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When you're wearing a watch on an airplane, time flies.


I wanted to bid at the silent auction, but it was not aloud.


When one is afflicted with loss of balance they never quite know vertigo.


The high school music teacher was quite controversial. He told his students to read band books.


I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest. Also bonus picture cause this weekend is MUCH needed.


Why not take a break in the south of France? You've nothing Toulouse.


Two strangers skated to the middle of a frozen pond and broke the ice. They also broke through and died. It's really a chilling tale.


If you work in a forestry company you will probably have to log your time.


It's OK to borrow a book from the public library once in a while, but try not to overdue it.


When Wally discovered he had Lyme disease, he was really ticked off.


My battery had an alkaline problem, so it went to AA meetings.


Ever since I switched to wrinkle free shirts my laundry issues have been less pressing.


Finished StarCraft II, my angst against final "bosses" continue.


He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.


When an escaped prisoner was caught camping out in the woods it was a clear case of criminal in tent.


I was playing DnD last night, and one of the characters got petrified. I asked if he was okay, I was met with stony silence.


After cosmetic surgery the pelican faced a huge bill.


My pet feline fell into a bowl of seltzer water yesterday. She's been cat-a-tonic ever since.


A bachelor is a guy who is footloose and fiancee-free.


A bike in town keeps running me over. It's a vicious cycle.


I ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant who she said she knew me, but I never met herbivore!


Finally beat Wolfenstein II. The last fight was annoying as crap.


When a skunk walked in, the judge said, 'odor in the court'.


Due to the cabbage crop failure it was really hard to get ahead!


After manually rotating the heavy machinery, the worker grew very cranky.


About Gus TT Showbizone of us since 10:54 AM on 05.23.2013

A purveyor of puns to those with a discerning taste.