested that my wife should alphabetize her recipes, she would have nothing of the sort.

 
 
 

When the four quadrants got together in jail they formed a vicious circle.

 
 

The storm chaser was so fascinated by tornadoes that he tended to get carried away.

 
 

My friend is afraid of two things: A small paycheck and chickens. I asked him if a poultry sum terrifies him.

 
 

Did you hear about the new bamboo trees at the zoo? It was pandamonium out there!

 
 

Exit sign manufacturers are reporting a shortage of the stencils needed to create the signs. In the meantime, price increases for the signs have become an exit stencil reality.

 
 

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

 
 

My dog swallowed my engagement ring. I ended up with a diamond in the ruff.

 
 

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

 
 

With certain cashiers, things are slow to register.

 
 
 

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

 
 

On the shelf there are ten math books, five geography books, and the rest is history. (Happy birthday to the person who likes MechWarriors, I mean Gundam. :P )

 
 

Dissatisfied with the lack of thoroughness in the demolition of the old tavern, he got into the bulldozer himself and razed the bar to a new level.

 
 

The invention of dynamite sure was ground breaking.

 
 

I have a pebble that looks like a pick. I keep it for rock music.

 
 

I applied for a job as a weatherman, but my knowledge of meteorology was a little cloudy.

 
 

I'm bad at math, so the equation 2n+2n is 4n to me. (Thanks for all the birthday wishes! :D )

 
 

If children were allowed to dig for coal, would they still be miners? (Also it's my birthday)

 
 

Why do archers shoot arrows? Could it be they are trying to get a point across?

 
 

Eve showed up one morning wearing flowers instead of a fig leaf. She was the first woman to wear bloomers.

 
 
 

When the head of the consulting team suggested that the canal around the castle be filled up with cement, he was demoted.

 
 

I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day.

 
 

About Gus TT Showbizone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.

 
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