I would like to make an argument to include Jesus as a playable character in more video games.
I'm not talking about shitty unlicensed games like Bible Adventures
, but actual games. Picture the Son of God rocketing through the air with the energy sword in Halo 3
. He could have a healing fountain in Zelda
, and there would be a sidequest to go fishing so Jesus can give you a boatload of fish in return. Maybe Jesus is a rival thug in Grand Theft Auto
, kicking you out of cars so he can run over those corrupt cops. (They're corrupt, right?) I want to see him take on Lou in Guitar Hero
, in an epic rock-out that shatters both heaven and hell. Or maybe he could even be a new character in Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts
, transferring his carpenter experience over to the world of mechanics, aiding Banjo and Kazooie in building their contraptions.
Or maybe not. But hey, that last one would be as consistent with the old games as everything else they're putting into the new installment.
This week we're recording another episode of Failcast, featuring board-game wiz Conrad Zimmerman
. (Aren't we thoughtful?) We also think you guys might want to ask some questions, so we made this post. (Yeah, we're super thoughtful.) So just ask any and all questions about games, the industry, and sacrilege in the comments, and we'll answer them on the show. (We're so thoughtful, it's like "damn son, I can't handle all that thoughtfulness without my head exploding, know what I mean?")
Seriously though, ask some questions or Jesus will hate you. And you know who else Jesus hates? Communists