I woke up and downloaded "Toxicity" and "B.Y.O.B." by System of a Down on Rock Band, as I was super excited for these tracks. After I played them once each on Expert guitar, I powered my Xbox down to go do the things I should have done when I first woke up (brush teeth, feed face, etc.) I came back in a hurry, wanting to get pwned on Expert drums by these songs, and lo and behold, Red Rings of Death.
I am the guy that always bragged. Yes sir, I was THE only guy I knew who got the launch Xbox that lasted. I was the guy that said not all of the 360's are defective, just look at my beautiful white box, with it's glistening green LEDs and its lewdly loud DVD drive. So when I saw these rings, my heart sank and my soul shriveled (ok it wasn't that bad). I was very distraught however. I unplugged the power and video connections many times, all in one feeble attempt to resuscitate my Halo-Box 360. None of them worked, so I took drastic measures...
I heard about the "towel trick" and had seen the video by Cheapy D on how to, in a sense, melt your Xbox into working order. I unplugged my HDD, USB cables, and video connection. Next, I got three towels and I wrapped them all around my Ecksbawks after powering it on and gazing into the cold red stare of the machine. After reassuring myself it was wrapped well, I set the timer for 20 minutes.
I came in due time and unwrapped my Xbox, with almost as much as excitement as tearing paper off of gifts at Christmas time. As the instructions said, I promptly turned it off and let it cool down from its surprisingly hot state. After 15 minutes, it was finally the moment of truth. Would my Xbox work? Was the heat treatment enough discipline to show it who's boss? I securely fastened all of my previous connections and configurations, excitedly depressed the power button, and as my eyes widened, I saw a familiar sight. Not the red rings, but the Xbox 360 startup screen!
It worked, but before I picked up the drumsticks and tested the pedal, I practically leaped to my local Wal-Mart (oh yeah, it happened) and bought a Nyko Intercooler EX. I figured it couldn't hurt...
When I returned home and installed the device, it was time to fail B.Y.O.B. on expert. And although System of a Down made me look like a three year old flailing on pots and pans with a whisk and a wooden spoon, I couldn't have been happier.
(DISCLAIMER: I ACCEPT NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU OR YOUR XBOX 360 OR ANY OTHER PERSONAL PROPERTY WHILE TRYING ANYTHING I DESCRIBED. TRY AT YOUR OWN RISK, OR DON'T, BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME. I ALSO MANAGED TO NOT BREAK MY ROBOCOP GUN, SAVING ME A LOT OF MONEY.)
"Don't forget to bring a towel!"
[Song lyric credits: "Baby Come Back," by Player]