I'm a little pissed.
Okay, I'm always a little pissed, but now a little bit more. I like Guitar Hero. A lot. I've played it consistently since it first arrived on the scene back in 2005. So I was, of course, gleeful when the third iteration finally came out.
I'm pretty good, so I got through the first two song sections on expert pretty easily. Barracuda was a bit tough because I ain't the best at those long single-note streaks. But that's okay. Then Tom Morello walks on-stage. Wow, sweet, Tom Morello. I loved Rage, I like Audioslave, and I think he's done a lot for guitarists with his innovative style. Plus I want his "Arm the Homeless" guitar.
Then, as those two chicks walk out on stage, I hear something. It's barely audible, but I immediately knew I was hearing the "Bow chicka bow bow" bullshit tagline from Axe deodorants.
I immediately wanted 5 bucks back from my purchase. Gibson can be in my guitar game, okay? Krank amps, Zildjan cymbals, Audioline Mics, those can all be in my guitar game. Axe has no place in my guitar game, and I want 5 bucks back for that blatant and shameless product placement. I think the chicks in the Mitch venue have the tagline on their shirts, not to mention a couple of guitars available for purchase. Brought to us by Axe. Whoop-tee-shit.
Axe deodorant doesn't belong in Guitar Hero III. It's as far away from rock as a lace doily holding a toy poodle with curls in its fur. Famous rock stars don't need Axe. They could smell like badger shit and chicks would still bang them. Axe paid Activision to put their stuff in the game, but I still paid full price for the guitar and disc. I want the developers to see every penny they deserve for the game; they earned it. But Axe detracts from my experience. In fact, I bet the developers all moaned and shook their heads when they got that call from Activision saying "put Axe commericals in it."
So I want five bucks back. That's it. Maybe I'll buy a bottle of Axe. No, just kidding, I won't. Activision, call me. I'm on your speed dial. Under F.